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A Friend Stopped By | 06/16/2008 10:15 am

The Big De-clutter: Tips From a Professional Organizer, by Julie Morgenstern

By Julie Morgenstern

Editor’s Note: Julie Morgenstern is a New York Times best-selling author and professional organizer. Her fifth book, When Organizing Isn’t Enough: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life arrived in bookstores in June.

Most people define clutter as just junk. Sounds simple enough — just toss it, we are told, just let the junk go. But, for some reason, that’s not so easy.

Have you ever heard this parable? A wanderer on a lonely road comes upon a torrential stream that washed out the only bridge for miles. The wanderer couldn’t swim and was afraid to wade across, so he spent several days toiling in the woods to build a small raft. The structure he built was solid and it carried him across the raging water safe and sound. Once on the other side, he thought, "This is a good raft. If there’s another stream ahead, I can use it again." And so he carried that raft for the rest of his life.

The process of throwing things out forces you to recognize what your attachment is.

As an organizing professional, one of my jobs is to help people identify their rafts. Instead of thinking of these rafts as "junk," I encourage my clients to consider them as a point of entry. These "points of entry" act as levers, opening up room for thought and energy, and allow you to confront an old belief system or fortify your identity.

A point of entry might be an old filing system, the entire left side of your garage, a bad habit (like procrastination) or a professional commitment you (secretly) wish would vanish from your schedule.

What are the "rafts" in your life — the suspiciously stagnant areas in your home, office or schedule? What memories, old attachments or old belief systems has digging through your clutter brought up? Here are 12 typical ones:

  • Rarely worn clothing
  • Excessive memorabilia
  • Overstuffed closets
  • Unloved furniture and decorations
  • Unread magazines, newspapers, books
  • Stagnant piles of paper
  • Defunct filing system
  • Incomplete projects and to-dos
  • Unfulfilled promises
  • Burdensome commitments
  • Cumbersome roles
  • Time-wasting habits

The process of throwing things out forces you to recognize what your attachment is. When I became an empty nester four years ago, after much angst-filled deliberation, I decided to move from the Brooklyn apartment in which I’d raised Jessi to Manhattan. Dismantling our wonderful home was emotional and difficult, but ultimately sweet and celebratory. I was able to select the greatest treasures from that chapter of my life and to create a new home that reflects the next chapter — single, social, active, with a significantly expanded business.

During the big de-clutter, I was surprised to discover myself clutching to two dozen cookbooks I owned — despite the fact that I never used any of them! As a single mom and entrepreneur, I raised my daughter on takeout, homemade pancakes once per year on her birthday and maybe one holiday dinner. Yet I’d always aspired to be the kind of mom who whipped up wonderful meals every night, meals that my daughter would look forward to and feel loved by. As I sat there frozen on my kitchen floor, I realized that it wasn’t the recipes I was attached to — those cookbooks represented the good mom I hoped to be. Letting those cookbooks go meant recognizing that I never became Donna Reed or Martha Stewart, which forced the next question: What kind of good mom had I been? And I could answer that: I created a warm inviting home and spent tons of one-on-one time with Jessi talking, reading, learning and goofing around. She’s a healthy, grounded, self-confident kid who feels very loved, and I achieved that in ways other than home-cooked meals. So, with that insight, I was able to embrace my identity from within and jettison the cookbooks.

Click here to read Julie Morgenstern Asks: Is It Time to Get Organized … or to Shed?

