Edith Ann | 09/23/2008 2:30 pm
Life In the Little Lane: Edith Ann Is Looking for Another Line of Work

As a recent member of the human race, I must say I am fed up with a lot of what I see happening with politicians in politics. I have to say I don’t like the way either side is running their campaign. And, as an investigative reporter for my school paper, I don’t like the way some of the members of the press report lies in place of news. As a child, I think I am qualified to say that everyone is acting childish. Also, I don’t like that they are making fun of pigs. I love the way pigs look – without makeup of any kind.
I must admit, like many politicians, I sometimes lie – I’ve told some whoppers. But I always get punished when I lie. How come politicians don’t get punished like I do? Their lies are even bigger than mine. And they are told to many more people. When I lie, it’s just to a handful of people – my parents, my sister, one teacher and a very, very small group of friends.
Not long ago, I was pretty sure I wanted to be president when I grew up. Not because I had already read My Pet Goat but because I have some good ideas on how to reduce my carbon footprint and make the world a better place – but, at this point, I don’t think I want to be president. President Bush took us to war and we have been in Iraq most of my entire life. And I sure don’t want to be vice president, I know that! Vice President Cheney shot someone in the face and Sarah Palin who wants to replace Mr. Cheney as vice president likes to shoot animals from airplanes. And she wants to drill, drill, drill everywhere for oil. Is this why she’d be a good replacement for Mr. Cheney?
So, anyway, I have decided to rethink my career plans. I don’t think I would make a good president or vice president. I don’t like war or shooting people in the face or shooting poor, defenseless animals from airplanes. This, to me, is worse than Hubby, our school bully, killing poor ants in the hot sun with a magnifying glass.
I have to face the fact I will just have to look for another line of work.
Maybe I could be a scientist. I read that scientists just did an experiment to find out the truth about the origin of the universe. Of course, this important experiment most likely got done because a group of politicians OK’d the money for this project — which, I guess, is about as close to the truth as most politicians will ever come. Sad to say, this great experiment did not happen in America – it took place in a collider or something on the Swiss/French border where I guess they are more interested in discovering the truth about the origin of the universe than about what Senator Obama meant when he said "putting lipstick on a pig."
This scientific project, if you ask me, is the exact opposite of when Congress gave money for the "Bridge to Nowhere." In science class, there is this quote: “Science is truth found out.” I never have figured out what that means. So, now that I think of it, I guess I would not make a good scientist. I know this — when I get old enough to vote, I will vote for the type of politicians who help scientists discover the truth. I will not vote for the type of politicians who cover it up. And that’s the truth.
I must admit, like many politicians, I sometimes lie – I’ve told some whoppers. But I always get punished when I lie. How come politicians don’t get punished like I do? Their lies are even bigger than mine. And they are told to many more people. When I lie, it’s just to a handful of people – my parents, my sister, one teacher and a very, very small group of friends.
Not long ago, I was pretty sure I wanted to be president when I grew up. Not because I had already read My Pet Goat but because I have some good ideas on how to reduce my carbon footprint and make the world a better place – but, at this point, I don’t think I want to be president. President Bush took us to war and we have been in Iraq most of my entire life. And I sure don’t want to be vice president, I know that! Vice President Cheney shot someone in the face and Sarah Palin who wants to replace Mr. Cheney as vice president likes to shoot animals from airplanes. And she wants to drill, drill, drill everywhere for oil. Is this why she’d be a good replacement for Mr. Cheney?
So, anyway, I have decided to rethink my career plans. I don’t think I would make a good president or vice president. I don’t like war or shooting people in the face or shooting poor, defenseless animals from airplanes. This, to me, is worse than Hubby, our school bully, killing poor ants in the hot sun with a magnifying glass.
I have to face the fact I will just have to look for another line of work.
Maybe I could be a scientist. I read that scientists just did an experiment to find out the truth about the origin of the universe. Of course, this important experiment most likely got done because a group of politicians OK’d the money for this project — which, I guess, is about as close to the truth as most politicians will ever come. Sad to say, this great experiment did not happen in America – it took place in a collider or something on the Swiss/French border where I guess they are more interested in discovering the truth about the origin of the universe than about what Senator Obama meant when he said "putting lipstick on a pig."
This scientific project, if you ask me, is the exact opposite of when Congress gave money for the "Bridge to Nowhere." In science class, there is this quote: “Science is truth found out.” I never have figured out what that means. So, now that I think of it, I guess I would not make a good scientist. I know this — when I get old enough to vote, I will vote for the type of politicians who help scientists discover the truth. I will not vote for the type of politicians who cover it up. And that’s the truth.























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