Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

Julia Reed | 06/25/2008 12:40 pm

Julia Reed: I Keep All My Exes in My Closet

Julia Reed

Editor’s Note: Julia Reed’s new book, The House on First Street, is now available! Click here to check it out.

I have a whole rack in my closet full of clothes I do not wear — mostly they serve as reproaches because I can no longer fit into them. One pair of Anne Klein (yes! Anne Klein from the Donna Karan/Louis Dell’Olio days) cognac silk pants I haven’t put on my body since I was maybe 22, but I keep thinking, "one day …"

But there are a few I simply can’t part with: First, a thin, thin cotton floral-print Cacharel dress with a tight bodice, a back cut to the waist and a mid-calf knife-pleated skirt. It is still so chic I can’t stand it. I bought it when I was 13 and working at Hafter’s department store in downtown Greenville, MS, sweeping the floor in the "receiving room," recording all the clothes "in the book" as they came in and then putting the price tags on them. (I never answered the question about the best job I ever had, but this was unquestionably it.) The most stylish woman I have ever known ran the place — her name was Lib and she was tall and angular and she wore Detchema as her scent and shoes from the great old Henri Bendel shoe department and Cartier brooches on her lapel and she smoked Tareytons from a tortoiseshell holder. Anyway, I was going to the wedding of a man on whom I had a mad crush (I was 12 when crush came over me and he was 22) and I really wanted to make him sorry and Lib advised me to buy this dress. So I spent my entire summer’s wages and then she helped me get some Charles Jourdan snakeskin sandals (sent on the bus from her shoe man at Neiman Marcus in Dallas) and I’m pretty sure the man in question didn’t notice me, but I heard grown women admiring my getup and I am pretty sure I haven’t looked that good since. So the dress hangs as a shrine of sorts.

I'm pretty sure the man in question didn't notice me, but I heard grown women admiring my getup ... I haven't looked that good since.

So does a blue and pale yellow madras shirt that belonged to the first man I actually fell in love with (as opposed to having a crush on). I was 16 and he was almost twice as old (this is why I hope my mother doesn’t read these answers) and drove a yellow Volkswagen bus and had lived in Jamaica and that shirt still reminds me so palpably of him that I can see him in it like he’s actually standing in front of me, which might well be dangerous.

There is also a Bill Blass coat made of a Brunschwig and Fils cotton leopard-print upholstery fabric that I wore every day for a year over black leggings and a black cashmere sweater. The shoulders are too wide now and it looks as worn as it was, but it reminds me of Bill and how much I adored him. The last time I saw Pat Buckley before she died, we both talked about how much we loved that coat.

Read more about: Fashion, Relationships, Style

23 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Frannie Em
Frank I understand and I hear you. I am glad you expressed it and talked about it in the way that you did. There is great love in your words when you speak about all of them.. Who could ask for more than that. My mother died 13 years ago right in front of me when I was trying to get her into the hospital. I miss her everyday and I carry her with me because one of the most important things she taught me was that there was only one mistake a person could make, and that was to be unloving. Kind of covers it all doesn’t it.
By Frannie Em on 06/27/2008 1:41 am
Frannie Em
PS signing off, I have to get up and get one wayward 15 year old off to his algebra class that starts at 7:00am.
By Frannie Em on 06/27/2008 1:44 am
Frannie Em
Ms Julila Well, you opened your closet door and we followed suit. I was surprised what happened, I guess it was those ghosts that hide in all those places that we are afraid to look. They seem to stream out on smoke and always leave us somber and distant. That is okay, so long as the love is there.
By Frannie Em on 06/28/2008 5:56 pm
Frank Peterson
Yes, Frances , Exactly—the love is the most important thing—not the smoke and shadows—.and i don’t get sombre or distant about it—it’s a living presence for me as you know, Frances. It’s me and what I am. And I thank them all for it.
By Frank Peterson on 06/28/2008 6:50 pm
Frank Peterson
Ms. Reed thank you for this opportunity to open this subject—I’ve kept so much of all this inside for so long now—and I’m happy to have shared tho it probably makes sense only to me and a few others like Frannie. Frances you sure got me to open up :-)
By Frank Peterson on 06/28/2008 6:55 pm
Flora Dora
Dear Frank, in Judaism there are rituals and prayers to comfort us when we remember the dead. Their is a service called Yizkor four times a year at major holidays. We pray for everyone we’ve lost. But the special one is Yahrzeit, which one says within the community (ten people are necessary.) and is said on the anniversary of the death. You also light a candle that burns for twenty four hours. My cousin, who was really like a brother to me, told me when he was dying of AIDS, that his biggest fear was he’d be forgotten. Neither of us were religious, but I told him as long as I lived, I’d say Yahzeit for him. After I started for him, it was such a comfort to have that special day, that I went also for my dear brother, who died at thirty, my father and later my mother. I saw my mother do this when I was younger and thought it was an archaic ritual. I didn’t understand. Maybe you could find a special way to honor the many memories you carry that would give you comfort. And your dear Annie was a very lucky woman to have had a man love her so much.
By Flora Dora on 06/30/2008 12:24 am
GEORGE WU, A.I.A.
This topic reminds me of a good looking woman I met in one of those Singles functions in Connecticut. She told me that her husband left her and the kids and went to San francisco after divorce and came out of the CLOSET and lived as a gay man.—-dancewu(dot)net
By GEORGE WU, A.I.A. on 07/01/2008 4:12 am
Juniper Mine
The contents of my closet: I finally only have one wedding dress in my closet. I have other dresses that remind me of all types of events - funerals, weddings, interviews, dates. I have favorite baby outfits and blankets from each of my 3 children. I have a myriad of black shoes. I have a plethora of books. I have evidence of abandoned hobbies. That’s about it.
By Juniper Mine on 07/03/2008 9:41 am