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Liz Smith | 11/22/2008 5:00 am

The Biggest Turkey of Them All! by Liz Smith

Liz Smith
OK just let me fulminate here for a few minutes and then you can chime in and give your rebuttal. I don’t expect any applause.

I have given the governor of Alaska many breaks in the last few weeks, observing that she has, indeed, been somewhat a victim of her personal naivety as well as gender hatred (after all, she is an attractive young woman). I also predicted long ago that we weren’t done with her yet. With training, a study of economics and history, and some excellent tutors, I think she well may (will probably) come back to give us her exasperating and demanding personality again and long before 2012. 

But the Thanksgiving turkey pardon in Alaska and the ensuing violent bloody turkey killing mayhem going on behind her in her most recent video outing is beyond the beyond. I have never called her “stupid” as many have, but I’m beginning to wonder. How could she stand there talking of the beauty of small-business entrepreneurship and “having fun” while turkeys are being decapitated on camera right behind her and there is even a trough to catch the blood. This was so gruesome that every time it played, sensitive TV editors had blanked most of it out in case children were watching.

I think Gov. Palin may, indeed, have been done in by Thanksgiving, of all things! I can’t wait for her explanation after she has seen herself in this video.

Rosie O’Donnell and Barbara Walters are having at each other again in the tabloid prints. Even though they haven’t been associated via “The View” for over a year, they are still making hay with a public feud. I guess this is good for their separate TV and showbiz venues. But, it’s tiresome. One of them should have the sense to shut up and not answer back.

With Christmas looming, I’d like to say a word to the wOws. “Happy Holidays" is a weasly expression, a pathetic attempt at political correctness that destroys the joy and meaning of “Merry Christmas” – two of the best words in the English language.

You wouldn’t adopt a stupid substitute for “Happy Hanukkah!” destroying its meaning, so why pick on Christmas? I just flinch at “Happy Holidays" and the Hallmark obsequiousness of it all.

We are Christians, Jews, Catholics, Methodists, Baptists, Episcopalians, Mormons, Muslims, Buddhists, Scientologists, agnostics, atheists and the indifferent, but surely we all can salute “Merry Christmas” as a greeting, not “Happy” and not “Holidays.”

I can’t wait to hear from some of you. 

Click here on this text to read my New York Post column.

