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Edith Ann | 03/14/2008 2:31 pm

Life in the Little Lane: Edith Ann on the Falling Dollar

Mom and Dad were in the kitchen talking about the falling dollar and what it meant. Judging from their conversation, they didn’t know. Mom was having coffee and Dad was having — what else? A beer! I came in to make myself a snack.

My favorite snack is a graham cracker, spread with peanut butter, topped off with marshmallows and, then, toasted to a golden brown. It’s delicious. If you don’t burn the marshmallows.

We were out of marshmallows and graham crackers and it was that part of the recipe that I had a taste for. Mom would never be out of coffee and Dad would never be out of beer — yet, we’re almost always out of marshmallows. It’s a wonder I even know what they taste like.

When I stormed out of the kitchen, they were still talking about the falling dollar. Mom said she heard some rapper doing a music video had asked to be paid in euros. I went to watch CNN, and the tape at the bottom of the screen said Fifty Cent was selling his mansion and was asking 18 million — they didn’t say if it was euros or dollars he wanted, but it gave me an idea.

My allowance is fifty cents. Maybe if I asked to get paid in euros and could save up the difference between euros and dollars, I’d have enough to buy my own marshmallows.

The question is: Will I have to get Mom and Dad to raise my allowance to a dollar before this will work out?

36 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Melynda Jill  J.
The problem, Edith Ann, is that like oil, marshmallows are traded in dollars. As the value of the dollar falls, we must bid higher on marshmallow futures in order to obtain the same volume of marshmallow shipments. As marshmallow demand continues to increase due to the popularity of graham crackers - peanut butter treats, as well as that of ‘Smores, and the coming summer campfire marshmallow roasts, that upward pressure on price begins to squeeze our parent’s pocketbooks very hard. Yes, this will eventually also affect both beer and coffee prices, so rest assured, you wont be the only one suffering. Those of the right wing would like to tell us that it’s all based on “Supply & Demand,” however, that fantasy can be quickly shown as false when one looks at the supply of idiots in Washington vs the demand, yet they still cost us an increasingly larger friggin fortune every year. So, Edith Ann, lobby to have your marshmallow paid for in Euros.
By Melynda Jill J. on 03/17/2008 6:57 am
Deb K
Oh Edith Ann, thank you for giving us a delightful way to start the day! Your innocence and wit is what we need more of in this world. Ask for an increase in your allowance and then you wont have to worry about a shortage of marshmallows. Hang around - we need you around here :)
By Deb K on 03/17/2008 7:27 am
Meri Burton
Wow! I love this site. All these serious subjects! But right now I would like all these wonderful, older women to tell me what to do about BAGS under my eyes. All of you look wonderful. I have seen you on TV and none of you have BAGS under your eyes. What do you do to keep them away? Please tell me what I should do. I am 67 yrs old(soon to be 68), hispantic, widow,and in good health. In the last 9 months or so I have gotten bags under my eyes. No one in my family has bags under their eyes. I sometimes look in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person looking back at me. Women with bags under their eyes always look sooo old. Wrinkles don’t bother me. Please help with this minor,,,seemingly selfish problem. I can’t afford plastic surgery!!!
By Meri Burton on 03/17/2008 10:06 am
dr hoodia thinkiam
deer edit ann, i am only seven, so i kno what you r goin throo..i have to make sure you kno that if your mama is mad at your daddy, DONT LET HER BRUSH YOUR HAIR!..you cant hide broccli in your milk.. i think you shood hide the marsh mallow in your mamas purse..if she gts cauwt, she will be embarrsed and will have to pay for em, or..she will not kno and you can sneek them out of her purse later!
By dr hoodia thinkiam on 03/17/2008 12:16 pm
Charles Dance
Ask for a GOLD bar Edith Ann and we will think you very smart. TRUST ME.
By Charles Dance on 03/17/2008 8:52 pm
RuVi Schmodric
Edith Ann—The most amazing aspect of your disgruntlement is its reflection of life in the big lane—the shortage of good, healthy food for all our citizens, the disruption of innocent lives through another’s addictions, our failing economy, our fascination with celebrities and their private lives, the apparent omniscience of CNN, our constant struggle for financial independence, and, of course, the ever-present burden of negotiating with people in power. I know you were talking about the marshmallows, but we can all read between the lines, and you are one precocious little punk kid. Keep talking—we’re listening and learning.
By RuVi Schmodric on 03/19/2008 8:01 pm