Edith Ann | 07/18/2008 3:00 pm

Life in the Little Lane: Edith Ann on Daddy's Drinking

I think back on those early days when Daddy and me would just kick back and shoot the breeze – we’d talk about grownup things. We might tackle some CNN-type global issues or we’d talk about all the layoffs down at the outdoor-carpeting factory, or he might just open up some beers – and we’d put in some Jim Croce tapes, sing along or just listen close to the words.

This was before we knew Daddy had a drinking problem. Daddy and I were the last to know. In fact, I don’t think it was even that much of a problem to us.

Now, he’s in a 12-Step Program. I’m proud of him, because I am sure he would rather be drinking.

He said he stopped drinking for me. But frankly, I miss those times when he was a little high. Does anyone know what I mean?

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Afternoon Mz. Edith Ann Yes I do know what you mean. Someone close to me used to have a few too many every day and then quit cold turkey. This person is now a stick in the mud since quitting the old boozerinski. Now I guess that’s ok if you want to make mud pies. Peace and Goodwill…..doll

By doll lady on 07/18/2008 1:21 pm

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Greetings Miss E: Yup, yup, know ‘xactly whacha mean…sometimes the sobering reality of good intentions leaves the playful thirsty. Not easy being little or big for lots of us. Wasn’t Dad for me, was me Irish Uncles…miss those guys. Thanks Miss E for being here to scuff in the sandbox with. Injoy,

By iris odonata on 07/18/2008 1:49 pm

Hello, Iris, I have missed you. So good to see you back here. Wasn’t my dad or my uncles, it was me….up till 12 years ago. . Peace and grace

By beth willis on 07/18/2008 6:50 pm

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Dear Edith Ann, I was just telling Iris about why I can understand your feelings about your dad. Sometimes people who drink feel like they can share their emotions better, that they don’t have to worry about any bills or jobs or responsibilities..that’s when they are younger and they really don’t have anyone depending on them. Then days and years pass by and habits don’t change, but responsibilities do. Then it’s not the last drink that is the problem; it really is the first drink that is the problem because your dad’s drinking gauge is broken. But his love for you became stronger and stronger, and he took a big step to change his habits so that you would know who he really is , and you would have the chance to be a kid, not worrying about him all the time. Maybe he will seem different, but his love for you will only grow…and the best part, both of you will remember your childhood happily. Peace and grace

By beth willis on 07/18/2008 7:06 pm

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Beth: Daddy talks about that ‘first drink’ all the time. He said to me, ‘Edith, I’m not going to take that first drink ever again.’ Now, we mostly drink Dr. Pepper. It’s wasn’t my favorite but since my Dad likes it so do I. Now, we’re trying to get my dad’s brother Charlie to like it. Seems like all the brothers in my dad’s family like whiskey. My mom doesn’t even smoke. I told her that’s good for both of us. Daddy has to smoke in the yard and I always move my chair when he lights up. I sit near the fan so the smoke blows away from me. Daddy makes sure the fan’s pointed just right. I know smoking is not the best thing for him but I can’t see him giving up cigarettes and whiskey so close together. So, for the time being, I’ll just move my chair. I can still see him smile and hear him whistle even when I’m not sitting right next to him. I should also mention that I’ve trained my new dog Buster 2 to move when I do. Love, Edith

By Edith Ann on 07/23/2008 4:11 am

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Dear Edith Ann, Thank you so much for your personal reply. I am humbled that you found the time to write, what with hop-scotch, sandbox time and popsicles on hot afternoons……the juice running down your arm and onto your shorts. I remember. I live in Texas where Dr. Pepper was invented. If you come here, I will take you to Dublin, Texas, for an ‘original’ Dr.Pepper. Original Dr. Peper has so much sugar, your teeth rot by the time you get back to your car. Maybe you would like my favorite: Nehi Grapette., if we can find it. I know your dad feels good about his decision, and you are so grown up to know giving up everything at once is maybe too much. I am so glad that you have Buster to walk with you through this new adventure with your dad. I will keep you in my prayers, Edith Ann. Peace and grace

By beth willis on 07/24/2008 9:04 pm

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Beth, That took guts …. and I am all about guts …. I am proud to know you. And your message to Edith Ann is the best one on this thread.

