Oscar Day: It’s only 9:19 a.m. and I Mr. Wow feels like he’s had Waaaayy too many Boston Cream Pie martinis—yeah I watching the Food Network too. First off, Mr. Wow has not been cat-fought (or dog-fought) over for…decades. He is amused. Second, no you “won’t be the judge of that.” Just as I won’t really be the judge of anybody I comment on tonight. Not in any real way. I don’t think I’m any smarter than anybody here—and I’ve seen some awfully smart writing on this site! This is not a challenge, it is one person’s opinion. So what if I’ve met everybody famous on the planet. I’m still human. Third—of course it’ll be “garbage about who wore what.” This is Oscar coverage. There are 50 serious stories to read on this site, and Sunday’s NY Times to peruse or a nifty new issue of Film Comment, if you want to get all serious about movies and actors. This is all light-hearted, hopefully not too snarky, though that is always a big temptation, and a little escape from talk of the economic situation. We can watch the stock market plunge again tomorrow. I suppose this would be a good time to give you my Oscar picks. No? Too bad. And these are just my personal favorites, what moved me. Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire. It made the perpetually jaundiced M. Wow feel he had a heart. (Sometimes I watch “The Yearling” just to go hysterical when the deer gets shot, or “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” so I can weep unshamedly as Dorothy Magure goes into labor, regretting how tough she’s had to be to survive.) In any case, though many prefer “Benjamin Button” on the sentiment scale, I’m rooting for “Slumdog.” It made me happy. Best Director: Danny Boyle for “Slumdog” but don’t be shocked if “Benjamin Buton’s” David Fincher or “The Reader’s” Stephen Daldry walk off with Oscar. They love to be perverse and honor the movie but not the director. I must remind you—Oscar rarely makes sense, ever. Best Actor: Brad Pitt. Oh, no—not because I thought his mush-mouthed performance was so superior to Sean Penn or Richard Jenkins or Frank Langella or Mickey Rourke. No, I just want to see him up there looking pretty, with lots of reaction shots from Angelina (and Jen, though why she’d be at the Oscars I haven’t a clue.) But…I think the Academy might give it to Rourke, just because they want to seem all forgiving of his trespasses and plastic surgeries and fall from grace. Please! He’s made his comeback, he’s been nominated, his old dog’s death was a major news story, I think that’s enough. Best Actress: I hope and pray it is Kate Winslet. She is a great actress, she has been nominated six times. She—in the immortal acceptance speech words of Shirley MacLaine, deserves it. And won’t Time magazne be in a pickle, already putting her on its cover as Best Actress? If she loses, what—next week “Oops?” And she might lose. Not to Melissa Leo, who is great, not to Anne Hathaway, who is very good (charm goes a long way with this girl), and certainly not to Angelina Jolie—how did that happen? No, the 500 pound gorilla is Miss Meryl Streep, queen of mannerisms. Despite Streep’s endless nominations and two previous wins, her last Oscar was way back in 1982 for “Sophie’s Choice.” (Her first was a Best Supporting statuette for “Kramer Vs. Kramer”) So they might feel Meryl must have Best Actress bookends. I hope not. And by the way, I watched “Sophie Choice” the other night and—I can’t help it—I just don’t think she’s very good. Her best performance was “Postcards from the Edge”. She should have won for that and…gone away. Best Supporting Actor: Michael Shannon, “Revolutionary Road.” His high emoting was the performance that made sense in that film. Heath Ledger? Why? What good does it do? He is creepily brilliant in “The Dark Knight” but honor him separately in some way. Just as it is not fair to award a child actor in competition with an adult, it’s absurd to honor the dead as opposed to the living. Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis. I can’t be cute, if you’ve seen “Doubt” you know she is the heart of the movie. I wouldnt cry if Penelope Cruz won for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” though a Latina spitfire crazy woman is pretty easy to play. Actually, if not Viola, then Marisa Tomei for “The Wrestler.” That is quite a performance and she has paid dues aplenty since her win for “My Cousin Vinny.” (Winning the Oscar too soon can be a bit of a career drag.) Best Sound Editing: Well, I think…oh, right. Like we care? How about Live Action Short Film? Oh, 10:00 a.m. Have to tune into the Chris Mathews Show and see what he’s spitting (and I mean literally) out this morning. Then a big channel-surf of all the news programs, where there is no more reality or honestly on display than what we will see tonight, from the Kodak Theater. Later, ladies, gents and those who have not made up your minds. Mr. W.

4:53. Waiting for E!’s red carpet. Just saw Raquel Welch in a TV ad for Foster Grand glasses. Uh…Oscar 2009 should get as glam as Miss Welch pitching her near-sighted-ness. Mr. Wow thinks Raquel looks better now than she did when she made movies. Maybe somebody had the sense to invite Raquel to present something? But NO, we’ll probably get Davd Henri and Selena Gomez from “The Wizards of Waverly Place.” (Actually, these are two very attractive Disney youngsters. Barbara Walters is interviewing the Jonas Brothers tonight. It’s a new world.)

5:45 Whew! This is a gonna be a tough evening. Not only did I catch a glimpse of Miss Welch and her eyeglasses, my impatient channel surfing led to The last half hour of “Sunset Boulevard.” The rest of TCM’s line-up tonight? “The Bad and the Beautiful” and “Stage Door.” Good grief! Help me through the night, Lord. Great line from Bill Holden to Gloria Swanson: “Norma, you’re a woman of 50. There’s nothing wrong with being fifty, as long as you don’t try to act like you’re 25!” Madonna—you’ve told.