An older woman paired with a younger man? We’d hardly call it a stigma. "Cougars," "tadpoling" — what dismissive words our society has found to describe older women who find themselves in romantic relationships with younger men. While the archetype of the older man with a younger woman on his arm has been a constant in Western society, there has always been a double standard in the way we view the reverse gender pairing of older woman/younger man.

Click here to see photos of 12 "cougars" we love, from Cleopatra to Jennifer Aniston, and their smart younger men.

But, like so many other outdated notions the wowOwow generation has kicked to the curb, in recent years there’s been a makeover of the way popular culture considers the confident, grounded older woman pursuing and being pursued by the equally confident and grounded younger man. It’s no wonder. According to a study done by the very safe and very appropriate AARP, 34 percent of women over 40 are dating younger men.

But “cougar”?

About that word — cougar — and the animal-print-bloused, convertible-key-dangling, conspiring feline on the prowl for young studs that it conjures: This sultry babe certainly exists but, ironically, it appears that it’s often the younger men who are the ones on the prowl, seeking partners who are confident, sexually experienced and relatively inhibition-free. Why should this surprise us?

We’re probably stuck with the word “cougar” for the long term. From the hilarious “Cougars” episode on NBC’s "30 Rock” last season to the soon-to-be released book, Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, it appears to have found its way into our lexicon. Then there’s “tadpoling,” a term which seems to put an updated spin on the timeless kissing-a-frog-to-make-him-a-prince fairy tale. When said frog is really young, it’s called tadpoling. Thanks to Miramax Films’s 2002 “Tadpole” for that one.

The Half-Your-Age-Plus-Seven Rule

So, just what is the definition of a cougar? It’s a woman, typically 35 or older, who is in a relationship with a man who is younger than she by eight to ten years or more. According to urban legend, there’s also the “half-your-age-plus-seven rule,” a mathematical formula for determining when a May-December pairing of either gender is considered to be within societal norms.

For example, Jennifer Aniston, 38, dating younger John Mayer, 30: Take her age, 38, divided by 2 equals 19, plus 7 equals 26. Mayer, being 30, and 4 years older than 26, makes Aniston a “socially safe” cougar.

Queen Elizabeth I, 48 and her one-time fiancé Francois, Duke of Anjou, 22: 48 ÷ 2 = 24 + 7 = 31. The Queen? Not so “socially safe.”
But then again, she was Queen.