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Liz Smith | 07/25/2008 1:44 pm

Marilyn Monroe -- The Way She (Really) Was

Parade Magazine

Editor’s Note: The following story is reprinted by permission of Parade Magazine, and appears in their Sunday, July 27th issue.

 

“I’m trying to find myself as a person. Sometimes that’s not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do. The best way for me to find myself as a person is to prove to myself that I am an actress.”


That was Marilyn Monroe, in 1955, the year of her great rebellion against Hollywood.


Monroe died on a warm California night on August 4th, 1962. She had finally succumbed to the barbiturates she had used all of her adult life to control chronic insomnia and excruciating menstrual pain—she would crumple to the floor in agony at the onset of her period. And yes, she had finally succumbed to her emotional pain. I don’t believe Marilyn “planned” to die; it simply happened to her that night—one unusually unhappy night. (And, if we are to believe her hand was on the telephone when her body was found, it is likely she changed her mind.)


Almost fifty years after her death, Marilyn’s hold on the collective imagination is stronger than it was even during her short life—as I write this we are coming off a hoax about a Marilyn “sex tape” and the reality of wonderful, newly found footage of her from the set of “The Misfits.” (She looks surprisingly robust and radiant for a woman having a breakdown and on the brink of a heartbreaking divorce.) As the anniversary of her death approaches, there are bound to be TV specials, news reports and feature articles on this “ultimate sex-symbol.” And the word that will be used most is… “tragic.” Her tragic childhood, her tragic life, her tragic death. Her beauty and poignancy will be noted. Her love affairs, real and rumored, will be rolled out. Few will remember the Marilyn of 1955. Well, I prefer that empowered woman.