19 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Chari Bonagua
Parting with long held possessions is very difficult. However, for the sake of sanity, it must be done. I have given away old clothes, gave old magazines to the recycling plant and throw away those bags that are not usable anymore. I, however, held on to my books. Those will remain with me.
By Chari Bonagua on 06/16/2008 12:23 pm
Brooklyn Gal
It’s my paperwork that has me bogged down. Bought a shredder, but that can take forever too. Letting go of possessions is hard. I also donate or give them away to people I know can use it.
By Brooklyn Gal on 06/16/2008 12:35 pm
Brooklyn Gal
Forgot to add that it does help free the spirit. It’s just finding the time to get down and do it.
By Brooklyn Gal on 06/16/2008 12:36 pm
Agyness O
We are just the temporary custodian of “things”. Decluttering allows us the time to live and not just be a servant of stuff. I try to remember this everyday.
By Agyness O on 06/16/2008 1:23 pm
kermie b
I took a week off from work in March to start to declutter my studio apartment. In that time I emptied two (of seven) bookcases and packed away only the books I wanted to keep. I packed away sentimental photo albums. I gave away a lot. I packed every day for seven days and put all the boxes in a storage unit, which, I reasoned, cost far less than rent on a larger apartment. It was a start. This is difficult. I still have CHAOS—Cannot Have Anyone Over Syndrome. I vow to conquer this before the end of this year.
By kermie b on 06/16/2008 1:28 pm
Frannie Em
K ib LOL CHAOS love that
By Frannie Em on 06/17/2008 12:51 am
Loressa  Dunn
This one really hits home for me. I am almost at the end of the school year and will soon have no excuse NOT to de-clutter. I am a substitute teacher so even though throughout the school year I have many days on which I could rout out the closets, utilize the round file and make a St Vinnies or Goodwill drop, I usually don’t. Now that the ‘end’ is so near I must do something about the messes I have generated around me. My husband refers to my ‘office/retreat’ as, “your junk room.” Pretty bad huh? I also have a husband dubbed, “junk closet” but I cleaned it up a year ago so, really, he has no right continuing to belittle my closet and it’s contents. I am itching to get to work on my “junk room” but am at a loss what to do with all the stuff. I am toying with the idea of making my two fully adult children take the bulk of it since much of that which needs weeding is, in fact, theirs. My son’s stuff consists of guy things and toys (same diff really). There are two giant plastic tubs full of old (never to be played again) video games, CDs,DVDs and VHS tapes as well as a couple ‘manual’ games and almost all of the Chevron ‘Cars’ that could be purchased with a fill-up (WHAT’S THAT?!?). My daughter’s collections include some of same A/V stuff but add to that prom gowns that will never be pinned by a corsage again, shoes (dyed to match the former) and all the other cute clothes she cannot (after almost 10 years) bear to toss. Trouble with the clothes is that they are too outdated to be caught dead in but too young to be vintage (sigh). But the creepiest part of her collection of stuff is the dusty, spider webby heap of stuffed toys and dolls that are wedged onto a large open shelf in the corner of the room. Someone, and it ain’t going to be her, has to go through that tangle bears, kitties, Cabbage Patch and My Little Pony’s. Well, wish me luck and I’ll light a candle and come out of this summer vacation with a ready to re-fill ‘junk room’ or good intentions to clean up my messy life next vacation.
By Loressa Dunn on 06/16/2008 1:58 pm
Brooklyn Gal
Loressa, Loressa Part of my day was always clearing off my classroom desk and organizing my classroom during lunch or after school. I learned never to take tests and reports home because they would get mixed into the clutter, so I marked them in the quiet of my classroom after the students left. By the time I got home, I was too tired to deal with my stuff—hence clutter. I think my lack of energy and lack of sleep may also come from the clutter. KiB: CHAOS!! Exactly!! LOL
By Brooklyn Gal on 06/16/2008 5:32 pm
iris odonata
Oh my, yes. How timely this is. First, it made me think of George Carlin’s great riff on stuff. For those who may not know it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac. Second, I decided to use one of my genie wishes from the other thread. I wish to detach from attachments that no longer serve. The raft carrier is an indicator of how long we forget that if we can create something once, we can do it again. We all know, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” I’m off to free myself forward. Hooray and thanks! Injoy, Iris
By iris odonata on 06/16/2008 5:00 pm
georgia fatwood
