I love the term ‘Jesusian’ it is so appropriate. I was raised Southern Baptist and joined the Catholic church when I married. I didn’t see much difference between them. Very legalistic and patriarchal. The Lutheran church I belong to now has a woman pastor. I like the emphasis on grace. I read a wonderful book ‘Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd. I think she was writing my story.

I grew up going to the southern baptist church, with frequently visits back in my birth city at an assembly of God chuch where my daddy’s cousin was a minister. Trust me, I know about hellfire and brimstone!! The family across the street from was Catholic and they always went to church together every week as a family unit—no parents dropping you or picking you up. I was always jealous of that. Several years after I got married, I converted to the Catholic Church. I managed to sustain that even through the divorce and subsequent annulment, but I left for about ten years. I attended other churches and even went back to the baptist church for a bit (only to be told that my Catholic baptism didn’t count there and I would have to be RE-baptized). Eventually, I found my way back to the Church. I find Mass to be a religious experience in itself—the reverence and the prayers are great for me. There are problems in all religions, but I think you have to look beyond the human side of religion and embrace God …

Christianity has two huge problems: worshiping Jesus as “God in a man-suit” and defining God in exclusively masculine terms. I decided several years ago that I follow Yeshua bar Maryam, the real, historical human being with the inspiring message usually called “Jesus,” but I do NOT follow the mythic demigod created and worshiped by Paul of Tarsus. According to the Christian Testament, Yeshua inspired thousands of followers without ever once saying “I am God in a man-suit; worship me.” (Quite the opposite, if you believe Mark 1018.) // Meanwhile, the Bible, uniquely among ancient scriptures, says TWICE that God created women in God’s image; yet Christianity insists that God is exclusively Father, Son, and “the Lord, the giver of life” and did NOT create women in “his” image. Pshaw! My favorite Bobby McFerrin song, Psalm 23, worships the Mother, the Daughter, and the Lady. Show me a Christian church that does the same, and we’ll talk — but I’ll still follow Yeshua and NOT Paul.

For me, sacred music in church has always been its spiritual soul - so I follow the music.

I became a Catholic at 21 to become married to a Catholic, per his request. He went to confession to be forgiven by “God” each Saturday night after doing some somewhat dubious things to mankind during the week. We were divorced 7 years later. The marriage was annuled by the Catholic Church. Therefore, the two children that I have don’t exist….(?) under the laws of the Catholic Church. Needless to say, though when I was young (21) it gave me strength, but I was soon betrayed and saw how it was “used”. He felt as long as God forgave him on Saturday night, he didn’t need to be forgiven by man, or woman.

I wish I could be catholic again because it was nice belonging to something but when my mother was divorced, the Catholic Daughters of America told me I couldn’t come to their Christmas party because my mother and I were bad. (I was eight years old). I tried to be several other religions, was married in a church, my first child’s funeral was officiated by the church, the three other children’s baptisms were in the church (just in case) but I have come to believe in nothing but the goodness of the heart and mind. The bible is another work of fiction. I raised the children to do the right thing, to never hurt another and if they wanted to belong to something they were free to go to any building they wished on Sunday. Now grwn, none of them are church goers and they believe in themselves and the goodness of those they love. The church is not where it’s at.

I was born Jewish, but had little religious training until I was about twelve and began making miniature Christmas trees to decorate our mantle. Then I was forced into attending a Reform Jewish Sunday school. It was after stories of the concentration camps came out, and when the Rosenbergs were put to death. I questioned the existence of God, for if there was one, why had He allowed the slaughter of the Jews and all the horrors in the camps? So, I became a non-believer, but still considered myself Jewish. At eighteen, I had a Polish Catholic boyfriend who took me to Christmas midnight mass at a Polish church in Hamtramck, MI. I was seated behind many rows of nuns in their black habits. I wasn’t prepared for the incense, tinkling bells, chanting in Latin. As the chanting grew louder, I felt incredible terror, became convinced that the hand of God was going to strike me down, and quickly left the church. As I grew older, I realized the power that the church had over its people. It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve felt an unseen presence that lingers when I feel troubled.

I grew up Methodist, I believed at that time I would always be Methodist. I feel that it gave me insight into most protestent religions. I went to Church faithfully and this was not with my parents as they did not attend. Sitting in that all so familiar pew felt like I was wearing a comfortable shoe. I sang in the choir, went to Methodist Youth Group and Methodist Camp. I met my husband in College and he was perfect but I couldnt help believe he would be a better person if he were also Methodist. In College, like so many, I went to Church less than more. My then boyfriend and future husband never missed church. He was a die hard Catholic. He was and is the most gentle soul I know. He comes from a large family and I do not believe he has ever considered not being a Catholic. We married and I quizzed him to no end on his beliefs. I look back and I was really seeking to find what he had in what I considered a very strange and foriegn church. For the next ten years, I attended Church with my husband and 3 young children, clinging to my Methodist beliefs. One day it struck me like a bolt that there was much more comminality than diference and so I attended the classes to learn more about the Catholic Church . I had no intentions of being Catholic but I am Catholic and have been for so long now that I do not think much of my protestent roots. I will say this, I do not feel it matters so much whether you are Catholic or Protestent but I do always want to be considered a Christian. I feel bad that you find the word Christian to have a bad conitation but I respect that. I am sorry that if the Catholic Church has caused you any grief but I am pleased that it has made me feel whole. Now ,do not think that I am blinded to the faults of some of the Catholic Priests but it is just a handful of sick humans that were never really called to be Priests in the first place.Instead they are opportunists. There are things I would change about the Catholic Church but for now I am going to hang in there and believe that what I feel is genuine. This is the one time that I wish I could talk to you Joan. Not in any effort to change your mind but to ask a few questions that went unanswered in you short piece. I am wondering if you are just very sensitive and felt hurt about the way a few christians were representing themselves. I know that if you are familiar with the Phelps ministery in Topeka, ks for instance. I can not believe how they can continue to hate and call themselves Christian. I do not want to bore you with this and since I am writing so late I doubt that you will read this but it was good for me to write. May god bless…