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A Friend Stopped By | 02/10/2009 12:00 am

John Updike's Funeral: Revelations of a Double Life

The last chronicles of suburban adultery
By Roger Warner
John Updike © Getty Images

Editor’s Note: Roger Warner is the author of four nonfiction books, including Shooting at the Moon: The Story of America’s Clandestine War in Laos. He is currently at work on a nonfiction book called Otherworld: How a CIA Man and a Tribe of Shamans Changed Each Other’s Destinies.

My friend Kim, a bearded writer-turned-carpenter and a regular in [the late] John Updike’s poker group, went with me to Updike’s funeral. "I wonder how many of his women will be there," he remarked, as we walked up the steps of the church. "You know, the ones who will be thinking to themselves, ‘John was on top of my all-time lovers list,’ or ‘He really wasn’t that good in the sack,’ or …"

"Shhh! Be polite!"

The Episcopal church in Beverly Farms, MA, has a stolid stone exterior; stained-glass windows; and a dark, high-vaulted wood ceiling supported by scissor beams. The pews were filled with well-dressed upper crustaceans, of the local and imported varieties. Of Updike’s women, wife No. 1, the painter, who is lovely and well liked in the community, sat a few rows back, while wife No. 2, every hair in place, sat in the front, presiding.

"Kind of hard to tell, actually," muttered Kim, craning his head around. He exchanged introductions with the bearded man next to him in the pew. The organist struck the opening chord, and the service began. The pace was brisk, the hymns familiar. No eulogy. It could have been anybody’s funeral.

North of Boston, on Massachusetts’s North Shore, where John Updike lived for more than 50 years, he will be remembered not so much for his books — we couldn’t read them as fast as he could write them — as for his social effect. He was an undercover man — a spy, as he sometimes called himself. A world-class writer and a sexual adventurer who chose to camouflage himself among bland bourgeois suburban WASPs, perhaps because it was so easy to get away with. His breakthrough book, Couples, about marriage and infidelity, was published decades ago but there are still people talking about who did what to whom. In Essex County, MA, some women in their 70s pretend they weren’t part of the Couples scene, while others who weren’t part of it wished they had been, because their lives have been so uneventful.

The reception after the service offered slightly better clues to Updike’s enormous range. Here was David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker; and there was "Charlie Tutu," the cobbler from Ipswich, MA, another member of the poker group — who was wearing a pair of the leather clogs he sells at his shoe store. Updike seems to have liked everybody equally, and if he didn’t, it was hard to tell, because his genial bonhomie was nearly impossible to X-ray. A former neighbor of Updike’s was at the reception, a part of the old Couples scene. He agreed to talk freely so long as his real name wasn’t used, to protect the guilty, a category in which he put himself.

38 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

amp
Fascinating….. Makes me wish I hadn’t been such a Girl Scout. Love men that seem so genteel and are misbehaving…as long as it’s someone else’s husband it’s amusing. He reminds me a little of Dave Powers who I met at the Kennedy Library…and he let me tag along with a private tour he was giving. Neat man. Thank you Roger!
By amp on 02/10/2009 2:30 am
joan larsen
As young teenagers, two girls - Mary and Ann Pennington - were my classmates; their father a rather well known, on the University of Chicago campus, as the Unitarian minister of note. We were young, staid, proper. Mary Pennington married John Updike whose early books were enhanced by their lives in the bedroom. Sister Ann visited …and then Ann was bedded by Mary’s now-well-known husband. Divorce followed this one. But authors - particularly authors of note - are a different offshoot of our normal “celebrity” … but none the less, “in the news”. I believe few authors of note, like those in the entertainment business, are immune to the ready “offerings” that flock to them. Updike remarried, at the same time that his output of books and his critical acclaim was soaring. I am sure some of this largesse at his picket fence were the research and inspiration for the next book, and the next book. I have yet to know an acclaimed author who was immune to such “gifts” at his doorstep. You and I do not have to judge the man himself and his philandering to know whether his books are to our liking. And I feel if we did, we wouldn’t be reading all that much! As the songwriter sang: That’s Life!
By joan larsen on 02/10/2009 10:18 am
GrandeCamper
Interesting story. He sure wrote good books but it’s sad how he runt his marriage.
By GrandeCamper on 02/10/2009 10:24 am
TeaU
How inappropriate Roger - this article is in such poor taste. Why would you attend a funeral of someone only to bring in the door your mean spirited energy? How obnoxious. Beware: bad energy will circle back in your direction.  
By TeaU on 02/20/2009 8:32 pm
KaySara
Interesting. I am going to have to think about this article for awhile before I know what to make of it.
By KaySara on 02/10/2009 4:40 am
MarjorieC
Quite insightful. The north shore of Massachusetts breeds an odd lot of people. Old-moneyed, ship-building Yankees. Salem. Marblehead. It’s no wonder Updike wanted to live among them.
By MarjorieC on 02/10/2009 6:25 am
fp1
Basically he wanted the small town life he had as a boy. Hence his move there. His books are filled with nuances of small town life
By fp1 on 02/10/2009 7:40 am
MarjorieC
A world-class writer and a sexual adventurer who chose to camouflage himself among bland bourgeois suburban WASPs, perhaps because it was so easy to get away with. For fifty adult years on the north shore of Boston, he found everything he needed, from characters to setting. Whether he can be admired for that, I’m not sure. Beverly Farms, where he resided, is a quirky place of ultra rich and the working class who provide for them. Big gap between the two, and the gap is maintained.
By MarjorieC on 02/10/2009 11:28 am
amp
My step-daughter is a high-powered Boston lawyer with a big firm and lives in Marblehead…and my son after graduate school lived in Chesnut Hill for a year or two on a project, and I did a lot of work in Boston and Salem. I love MA to visit, love the history…had lots of fun there on the Cape, etc. Great place…but it isn’t California. But then MA types say the same to me with that MA ‘snif.’ Everyone talks about California values…but never knew anyone who was catting around like Mr. Updike apparently was. I was too square. Must have sang too many verses of the Girl Scout song when young. lol “I will come to your door. Friendly and warm in my uniform, Nice as a girl scout can be. Please buy your cookies from me. I’m a girl scout. I’m a girl scout. Campfire girls We’re pretty.”
By amp on 02/10/2009 1:14 pm
GreenTears
A lot of stuffy, phony jerks, too. My sister moved to the ‘Farms’ and loved to gush about seeing Updike in the local bookstore - the North Shore looks better in print than reality.
By GreenTears on 02/10/2009 7:21 pm
ChromeToe
A literary great i’m sure… but not so sure a good person. sounds like someone who spent a lot of his life teasing and hurting the people around him.
By ChromeToe on 02/10/2009 9:16 am
fp1
Unfortunately that happens all to often with the creative. Look at Picasso and Caravaggio as exemplars of this.
By fp1 on 02/10/2009 9:45 am
loismackey
Are you basing that he’s not a good person on something you read…or you know for sure? 
By loismackey on 02/28/2009 3:37 pm
DeBrcaobj
As I read that article, Updike’s personal life sounds like one of those horrible, artsy-fartsy, depressing movies that has no real point, about a person who is excused for his cruelty to others because of he is perceived by himself and the other characters as being a great artist. Usually even the lurid sex scenes in those movies are depressing.
By DeBrcaobj on 02/10/2009 11:07 am
DeBrcaobj
TYPO: remove the “of” before “he is perceived”
By DeBrcaobj on 02/10/2009 11:55 am