Get Mad,this afternoon I got mad, at my husband,I have been the backbone,therapy and all, (which he never took) to tell him I am 52 and I take care of our family, even though as they are adults, I should not have to. I listened to my doctor, and then I yelled. We do not have to count to ten, or stop go. I have 5 grandkids of which we have to help with four of them because there mother is a older Brittany Spears…where did my golden years go?? Yelling helps sometimes, when I can escape and go down the road!

Dear Edith Ann - First of all, our family loves you so much, we once named a dog after you. Her full name was Edith Ann Murphy, and she was the offspring of a bassett hound and a poodle. She was a character, with the height and legs of a bassett, and a fuzzy, wiry coat. We loved her very much. But on the subject of tantrums, my little boy, then age 4, added kind of a new twist on these. He was playing with Mikey, the little boy next door. It was Mikey’s 4th birthday, and Mikey had just received a bright, shiny red pedal car. Apparently, Mikey wasn’t into sharing, and my son wasn’t happy with this. I was oblivious to what happened until my son came home bearing a hand-written note from Mikey’s mom. I knew I was in trouble when the note started out with, “Dear Mrs. P…..” (Mikey’s mom and I had been on a first-name basis for quite a while.) “Your son, Tommy, has just urinated all over Mikey. He urinated on Mikey’s hair, his jacket, and all over his sandwich! Tommy is no longer welcome here!” [Signed] “Mrs. A.” We didn’t send Tommy to the feelings doctor. We sat him down and had a little “chat” about how unacceptable this kind of behavior was - (all the while biting our cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.) Tommy grew up to be a nice man, father of four nice kids. The story is now one of our family legends - and as far as we know, Tommy never peed on anyone again. (*:*)

Well, maybe Tommy learned this behavior from his dog. Because dogs are so pissed off they go wet on EVERYTHING.

I think Dr. Lopez is great and so are you! Oh the things we learn!

The first time I got really angry face to face with someone was with my husband and it was liberating, not having been allowed to do this when I was growing up. I now allow my children to have tantrums and get angry to a certain extent so they then do not bottle it all up only to pay hideous amounts to unbottle it to a therapist later in life, although they probably will need this too and I am taking out a policy for this soon! Being allowed to be angry also obviously teaches children how to control their anger and manage it socially and in relationships and if they cannot be angry at home, frequently they will be angry outside the home where it is not so safe. At one point my daughter when she was about 8 years old was so obstructive, stroppy and generally difficult for everyone to be with that one day I gave her permission to be angry and to examine her feelings which she did in spectacular fashion, shouting and yelling about everything for what seemed like a long time but was probably only 10 minutes. I listened, did not interupt and did not get angry back. After this she was mostly calm and happy. Now she is 13 … !!!

One day when I was 9 years old, I had had it with my obnoxious neighbor, Kenny Spencer. So I pushed him to the ground, sat on top of him and punched him. I still remember the high I felt to finally get even with that jerk. Even his name is immortalized in my memory as the only person I ever beat up.

Zen is great! Inner peace! Tantrums can cause more problems in the long run, but I do not advocate stuffing in your emotions either. I am learning to not get upset. There is really very little in life that warrants anger anyway - life is too short. That doesn’t mean you don’t try to correct injustices.

Edith Ann, what a pleasure it was to see you here! How is your dog Buster? Maybe we can get together over some coffee ice cream.

Over a week ago, at the dinner table, both of my teenage daughters had a go at me, for all the things they are fed up with about me. (This had never happened before) It went on for about 20 minutes, and my husband was sitting next to me stunned. For a brief moment, I wanted to cry, but gathered myself to face it until the very end. When it finally did end, they started cracking jokes, gave me a hug and a kiss, and went on with their evening. For me it was a triumph!

Ahhh screw getting fed up with ourselves! So what? It’s just I feel a Dory Previn comin’ on…! Twenty-Mile Zone song lyrics Dory Previn Screamin’ at the night Screamin’ at the dark Screaming at fright I wasn’t doing nothin’ Just drivin’ about Screamin’ at the dark Lettin’ it out That’s all I was doing Just lettin’ it out Well along comes a motorcycle Very much to my surprise I said officer was I speeding I couldn’t see his eyes He said no you weren’t speeding And he felt where his gun was hung He said lady you were screamin’ At the top of your lung And you were Doin’ it along You were doin’ it alone You were screamin’ in your car In a twenty-mile zone You were doin’ it alone You were doin’ it alone You were screamin’ I said I’ll roll up all my windows Don’ wanna disturb the peace I’m just a creature Who is looking For a little release I said And what’s so wrong with screamin’ Don’t you do it at your games When the quarterback Breaks an elbow When the boxer beats and maims But you were Doin’ it alone You were doin’ it alone You were screamin’ in your car In a twenty-mile zone You were doin’ it alone You were doin’ it alone You were screaming I said animals roar When they feel like Why can’t we do that too Instead of screaming Banzai baby In the war in the human zoo He said I got to take you in now Follow me right behind And let’s have no more screamin’ Like you’re out of your mind So he climbed aboard his cycle And his red-eyed headlight beamed And his motor started spinning And his siren screamed He was doin’ it alone He was doin’ it alone He was screamin’ on his bike In a twenty-mile zone He was doin’ it alone He was doin’ it alone He was screaming I was doin’ it alone I was doin’ it alone I was screamin’ in my car In a twenty-mile zone I was doin’ it alone I was doin’ it alone I was screaming We were doing it together We were doing it together We were screamin’ at the dark In a twenty-mile zone We were doin’ it together We were doin’ it together We were screaming We were doin’ it together We were doin’ it Together Alone In a twenty-mile zone

I never throw a tantrum. I’ve always been a sea of calm. My Mom called me her “good little girl who always smiles”. Three years ago I got so sick I couldn’t get out of bed anymore. I had to stop working and doing all the fun things I used to do like riding my bike, skiing, and socializing. But I never throw a tantrum. I’ve exhausted my search with western medicine and have begun to dip into “alternative” solutions, but there is no cure for Chronic Fatigue and Immunodeficiency Syndrome” (CFIDS), and add to that Fibromyalgia and chronic migraines. Sometimes I lose days in a row because I have a 30+ hour deilitating migraine or I’m just too exhausted to move, but I never throw a tantrum. I try my best to balance my activities and my diet, drink lots of water, do yoga, meditate, practice Reiki, get regular chiropractics, acupuncture, and massage and take my vitamins, but I never throw a tantrum. Sometimes I have to cancel my plans because I am sick because the day before I went for groceries, did laundry, and cooked dinner, but I never throw a tantrum. I have a degree in psychology with a minor in American Sign Language and a Master’s degree in Communication Disorders specializing in Audiology. I practiced that for 9 years before I tried my hand in the pharmaceutical industry. Now I am unable to use my education or earn a living, and I have to depend financially on my husband, but I never throw a tantrum. Over the last two years I have learned to oil paint and play the ukulele, which I do whenever I am not sick. I occasionally take an art course and hope that I can get out of bed and not have a migraine so I can go to class, but I never throw a tantrum. Instead I hold my head up, help others as much as possible, and show my gratitude for all the wonderful things I DO have. I know that’s the right thing to do. Recently I cried out loud to my husband that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. The tears were coming in buckets as I blurted out that I didn’t sign up for this and I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Between gasps I asked him if he thinks I will ever be well again. Of course he didn’t have an answer. Was that a tantrum?