Hooray and thanks, oh my! In navigating today I found the posts from Julie’s first go ‘round in early April..and the suggestions and comments were terrific. Maybe this could be a quarterly post..Just to see how we’re doing. Learning the computer is helping me translate “new folder” and “save as”, etc. into household efforts. My New Year’s resolution, Jan. ‘07 was to reduce my household posessions by half. I was giving myself a year to do it. Then I moved to my daughter’s to be full-time Granny for nine months during which time my mom died and,as eldest sibling, I said yes to keeping all manner of things just because we couldn’t make decisions well. So it’s 18 months later and I’m getting back at it in earnest. The insights on the April post really bring home the issue of how stuff is symbolic…We moved as a family so many many times..each move necessitating renegotiating school peer groups, etc., but the household, with few changes, was always “the outward and visible” that meant “safe”. My mom had told us when she moved to her one room from an overstuffed apartment, “I’ve loved using all these things but I don’t need any of it and you are free to do with it what you will.”I’m trying to follow her example. It’s infinitely tougher to persuade my adult children that this is something I must do. Again, the April thread…I can no longer escape the compelling quid pro quo…the trade-off, the reward system: clear out this drawer and you get to paint (fill in the blanks) for (fill in the blanks) hours. I am finding the innate upheaval is worth the trouble. The process, does require some quiet. I am struck with how NOISY all that stuff gets….”wash me, cook me, mend me, read me, polish me, find a good home for me.” I’m talking back to it and some of the commentary gets ridiculous..”Is a four course dinner for sixteen twice a week really in the cards here?” And today, getting ready to put winter clothes in blanket chests and wardrobes: “Hey, doll, do you really want to continue dressing like an Amish lesbian?”(Please don’t nail me on this..) In the interest of teaching what I need to learn, I offer a few practical notions someone may find helpful : Historic homes folks say that in cleaning, you start around the edges..if you’ve spent a long time pushing stuff against the walls..I have..this works well for cleaning out as well as cleaning up.. Out of sight/out of mind needs to be replaced with “out of house/out of mind”.. Remember the Shakers…an empty floor can be a clean floor. Never underestimate the value of construction/contractors weight trash bags. They will take care of almost anything you can toss in them. The Ziploc 2.5 gallon bag was a revelation..that was before they made the really huge ones. Dump out a big box, file drawer, and “distill” it into a 2.5 Zip. Take it to bed with you for late night reading later with the idea of distilling it way down. Resist the temptation to throw them under the bed which only prolongs the process. Bless the brazen frugality of those Great Depression moms, those queens of the two-ounce leftover portion in the Harvest Gold Fridge. “Make do, do without, use it up wear it out”…I’m looking at this project differently today thanks to you all…Light..lightened..enlightened..thanks…
By georgia fatwood on 06/16/2008 8:05 pm
iris odonata
Georgia Fatwood: SITLCOU (Sitting in the Library Chuckling Outloud Uproariously) I’d LMAO, yet it always stays the same size. You are a great big gulp of homemade yummy funny….”mend me, feed me, read me, clean me…” I started talking back at ‘em, telling them the only one I hearing now is the one singing, “sell me.” The Art of Simple Economy…Lessons at Grandma’s Knee. Injoy,
By iris odonata on 06/17/2008 4:39 pm
Linda Clark
I began “down-sizing” a few years ago. It was so liberating! When my mother-in-law moved to Central Texas last year, she had so much stuff (as she has always been a compulsive accumulator). She had finally come to the conclusion that all of it was consuming her life. With an ailing husband and a much smaller dwelling, she asked how I was able to down-size. My advice to her was what I refer to as: 2 for 1! Get rid of 2 old items if you must have a new 1. She hated it at first, but now when she finds a new “pretty-whatever thing”, she’ll call me to tell me what items she got rid of to make room for the new one!
By Linda Clark on 06/16/2008 9:24 pm
Lorraine Bates
I’ve moved so much in my life, I’ve gotten fairly good at this. The fact that I can pack a 2,800 square foot house in a week, and unpack it in a day, is my barometer. So far, so good.
By Lorraine Bates on 06/17/2008 12:00 pm
georgia fatwood
Maybe another gauge for stuff worthiness could be …can I pick it up?…can I fix it if it breaks?…(Oh, Arthur, look at that poor woman with that flashlight and futon)
By georgia fatwood on 06/17/2008 7:36 pm
Elizabeth Bennett
I lost a lot of weight over the last two years, but somehow still have all those too big clothes in my closet. [Well, not ALL of them, I dragged some of them to a consignment store a while back.] This article made me start to think why I hadn’t gotten rid of them a year ago. Interesting. Maybe I don’t trust myself completely not to gain it back? At least one dress I wore to my father’s funeral and I want to keep it, isn’t that silly? Maybe I can alter it. I did solve the problem of a stuffed animal that my first boyfriend gave me sometime in the sixties. It was romantic then, but the actual toy grew dingy and worn over the years and I eventually took a photo of it and surrendered it to the garbage collectors. Still, I have too much stuff and I am making an effort to get rid of it, one cubic yard at a time. I also collect cookbooks, but I actually do use them. Still I think I have too many. I am using the trick of when I buy something new, two things have to go. That way, the decluttering happens steadily in addition to my weekly collection of the cubic yard of stuff that has to go. Iris, thanks for the George Carlin link. That was really true, really funny. My sister is ahead of me in this however. She will not keep a magazine if it is more than three months old, even if she has not read it, even if it has a great article on pasta primavera, even if it has that great interview with her favorite scientist/world leader/guru. That discipline came from years of her feeling imprisoned by towering piles of paper, but I am not there yet. I still have my towers.
By Elizabeth Bennett on 06/17/2008 10:25 pm