Read more about: Liz Smith, Marilyn Monroe

47 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

James the Game
A poignant reminder of precious - and fragile - life is.
By James the Game on 07/26/2008 9:04 am
Rho
I adored Marilyn — I remember the day she died, I was at a resort in the White Mountains — I was so heartbroken. I have never fogiven Joe DiMaggio — who did he think he married? He married Marilyn Monroe — not just anyone. Thank you for this piece.
By Rho on 07/26/2008 9:12 am
maria mercer
I read your article and I am soo grateful it is the first time I hear something positive about Marilyn Monroe,all the time I read about her was the DUMB BLOND ,I always say she was special ,she was a lost soul,with so many tragedies in her life not one understand her the pain she had inside ,and despise of her tumultous life she was always trying to make it better .Thanks Liz I never know of this site I wil enjoy it again .The article about her is beautiful and I thank you, and I know she is thanking you too .Good job Liz..Maria 07-26-08
By maria mercer on 07/27/2008 10:55 pm
Yvonne Faye
Thanks Liz. I too love Marilyn. My bathroom is decorated with Marilyn Monroe plates……calendar and an 8x10 picture of her that I purchased at a antique show. Lots of us were mixed up as young women….at least I was….but I didn’t have everything I did on the headlines of the morning paper. (Thank goodness) I think she is a beautiful angel in heaven.
By Yvonne Faye on 07/26/2008 12:12 pm
Jozie Lee
Marilyn Monroe, what a role model. She let nothing stop her from pursuing her dreams. How ironic that as we celebrate Marilyn’s life we bid farewell to Professor Randy Pausch, whose Carnegie Mellon’s Last Lecture spoke to Living Your Childhood Dreams. He died of pancreatic cancer on Friday, July 25th. Monroe and Pausch both left us with pointers, guidelines on how to live life to its fullest. May they rest in peace.
By Jozie Lee on 07/26/2008 12:40 pm
kim speight
who is Professor Randy Pausch and do you have a link to the lecture you refer to? Thanks Jozie
By kim speight on 07/26/2008 6:47 pm
Frank Peterson
By Frank Peterson on 07/26/2008 9:01 pm
Charles Dance
Did I read a really strange book about her by Joyce Carol Oates?
By Charles Dance on 07/26/2008 7:00 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
Yes, Charles, it was called “Blondie”–––there is a plethoria of books about Marilyn Monroe. The one that is most interesting is by her third husband, Arthur Miller, the playwright, who also did a play based on her. As a young girl I was embarrassed by her––thought she was phony, overwrought, a terrible actress; felt she was portraying a type of woman that was demeaning to women. Later in life I began to see her in a different light and if anything I pitied her. Her performance in “Some Like it Hot” was perfect. Her last performance in “The Misfits” written by Miller, pinpointed her to a T––a film that almost breaks your heart. Marilyn, I think, was doomed. She had too many demons that in the end just ate her up. One of her lines in “All About Eve”, “Why are they always like nappy rabbits?” referring to producers and directors, seems to sum up many of her male relationships. Such a sad little girl inside that beautiful body.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/27/2008 10:36 am
Frannie Em
Liz, What a great and well written piece. I was sorry when it ended. I especially appreciated your witty and astute observation of Marilyn “attempting to explain sex and sensibility.” It seems as if she understood it, and sadly others did not. The public will believe what it wants to . I was at a party last week and they had Some Like It Hot playing against a huge backdrop. Couldn’t hear the dialog, but every time Marilyn was in a scene, it was marvelous. I didn’t miss the dialog at all. Thanks for the peek. I wish she was here today and we were able to see what she would have developed into.
By Frannie Em on 07/26/2008 7:16 pm
Maurine H
Captivating, Liz. You write with such empathy for this much misunderstood actress. I always saw Marilyn as betrayed by the men who were closest to her and didn’t realize that she had so much mettle. It took courage for her to defy the studios which excercised so much control over their stars, and even more courage for Marilyn to have take charge of her own production company. I’m sure she was all the things you describe - tormented, insecure, determined, but I believe that she was one of Hollywood’s most intelligent actresses…articulate despite having a meager education and wise beyond her years.
By Maurine H on 07/26/2008 10:14 pm
Charles Casillo
As a long time Marilyn Monroe fan I am so pleased to see this piece. It brings Marilyn back to life as the real struggling, working, beautiful, ambitious, canny, uncertain, striving woman that she was. It was because of her fascinating contradictions and complications that we are still endlessly intrigued with her today. That’s why this piece is extraordinary—celebrating her strong points while acknowledging her weaknesses. It doesn’t try to typecast her into a few mythical cliche’s (helpless victim, drug-addled mess, dim-witted baby doll, neurotic nut) The trend in journalism regarding Monroe in the past decade or so has been to sensationalize every aspect of her life, and—take this complex, talented, endlessly interesting life, and paint it with a few crude salacious rumors and gossip—in hopes of coming up with a new slant. Through the years we can always count on Liz Smith’s column to cut through the bull and give the public a Marilyn reality-check. It’s so refreshing and marvelous to see MM portrayed as the extraordinary woman she was. Let’s face it—she was only on the planet for 36 short years and she left an amazing body of work which is still touching and inspiring people today. Kudos to a marvelous piece of writing…worthy of the subject. Thank you!
By Charles Casillo on 07/27/2008 1:29 am
Gretchen Perkins
I realize that Marilyn Monroe was known for her beauty, acting, and love affairs, but it has been 50 years! I think it is time to let her go and time to gain knowledge from women of our time because times have changed. I appreciate finding “lost” information and new films, but hey, why not concentrate on the robust personality and put the sadness to rest?
By Gretchen Perkins on 07/27/2008 2:56 am
Don Larsen
I can’t see faulting Joe DiMaggio for her demise.
By Don Larsen on 07/27/2008 6:10 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe
I agree, Don. Her persona with Joe was I’m-happy-in-the kitchen-cooking- kind of gal. When the two of them went to his Mother’s who was teaching Marilyn the art of Italian cooking she plunged right in,with apron and hot pads. And I think she sincerely thought this kind of life with Joe would work and I think he thought the same thing. Obviously, both were wrong.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/27/2008 10:46 am