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/20/2008 10:21 pm

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Navy wives, the jet jocks went to Happy Hour and we were alone…and alone…and alone…Then there were the O Club parties. I found myself drinking a little gin to put some distance between myself and the partygoers. My son turned out to be a drug addict. So, even though Daddy was OK…others may not be and vice-versa. I have a doctor who still talks about “moderation,” and although he sounds like an old poop, he is right.

By Kay Weeks on 07/19/2008 6:09 am

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Hey, Lily of the Valley: You can see that I wrote to Beth telling her that Daddy and I have switched to Dr. Pepper. But I think ginger ale is a good drink, too. Love, EA

By Edith Ann on 07/23/2008 4:13 am

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Hello Edith Ann! Yes, I know what you mean. There is nothing worse than a dry drunk. And I hate it when they take out those stupid coins … I think those coins should made of out chocolate. I tried to eat one and it tasted gross. My mother has a ton of those coins. She takes it out to show me and I cringe because they don’t really mean anything on account she can never get past the one year mark. I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with such troubles at your young age. Hey, I GOT IT Edith Ann, go get your dads coins and I will my moms coins and we can “pitch pennies” … winner takes all. Uh, oh, maybe not if we get caught “pitching pennies” then you will have to see Dr. Lopez and she might put us in Gamblers anonymous. And if we go to gamblers anonymous we will get more coins and if we get coins we may want to “pitch pennies” again. Yep, I sure do wish those stupid coins were made of chocolate. Don’t you?

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/18/2008 3:53 pm

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Blue Circle Girl: Oh, gosh, I forgot, daddy gambles, too. I do not think he can handle any more meetings, BCG. He has to go every day after work or before his shift starts. He says it helps him stay sober. I think he’s doing a great job and I tell him everyday when he gets home. Gambling is not such a big problem right now because mom is handling the money so now the bills get paid on time. I think she has put my dad on an allowance. We’re getting about the same each week, I think. But my dad still has enough to take me to the Dairy Queen once or twice a week so he must be getting more allowance than me. I’m the only one who walks to the Dairy Queen with daddy. We just seem to get along. My sister Irene is 13 and she is always in a bad mood so I’m glad she doesn’t sit in the yard with us or go to the Dairy Queen because we definitely do not get along. Teenagers are hard to figure out. They can be real trouble. I know Irene is that way. I’ll just make the best of it. But I’m still collecting articles to show her about how heavy metal music can shorten your life. Love, Edith

By Edith Ann on 07/23/2008 4:30 am

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We love you Edith Ann! I like Disco! And the Dairy Queen! :)

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/23/2008 5:17 pm

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Dear Edith, I understand. My grandfather was a big drinker too. He was also half Native American, so I always thought he was cool no matter what! Actually, I sometimes feel that Native Americans were helpless against alcohol because new settlers in America use to provide it to them in exchange for animal furs—the Natives knew how to hunt, but the settlers didn’t know how to hunt at all. Now we see a lot of Native Americans who have a bit of a problem with the white lightening—it goes way, way back. Anyway, back to my grandfather. I can still see his dark skin and shiny blue-black hair sticking out among the upshoots of corn as he tilled his backyard garden. Those were the days. He died when I was in 7th grade, and I miss him dearly even now. My mom always seemed to have a conflict with grandpa because of his drinking, but I loved him—I know she loved him too, it was just different for her because she knew him when he was a ferocious drinker! The bad thing is that when there is a heavy drinker in the family, little quirks always seems to filter down through the descendants—“stinking thinking.” It often times indirectly influences how other family members live their lives. It can be sad. But, I do miss my grandpa!

By Serena . on 07/18/2008 4:21 pm

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Hello Serena ………… I enjoyed very much your endearing words about your grandfather. And it does seem quite prevelent that a great many of Native Americans drink heavily. Not as an excuse for drinking, but the Native American Culture has an amazing history to tell, that of being stripped of all that they held dear …….Mother Earth.

By Linda Clark on 07/18/2008 5:05 pm

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Hey! Hey Linda! Here is a smile for you! :) Serena, Linda is right we love reading you … and it is very sad about our Native Americans …. we took everything from them and gave them booze in return. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Serena. I love that name too!

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/18/2008 5:13 pm