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Liz Smith | 11/22/2008 5:00 am

The Biggest Turkey of Them All! by Liz Smith

Liz Smith
OK just let me fulminate here for a few minutes and then you can chime in and give your rebuttal. I don’t expect any applause.

I have given the governor of Alaska many breaks in the last few weeks, observing that she has, indeed, been somewhat a victim of her personal naivety as well as gender hatred (after all, she is an attractive young woman). I also predicted long ago that we weren’t done with her yet. With training, a study of economics and history, and some excellent tutors, I think she well may (will probably) come back to give us her exasperating and demanding personality again and long before 2012. 

But the Thanksgiving turkey pardon in Alaska and the ensuing violent bloody turkey killing mayhem going on behind her in her most recent video outing is beyond the beyond. I have never called her “stupid” as many have, but I’m beginning to wonder. How could she stand there talking of the beauty of small-business entrepreneurship and “having fun” while turkeys are being decapitated on camera right behind her and there is even a trough to catch the blood. This was so gruesome that every time it played, sensitive TV editors had blanked most of it out in case children were watching.

I think Gov. Palin may, indeed, have been done in by Thanksgiving, of all things! I can’t wait for her explanation after she has seen herself in this video.

Rosie O’Donnell and Barbara Walters are having at each other again in the tabloid prints. Even though they haven’t been associated via “The View” for over a year, they are still making hay with a public feud. I guess this is good for their separate TV and showbiz venues. But, it’s tiresome. One of them should have the sense to shut up and not answer back.

With Christmas looming, I’d like to say a word to the wOws. “Happy Holidays" is a weasly expression, a pathetic attempt at political correctness that destroys the joy and meaning of “Merry Christmas” – two of the best words in the English language.

You wouldn’t adopt a stupid substitute for “Happy Hanukkah!” destroying its meaning, so why pick on Christmas? I just flinch at “Happy Holidays" and the Hallmark obsequiousness of it all.

We are Christians, Jews, Catholics, Methodists, Baptists, Episcopalians, Mormons, Muslims, Buddhists, Scientologists, agnostics, atheists and the indifferent, but surely we all can salute “Merry Christmas” as a greeting, not “Happy” and not “Holidays.”

I can’t wait to hear from some of you. 

Click here on this text to read my New York Post column.

