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Lily Tomlin | 07/30/2008 9:25 am

Lily on the Tony Experience

Lily Tomlin

Editor’s Note: Lily Tomlin presented at the 2008 Tony Awards on June 15th and brought wOw along for the ride. Click here to take a look. The following post is Lily’s response to some of the questions about the Tony experience that came in from the wowOwow community.

I thought I’d sent this sooner and just now ran across it on my desktop. Thanks to Serena and everyone who has written about the Tonys. Sometimes it is weird to have people calling your name, but here’s a tip: The people calling out, in my case, are usually photographers trying to get me to look their way so they can do their job and make a buck. So hearing your name called out by a gang of people is seldom abject adoration except in the cases of Madonna or Kathy Griffin. BUT after so many years, it seems to me that fans and people in the streets who wave or say "Hi" are like your neighbors or some extended family. And it’s the same with other actors.

I wanted and still want to show all of you what's remarkable or funny or tender or vain or foolish or noble about all of us ...

The nature of what an actor does or wants to do connects us to the audience and to each other. I remember the first time I went to the Golden Globes and there were so many stars there from so many decades and I felt a familial connection sweep over me. I felt the event was some kind of family reunion and you knew some of your relatives better than others or you felt closer and more identified with some than with others but they were all your "blood."

I saw Eileen Heckart in the lobby and I have never forgotten her performance in "The Bad Seed" when I was 16, and I was enamored of the reactions she evoked in me; that may have been one of the moments when I was inspired to one day make that kind of connection with an audience, to transport and to be transported. And Eileen was growing older then and, for me, imbued with such artistry and depth of pain and "knowing" and I had just become popular from "Laugh-In" and, yet, I wanted to sense my own future in her — the artist. But I confess I was nothing if not eclectic in my taste.

That night, I also ran across the floor of the ballroom to find Dorothy Malone because, in my teen years, Malone was the sexy bad girl ("Written on the Wind"). I wanted that role, too. And that role and that role. I wanted and still want to show all of you what’s remarkable or funny or tender or vain or foolish or noble about all of us — and to feel that connection, that validation of how much I am like you. How much we are alike. And to capture the fragility within each of us.

64 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Linda Clark
Lily …… “Classic and Real”, that is what I see in your performances, your humor, and yes, even your real life stuff. It’s all substance, and that’s truly rare!
By Linda Clark on 07/30/2008 12:28 pm
Josie Sullivan
oh and Lily, you do transport and are transported as you put it. “The Bad Seed” affected me as well but for probably other reasons. It scared the pee out of me.
By Josie Sullivan on 07/30/2008 12:35 pm
Serena .
Okay Josie, that is the second time in this blog that you’ve mentioned pee. Are you having issues today? ROFLMAO
By Serena . on 07/30/2008 12:43 pm
Josie Sullivan
Serena- Tee Hee…or shall I say Tee Tee
By Josie Sullivan on 07/30/2008 2:50 pm
Serena .
AHHHHHH!! HAHAHA!!! Too damn funny.
By Serena . on 07/30/2008 4:59 pm
Peggy Newton
Lily, You brought up something my sister and I talk about all the time—about movie stars and celebrities, especially those from our younger years who have stood the test of time. In most cases we’ve never met them and know them only from performances on TV, movies or the stage, but we come to feel as though we know them. When the older ones pass away, we feel as though we’ve lost a member of our own family even though, as my dear sister would say, they wouldn’t know us from a hole in the ground. I don’t understand a lot of “entertainment” today, but I suppose if it connects with the kids in a positive way, it’s okay. Acting and entertaining, and writing as well, depend on connecting with the audience. If you as a performer connect with your audience, you’ve done your job. It’s a bonus that a performer connects on a personal basis, as you did with the lady in the wheelchair. In this challenging world we need more people like you and Jane and Liz and Candice and the rest of WowOWow to guide us, entertain us, inspire us, and share with us. You’re doing the job, and continue to keep up with the good work. The fact that readers can be part of this great forum is the bonus. And, BTW, I thought the Fourth of July piece was the funniest thing I’ve read all summer, mostly because it rings of truth.
By Peggy Newton on 07/30/2008 1:06 pm
Frannie Em
Ms Lily, Thanks for the great expression of what your art is about. I can’t remember who or when, but it was a discussion of poetry, and someone drew a circle on a black board and then put a dot in the center. It wasn’t a large circle or large dot. Then they said the desire of the poet is to make the distance from the center, (dot) which represents themselves, to the edge of the circle, which represented others. What you wrote reminded me of that. I guess it is one of the goals of an artist to shorten that distance between themselves and others, and you and Jane have certainly succeeded. But I also believe it is a rare talent that expresses the validation of us, and not just themselves. Thank you for your work.
By Frannie Em on 07/30/2008 1:25 pm
Serena .
Dear Frannie Em: My, my, my … what wonderful feelings you have planted here and flowered into words. I love the analogy made between the poetry and the artist to the circle and the dot. That is TOO cool! Thank you for sharing that! What a visual. Someone could use that in such a beautiful way to teach kids about the wonderment that is poetry. … Anyway, I digress. As to your beautiful statement, “But I also believe it is a rare talent that expresses the validation of us, and not just themselves.” When I first read this, all I could think to myself was OMG! I have been talking with a friend recently about validation and all its various meanings—especially its “heart meaning” (not just mere head knowledge) to me. What can I say here without spilling too much of my guts? I have struggled a long time with many things, as many of you have—validating myself is one of my ghosts. Main Entry: val•i•date Function: transitive verb Inflected Form(s): val•i•dat•ed; val•i•dat•ing Date: 1648 2 b: to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/validating) ALL of my new friends at WoW (if I may be as bold to call you my friends, because it feels that way) have saved my life in ways you will never know. Validation is a funny thing. I’ve been told we must validate ourselves, the love comes from within, and yes, I believe that, I do. However, it is a hard thing to validate oneself when that “worthiness” has never been reflected back by someone in your formative years. Nevertheless, here is the thing—you ALL have helped me to begin to learn how to validate myself. I do not want to get all mushy here, but you are right about Lily. I see her life as truly blessed, and I believe this blessing comes from the fact that she gives not to get back, but she gives simply because she loves people. You can see this in the way she interacts (on stage and off). She does indeed “transport” us to other places and times and feelings, and I believe that once that connection is made with us, we also “transport” her. This is a lesson I wish I had learned long ago—the art of giving. Better late than never—thank you to ALL of you (especially Lily AND Jane) for being my teachers.
By Serena . on 07/30/2008 5:41 pm
Frannie Em
Serena, Gosh, thank you so much. I have to tell you that I always look forward to finding you on the Edith Ann threads. You add so much and are a big part of the success of these parties. (and tee tee Josie too) I understand what it is like not to get the validation in formative years. I was lucky, because later I got a second chance with a mother that recognized me for who I was, and validated that. I still had to get over the lack of validation, and it has been a long journey. When I heard love yourself, and love comes from within - it all sounded good and I knew it was true, but I didn’t know how to do it. I thought that if I kept learning about love and life I would be able to validate myself and love myself. It didn’t work, there was no ‘awakening’. Then with more reading etc, I realized it was a process. I was taught that one way to begin to love and validate others was to listen to them. I saw the responses and the appreciation, and thought there might be something there. So, I realized I had to go back and rescue myself from my past. When I was a little girl, no one listened to me. I had to find out what I most wanted validated when I was a child. Listen to the person I was back there that didn’t have anyone telling her she was special. I had to listen to that young little thing and reconnect. Tell her she was special. Then acknowledge to myself, that my feelings were right. I was given so many negatives as a kid and out of ignorance, I joined right in on the negativity. I agreed with the negativity about myself. I had to practice and get out of the habit of mentally beating myself up. It is like the effort it takes to learn a new language. I had to learn the language of validation. I still am. Serena, you are beautiful, and your feelings then and now are right. They are what are real about you and make you the special person that you are. I see and I hear and I appreciate your honesty. You have moved me deeply by what you said. You are a light. Remember, no matter what it looks like - the glass has something in it.
By Frannie Em on 07/31/2008 12:09 am
Serena .
Wow, what can I say to that other than, “Thank you, and thanks for being a friend.”
By Serena . on 07/31/2008 9:38 am
~ countrywoman ~
Dear Lily

