I remember my mother’s advice to me as a young child: Never argue about religion. Some people believe and some do not. It is not up to you (meaning me) to judge a person because they do not believe as you do.

Men invented every religion so as to obtain power within the tribe by answering questions with answers that could not be proved and promising rewards the receipt of which could not be proved. They lumped everything bad under the label “sin” and blamed women for being the roads through which sin was introduced into the world. All things feminine were declared ungodly. Each new religion has drawn extensively upon the previous religions. Every single one has many roots in our so called “pagan” religions. Human beings have no tolerance for any but their own religion and feel it is perfectly alright to go into other lands and other homes and try to “convert” the peoples there. People fight more wars in the name of their own precious religious beliefs than for any other reason. Religion kills.

I think testing one’s faith shows you are paying attention - by saying you don’t believe in the rituals means to me that you have a lot of meaning in your life - for me, I remain Catholic - being 43, my upbringing in the Church (12 years of schooling and my uncle [now deceased] was a priest) was part of the revolution in the schools - the nuns were folk singers and played basketball with us, I was never beaten and when I got yelled out, it was because I really was up to no good - it was still strict, you could hear a pin drop outside the classroom doors and we had a dress code all the way through high school but a little decorum never hurt anyone the Catholic Church at my college was very progressive and liberal as well so while many leave (even temporarily) the Church in the rebellious college years, I stayed - they preached missionary work, to do good in the world when you graduated when I got out of school, I lived in Boston and loved the old Irish Church where I belonged - it reminded me of my Mom’s Irish side of the family so I felt at home - when I got married and moved outside the city, the parish where we belonged was a culture shock - I walked out on sermons about women saying home, the problems of the world were because of us assertive women - and yes, I left the Church for a while when we moved closer into the city again and joined another Parish, I learned that the Church is only as good as its Parish - my faith and my beliefs are mine and are (mostly - cafeteria style) aligned with the Church but when I move in a Parish that’s not my liking, I find one that is - we (my husband and I) almost left the Church when the horrors of Boston Diocese were exposed and believe that justice in the laws of the land was not served - now, here in Maine, we have the Diocesan rebel who speaks out against all war, exposes the hypocrisy of right-wing Christianity and is just a dear man who has a great sense of humor so I guess my point is, not all Catholics are the same - there are a few of us Kennedy Democrats left in this country (Reagan didn’t get all of us) - I wouldn’t think of judging someone else’s faith and beliefs and I expect the same for me - when I hear a Catholic-bashing comment, I answer with “isn’t it great in this age of diversity that it’s still okay to bash the Catholics?” so please be careful as you answer this thread…

Thank you, Joan, for opening up this area of conversation. You must have resolved any reservations you have had about being “disloyal” or a “sinner” because I’m sure you know what a hot topic this is. I attended Catholic school for eight years. During that time, I was forced into silence and self-degradation because of what I experienced. Now at age 67, I’m still trying to think and speak my own spontaneous thoughts even though I have had a highly successful career as a psychoanalyst. When I first openly questioned the existence of God, I was eighteen. The priest I spoke to assured me that, as Thomas Aquiness said, there wouldn’t not be a wondrous natural universe without its creation by a supernatural being. That held me for ten years. When I got pregnant with my third child in six years trying to use the “rhythm” method, I stomped away from the Catholic Church and everything connected with it. I have also never looked back or regretted that decision. To my amazement, what replaced that “faith” became a respect and love for human nature, optimism, hard work and decency. It is very hard for me now to see the forceful impact that organised religion has on human behavior. The only thing I do miss in reaching the understanding that respect doesn’t eminate from the supernatural is thatI feel a certain lack of protection that I had when I believed that there was an afterlife or that a persons “sins” could be “forgiven” or that a superntural force could make good things happen. It is so much more difficult to struggle with life’s problems without “imaginary” protection.

My Catholic patients always feel so ‘guilty’ about cosmetic enhancements. One local priest denounces any attempt at improving one’s appearance. Grow old gracefully he says. One of my Catholic patients made a joke. She said ‘of course, the priests are chasing young boys. They don’t care how women look!’

I was raised Catholic and married in the church, the first time. After I was divorced, I still raised my daughter as a Catholic. When I remarried, I was not allowed to marry in the church. The big drift away from the whole thing started for me then, and culminated in a complete break for me when the priest scandals began. I consider myself a recovering Catholic and have not joined another church since the other Christian ones are all pale imitations of the original Catholocism. What’s the point? I certainly believe in God and an afterlife, and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, etc. I consider myself to be spiritual but not into organized religion. I live someplace where people are curious about where you go to church and usually invite you to join theirs. I am in the process of learning how to respond to those overtures without seeming hostile, since none of the disillusionment I feel has anything to do with them. It’s hard. There are probably many others just like me.