157 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Garden Goddess
Frankly, I am offended at Christmas and holiday wishes so early in the season and particularly before we have even celebrated Thanksgiving. I have long rued the fact that we set aside a national day on which to give thanks - how laudable! - and being the crass people we have become, we use it to stuff ourselves to excess and watch football. I’d like to know the statistics (or maybe I wouldn’t) of those people who give any thought whatsoever to real thankfulness, counting their blessings. Even under the extreme financial duress in which we find our country today, we still have much for which to be thankful and participating in that extraordinary exercise might actually restore something of substance to the following holiday as well, and I agree with Liz regarding the greeting. Lest I inveigh against political correctness and all that has been lost through an exercise that does not change thought, just speech, I will stop my fingers.
By Garden Goddess on 11/22/2008 6:44 am
Oh! My Favorite
I’m with you, G.G. America only has 2 national holidays and for too many years Thanksgiving has been diminished to a mere pale of the reason it was instituted. It HAS become a holiday only known for eating and watching TV (parades or football games) and it is overshadowed by commercials for the other abused holiday—Christmas (wherein no one is thankful for the so-called Savior of the World, rather the gifts under the tree)! I am thankful for each morning I awake. I am thankful for my sharp mind and fully functioning body. I am thankful for my child and other family members. I am thankful to have lived to see the day that America voted a Black person into the Presidency. I am thankful to celebrate Thanksgiving Day.
By Oh! My Favorite on 11/22/2008 3:28 pm
Jazzy JJ
Palin is amazing, she does not think before she acts, she does not realize that she is not in “Kansas anymore” what is typical in Alaska comes off being brutal, cruel and not acceptable. She has miles to go and much to learn. I agree about Merry Christmas, we have become overbearing with what is Politically correct, I think the word needs some good old fashioned horse since. If you are in Rome etc etc, however in our own little part of the world let’s get back to basic respect of each others beliefs.
By Jazzy JJ on 11/22/2008 7:07 am
g c
Jazzie, hey give us Kansans a break we have enough crack pots of our own, but our Gov. isn’t one of them, we have a really good , 2 term female dem Governor Kathleen Sebelius and I can not imagine her doing an interview like that in front of the turkeys being butchered, she has more common sense then that. We do have a once a year hunt that is a tradition that all Gov’s participate in but most of us couldn’t tell you if it was for pheasant, quail, duck or deer. We do have our share of hunters in Kansas though. I do agree though what is normal in Alaska may not seem that way for many of us in the lower 48.
By g c on 11/22/2008 10:36 am
Jazzy JJ
Hey GC, sorry, no offense, just thought that saying seems to sum it up where Palin in concerned, once you set foot center stage as she has done, you have to adjust the script! “Dorothy” even had the good sense to adjust and she did it quickly!
By Jazzy JJ on 11/22/2008 12:04 pm
g c
none taken, we are used to the wizard of oz references, just thought I would give you a little grief all in good fun. Seriously though there is the one about the man behind the curtain, follow the yellow brick road, there’s no place like home, click your heels 3 times ahhh the appeal of a ruby red slipper. That is a classic they just don’t make em like that anymore Auntie Em, give Toto a hug for us. Wonder if Sarah Palin repeated the there’s no place like home mantra while down here in the lower 48, you would think there might have been moments. some of us might have envisioned her as a different character then Dorothy or Glenda the Good, I will leave that to others interpretation, because the munchkins and I are off to see the Wizard.
By g c on 11/22/2008 1:19 pm
Ms. Dee
Palin, no doubt, has winged monkeys still circling the lower 48.
By Ms. Dee on 11/22/2008 5:24 pm
g c
Yes Ms. Dee, I too thought of the winged monkeys, the image is priceless, I can see it now.
By g c on 11/22/2008 6:11 pm
DeBúrca obj
I lived in Ireland with my daughter when she was 13, for a year. And everytime we would come across something about the country which was very different than the US…. scenery, a statue of the Virgin Mary sitting on the roadside in the middle of nowhere, a funny local saying, curry chips, anything peculiar to Ireland and different than what we were used to… we would look at each other and say, “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
By DeBúrca obj on 11/23/2008 9:53 pm
g c
DeBurca, Its kind of interesting how a movie can in some ways become so identifiable with a state like the Wizard when I was younger it was a little annoying but as the years have gone by I increasingly see it has a greater meaning to many because they love the movie. We have several towns that had some filming in their town. One is Liberal in the southwest corner and the other is Wamego, they have a yearly festival and some of the munchkins come back and I guess some of them are prima donnas and don’t get along with some of the others even though they are advanced in age. For some reason I think that is kind of funny.
By g c on 11/24/2008 4:30 pm
DeBúrca obj
I can only speak for myself, but when people say “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.” I don’t think they’re even thinking of the actual “Kansas”, it has just come to mean “home” or the place we come from, the place we’re used to. I mean, my daughter and I are from Chicago, but in all the times we made that statement, I don’t think we ever really thought about the place “Kansas”, it has just become a metaphor for home sweet home.
By DeBúrca obj on 11/24/2008 8:25 pm
g c
Funny how some things permeate our pop culture and take on a life of their own just like that saying.
By g c on 11/25/2008 8:00 am
DeBúrca obj
Very true! I wonder how long that saying will stick around. Eventually people won’t watch that movie the way they used to, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the saying sticks around longer than the popularity of The Wizard of Oz.
By DeBúrca obj on 11/25/2008 10:52 am
Mugsy Peabody
Not to mention one of the rare sane republican senators, also a woman…..
By Mugsy Peabody on 11/24/2008 9:38 pm
J B
Palin is not worth commenting on. I say “Merry Christmas” when it is actually the Christmas season…never before Thanksgiving…and I am deeply annoyed to see the Christmas decorations etc. hitting the store shelves before Halloween!
By J B on 11/22/2008 8:06 am