You are a national treasure, and as you can tell from the way we seek you out and respond with sincere unguarded passion, we trust and cherish you. Please tell Edith Ann how deeply we appreciate that she provides us with an essential refuge and safe haven for the voice of the child within each of us…. we are humbly grateful! May you hold our unconditional love close to your heart, and feel forever nourished by it.

Wishing you +~~ always
Sherry
By ~ countrywoman ~ on 07/30/2008 4:19 pm
Serena .
Okay, now YOU have made me cry! … . Beautifully said countrywoman.
By Serena . on 07/30/2008 5:01 pm
Mugsy Peabody
To the Maestro, much love and gratitude. xo, mp
By Mugsy Peabody on 07/30/2008 5:23 pm
doll lady
****applause….applause….applause…..applause…..applause****** Lily the great one. You have made me laugh until I was holding the stitch in my side…..upon occasion you made me cry…..you made me stare as in disbelief…..you made me want to wrap my arms around you and just hold on. But you have never changed. You are Lily. The one so many love. You are someone who can take the unknown people in the world and make them your friends. Peace and Goodwill….doll
By doll lady on 07/30/2008 5:23 pm
shana (shey) loraine
Hi Lily, Thanks for your post. It was really refreshing to learn how you care about your fans/friends. I have met you twice within my 31 years of life and the last time was with my partner (now 6 years going strong!) talked to you at the Trevor Project back I want to say 2004 or 05? Rosie was to get an award and didn’t show up for it and I think you were there to present it. That was a big oops! It was Christmas and I remember driving back to Ridgecrest (2hrs away) thinking - God what a wonderful gift to meet my person of inspiration! Every time Carrie and I tell the story to our friends and family - that I turned white and completely froze in place the first time I saw you! (LOL) after that 15 seconds of standstill - we talked about the show, Carrie and I’s relationship (we only been together almost 2 years at that point), my attending at USC and our son Daniel (who is now 12) and of course my last name! For real, my last name is “Dyke” Born and raised I say! Going back and telling the story to our friends it’s amazing of the reactions that we get. We all are happy and laughing. I just hope someday, that gift will happen again. I just wanted to say that you have inspired me to live a good life, be positive and do the very best that I can with my art, work and in this case it would be graphical rather than stage. I did study 4 years of theater (1yr at USC) and learned a great deal but my true passion is my talent in art/computers. Anyways, This my chance to say thank you to you and also Jane whom I would love to meet also. It would be a wish come true! You are family! Oh, before I forget and this is really odd but today while cleaning up some old computer files, I ran into some drawings that I did back in early 2000. Three of those are some drawings that I did of you, Edith and Ernestine and other stuff. It was strange that these files were even on this computer and then later ran into this post. Is it a sign? LOL hell if I would know! If you got time, Take a peek here (it’s my personal server - customizeyourworld.net is my business name) http://www.customizeyourworld.net/sheysoldartfiles.html or you can look further down and I’ll post a small thumbnail (on the right replaced of my photo) of one of those drawings. Fate or not it’s there! Take care Lily!
By shana (shey) loraine on 07/30/2008 7:38 pm