“When I was growing up and going to movies, I took my standards of behavior from the men I saw onscreen — Spencer Tracy and Clark Gable and James Stewart. They acted like gentlemen. And though some people might not like everything about me, I believe I absorbed my days and nights watching movies, and grew up to be, you know, kind of a gentleman.”

That’s actor Gerald McRaney, digging into a big steak at Sardi’s after a matinee performance of the Broadway revival of Horton Foote’s charming and surprisingly relevant play “Dividing the Estate.” (It stars Elizabeth Ashley, who has lost none of her ability to dominate a stage even when sitting still, and silent — though she is rarely silent!)

McRaney makes the statement almost a question, as if he’s not sure we’ll think he is a gentleman. But he most assuredly is. About 15 years ago, I interviewed Mac and his divine wife Delta Burke together. I had rarely seen a more compatible, funny and loving couple. He was charming then, and he hasn’t lost an ounce of it. (He is Mississippi-born, after all. Southerners are like oil wells that never run dry.) He is a youthful-looking 61, with teenage grandchildren. We had been talking about a general lack of civility and personal modesty and privacy that has affected so many — the result of instant, often pointless, communication and (we both agreed) the coarse effects of reality TV. An entire generation has grown up thinking that exhibitionism and rude behavior is normal. Mac said, “But, of course, we can’t tar everybody with the same feather. There are lots of people who raise their families with standards, who read and control television watching and encourage a sense of self-esteem.” He added, with a laugh, and not just in the South. Plenty of terrific people in the East!” 

McRaney is famously conservative, but he seems to be the ideal example of somebody who you might not agree with on principle, but who doesn’t seem contemptuous of more liberal viewpoints. He has his and you have yours — there is still common ground. Speaking of the recent election, he said, “Well, clearly my guy didn’t win. But Barack Obama is the president. And we kind of have to take a deep breath, and accept this is where we are and hope for the best — work for best. I think beating him up already is pointless.

“You know, there’s a great story about George Bush, the elder, greeting Bill Clinton during the transition, and Clinton said, ‘Well, what will surprise me most?’ And Bush said, ‘How little power you have!’ And that’s what most people, on both sides don’t quite understand. There is a lot that’s out of the president’s hands.” 

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Gerald McRaney began in the theater, way back. But as it does for many actors, the lure of Hollywood beckoned. "Also, I was married and had kids. You can be a noble starving artist on your own, but not with a family. So I went to L.A. and basically drove a cab for four years. But I gradually built a little résumé with low-budget movies and TV bits. Then along came ‘Simon and Simon’ and that changed everything.”

The popular detective series co-starred Jameson Parker and ran for eight seasons. Gerald remembers, “The creator of the show was Philip DeGuere. He was great. And right off he came to me and Jameson and said, ‘Look, this thing is going to be a hit, and eventually I’m going to ask for more money, and they won’t give it to me, and I’ll leave. But I want you boys in on everything, because you’ll know what you’re doing, once I’m gone.’ I thought that was so generous. And it turned out to be true, and all that experience helped me a lot with my next series, ‘Major Dad,’ which I executive-produced.

“Major Dad” had a particular meaning for Gerald. “You know, after the Vietnam War, we had all the crazy vets on TV and movies. Or, Rambo supermen types. But most military men I know, are, you know, just men. Guys who are in the military. Normal men. I wanted to show that. And I deliberately made my wife in the series a liberal. I wanted that conflict, and I wanted to show that both sides could exist without killing each other.”