157 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Kryssi K
I have always said and will continue to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS because, knowing that not everyone celebrates Christmas and/or is Christian, it is inclusive. There are also multiple HOLIDAYS going on simultaneously, so why wouldn’t Happy Holidays be acceptable? I, for one, am nauseated by the rabid, oppressive, manipulative Christianity in this country. So..I call it “conscientious”, not “politically correct”. Barbara and Rosie need to grow up, although it’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that Barbara is just as vindictive and childish. She made her (half-assedly) veiled remark to Rosie on-air the other day (I was only watching because Lily appeared in that episode) in such a way…it’s as though she is PROUDLY pursuing perpetual DRAMA for the sake of RATINGS. Disgusting. And unfortunate. What happened to Barbara? She is so ironically unprofessional these days. She couldn’t even look John McCain in the eyes (or, ya know, the general FACIAL area, at least) when she questioned him; that whole interview made ME uncomfortable and I can’t even STAND the man myself!
By Kryssi K on 11/22/2008 5:33 pm
Kryssi K
And bless Whoopi for having the sense and decency to stay out of that mess. She appears to be the only ADULT on that show anymore. Sometimes I wonder why……ah, nevermind.
By Kryssi K on 11/22/2008 5:38 pm
Belinda Joy
Liz, I’m shocked at your strong opinions against the term Happy Holidays. Let’s look at it this way, say I am a Muslim woman, standing before you in my burkah, it is December 24, 2008. Would you really look me in the eye and say “Merry Christmas!” ? If you knew I was Jewish, or Hindu or Buddhist? My thought process on this subject has always been, if you know you are speaking to a fellow Christian, by all means (and please do) say Merry Christmas. But in those generic social situations where you don’t know a person’s religious leanings, you shouldn’t impose your religious belief and celebration off on them. This is not a situation such as St. Patrick’s day when everyone wishes everyone “Happy St. Patty’s day!” without any regard to race, religion or ethnicity. Christmas is purely religion to the core, and to acknowledge it by way of wishing someone Merry Christmas has a deep meaning if you are indeed a Christian. It is a way for us to connect with fellow believers and bond, if only for a second, and remind another of our sacred time of worship and honor to our Lord. Why would or should we as Christians impose all of this off on those who do not believe as we do? Happy Holidays is simply a way of acknowledging all beliefs, no more and no less. I believe too many people have turned this very apropos example of political correctness (there are so few) into a something that is bigger than is needed.
By Belinda Joy on 11/22/2008 5:47 pm
Kryssi K
My thought process on this subject has always been, if you know you are speaking to a fellow Christian, by all means (and please do) say Merry Christmas. But in those generic social situations where you don’t know a person’s religious leanings, you shouldn’t impose your religious belief and celebration off on them.” Belinda, I could not have said it better myself!
By Kryssi K on 11/22/2008 7:01 pm
Rita@ Goldivas
A friend of mine has a button that says, “How dare you presume I’m Christian?” I think it is presumptuous to say “Merry Christmas” when you don’t know the person’s religios beliefs.
By Rita@ Goldivas on 11/23/2008 2:52 pm
Delete This
Rita—I was raised a Catholic, attended Catholic schools as did my son through grad school, and the nut-fringe of the Christian Right have turned me so off on all of that….I never say Merry Christmas anymore. We have simple dinner…..I usually do go to one of the California Missions for midnight mass….just for the beautiful setting/music. But I am no longer any religion….polythesic like the ancients. So Happy Gods and Goddesses Day to me!
By Delete This on 11/23/2008 11:53 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
There is much in the Koran–––notably its graphic hell scenes and emphasis on Godly Judgment––that, though off-putting to many modern Western readers, would have been quite familiar to Monks and Desert Fathers in the Middle Ages. Today many in this country and in Europe view Islam as a religion very different from and indeed hostile to Christianity. Yet in their roots the two are closely connected, the former growing directly out of the latter and still, to this day, embodying many early Christian practices lost in Christianity’s modern Western incarnation.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 11/22/2008 6:11 pm
Agyness O
Merry Christmas, Liz, and let’s all enjoy this wonderful season and help maintain all of our separate traditions. I appreciate all of your words in this column about being too politically correct when it invades commonsense, the butcher of Alaska that has gone WAY beyond the pale, and celebities like Barbara and Rosie, and many others for that matter, to grow up and get over it because we don’t care if their “inner child” is unable to deal with real life. I thank you for just being you and calling a spade a spade when you see it! You are a favorite of mine and many cheers to you……………………………..
By Agyness O on 11/22/2008 6:12 pm
Maizie James
For twenty-plus years, my ‘Christmas cards’ begin with the greeting, “HAPPY HOLIDAYS”. The reason is, I have too many ‘friends’ who are non-Christian - Muslims, Hindus, Jews, and Agnostics. I send my greeting cards out after Thanksgiving, which includes a newsletter about family events, which occurred that year. The inclusion of the family newsletter is a tradition, which many friends also share. With the ability to embed pictures and lovely graphics, the newsletters are a welcome treat to send and receive. It’s a great way to stay in touch with friends, relatives, and acquaintances, whom I don’t normally talk to often. Like many of you, I don’t like the rush or the bustle of the Christmas season. It comes far too early. And, I especially hate the commercialization of what is suppose to be a ‘religious’ high holy day. That said, I’ve never liked the Christian themed, or fantasy themed (Santa Clause, reindeer, snowmen, etc.), garish ornamentation which adorns homes and lawns in many neighborhoods. The excess is often too extreme. But, I concede that children really love the often outlandish decorations. And for this reason, I’ve been guilty of participating in the Christmas celebration hoopla (when my children were young), because I believe in allowing a young child to enjoy the world of fantasy during their innocence … even if it comes wrapped in gold paper with Gingle Bells, Santa with a beard, toy wooden soldiers, or … “a partridge in a pear tree.”
By Maizie James on 11/22/2008 6:27 pm
Lou Hoover
I *really* am not trying to be tacky, but surely I am not the only person who has noticed how much less impressive Gov Palin seems in her own clothes. I have always thought packaging is important, but this is just amazing to me. I never thought she was bright or anything besides a lame attempt to garner the vote of the Republican base, but I really do see why they (?????) bought her some nice clothes. Of course it goes without saying….. I am not sure what is appropriate dress for poultry slaughter.
By Lou Hoover on 11/22/2008 7:14 pm
Belinda Joy
Of course it goes without saying….. I am not sure what is appropriate dress for poultry slaughter.” Lou you are hilarious!
By Belinda Joy on 11/22/2008 8:16 pm
Delete This
Lou!! Too funny. Yes, Neiman’s and Sak’s are behind the curve on Poultry Execution Garb. Sarah, look! So perfect for you! http://black-chapter.com/rankandfile/dark/images/Frank_frazetta_executio…
By Delete This on 11/23/2008 11:58 pm
Dona Howlett
Lou, Yes, I too wonder what’s the appropriate attire for Poultry Slaughter! I love your humor………..
By Dona Howlett on 11/24/2008 1:00 am
lynn burghoff
Yes, Palin is stupid. She wants to hunt and kill animals but wants to save the lives of unborn babies. Now that is Stupid.
By lynn burghoff on 11/22/2008 8:29 pm
DeBúrca obj
No, not save the lives of “unborn babies”. She wants to take choice away from American women.
By DeBúrca obj on 11/23/2008 10:02 pm