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Liz Smith | 07/25/2008 1:44 pm

Marilyn Monroe -- The Way She (Really) Was

Parade Magazine

Editor’s Note: The following story is reprinted by permission of Parade Magazine, and appears in their Sunday, July 27th issue.

 

“I’m trying to find myself as a person. Sometimes that’s not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do. The best way for me to find myself as a person is to prove to myself that I am an actress.”


That was Marilyn Monroe, in 1955, the year of her great rebellion against Hollywood.


Monroe died on a warm California night on August 4th, 1962. She had finally succumbed to the barbiturates she had used all of her adult life to control chronic insomnia and excruciating menstrual pain—she would crumple to the floor in agony at the onset of her period. And yes, she had finally succumbed to her emotional pain. I don’t believe Marilyn “planned” to die; it simply happened to her that night—one unusually unhappy night. (And, if we are to believe her hand was on the telephone when her body was found, it is likely she changed her mind.)


Almost fifty years after her death, Marilyn’s hold on the collective imagination is stronger than it was even during her short life—as I write this we are coming off a hoax about a Marilyn “sex tape” and the reality of wonderful, newly found footage of her from the set of “The Misfits.” (She looks surprisingly robust and radiant for a woman having a breakdown and on the brink of a heartbreaking divorce.) As the anniversary of her death approaches, there are bound to be TV specials, news reports and feature articles on this “ultimate sex-symbol.” And the word that will be used most is… “tragic.” Her tragic childhood, her tragic life, her tragic death. Her beauty and poignancy will be noted. Her love affairs, real and rumored, will be rolled out. Few will remember the Marilyn of 1955. Well, I prefer that empowered woman.

Read more about: Liz Smith, Marilyn Monroe

47 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Abbie Hill
I got the paper this morning and the first thing that caught my eye was the cover of Parade. Then I saw Liz Smith wrote the cover story. To me, Liz is becoming as big a star as Marilyn Monroe. So, I log onto wowowow and find that there is more to this fabulous article that Parade did not print. Thanks so much. Liz offers me an antidote to the idea that Marilyn was lucky to have died while young and beautiful. The older Liz gets, the better she gets. Her message that Marilyn invented herself makes us wonder how she would have changed, had she lived to be an older woman. Maybe she would have been alot like Liz-beautiful, fun, powerful and appreciated for being smart ;)
By Abbie Hill on 07/27/2008 9:04 am
RoseMerry Hoffman
see the Wikipedia article I am quoting for the sources: “After Monroe’s death, DiMaggio claimed her body and arranged her funeral. For 20 years, he had a half-dozen red roses delivered to her crypt three times a week. Unlike her other two husbands or those who claimed to have been her lovers, he never talked about her publicly or otherwise exploited their relationship.” … “DiMaggio told both his son and attorney that “the Kennedys killed her.” Her death was no accident. And God Bless Joe for his love and loss. I love Elton John’s original, “Candle in the Wind”. Rest easy, Norma Jean.
By RoseMerry Hoffman on 07/27/2008 10:54 am
joan larsen
To Liz Smith — I’ll let the others “say it all” — but to me, getting the COVER of Parade today — well, that tops it!!! Always fun to have the widest general audience possible to what is definitely going to be a well-deserved popular piece. Both Marilyn — and Liz — are one of a kind. Extremely fitting!!
By joan larsen on 07/27/2008 4:00 pm
l drake
Ms. Smith. What facts are you using? The very idea of portraying Marilyn Monroe as some kind of feminist heroine, an empowered woman is downright ludicrous. An empowered woman shows up for work on time, prepared. An empowered woman does not cause delay and interruption to her employers and her co-workers. There are many many strong, independent and successful actresses from earlier eras: Bette Davie, Olivia DeHaviland, Ann Sheridan (remember her), even Ingrid Bergman, did it her way. Marilyn Monroe turned her will and her life over to a succession of controlling men, and then, the “teachers”: the Strasbergs. She was NEVER independent, probably DEPENDENT on various drugs, even if ‘legal’, and alcohol. I am VERY disappointed in your assessment.
By l drake on 07/27/2008 5:49 pm
maria mercer
Do you know her (Marilyn?) how dare you throw rocks on someone you don’t even know thanks God you never have problems in your life lucky you …..Liz is not empowering not one she is compassionate and she and all of us know that Marilyn had a tragic life and she was maybe weak .I hope you never have to deal you or your family with issues we all came from disfuctional familes ARE YOU?if not GOD Bless you and I hope never go thru all of us have been thru .Maybe you are soo perfect and so lucky .Yes I and many other like Liz article is with COMPASSION something you don’t know what is it.she is dead is least for respect .Let the world know she was just a human being full of mistakes and errors ARE YOU SO PERFECT?
By maria mercer on 07/27/2008 11:05 pm
Mr. Wow
Apparently, IDrake didn’t read Miss Smith’s article carefully. I believe all of Marilyn’s human flaws were presented—substance absude, over-dpendance on otherrs, her inability to be as “professional” as others were.. But her strenghts and guts, often ignored, were also shown. She was not a “feminist heroine.” She was a woman who achieved a lot, against every odd.
By Mr. Wow on 07/28/2008 5:47 am
carol wilson
Thank you Liz for writing about Marilyn, the person, and not focusing on her later life problems. Marilyn tried to be a survivor, but did not have the required amount of toughness for Hollywood. I am sure that being her friend would have been wonderful.
By carol wilson on 07/28/2008 8:34 am
Chris Broersma
I read the article in Parade and I seldom read celebrity articles. This was a good story about a women we really knew little about. Nice to see the picture of her life filled in in such a positive way!
By Chris Broersma on 07/28/2008 11:11 am
Marily O'Brien
Liz, The movie “The Walker” mentioned in your NY Post article can be checked out and watched though Netflix. Know this has nothing to do with Marilyn Monroe, just some interesting info to pass on.
By Marily O'Brien on 07/28/2008 6:38 pm
doll lady
Wonderful article. I remember somehow getting a picture of her when I was a young girl. My parents thought she was a tramp and I remember them talking with my grandparents during Sunday lunch….I wasn’t supposed to hear. I hid my picture each day. At night I would bring it out and stare at it. When I was about age 13, I bought blond hair color so I could have blond hair like hers….but mine turned green. That was the end of trying to look like her. Marilyn, I will always hold you dear to my heart. I think you were beautiful. Peace and Goodwill….doll
By doll lady on 07/29/2008 7:18 am
sherry roemer
Thank you for sharing this about my birth mother. I never knew her as Marilyn, only NORMA. She would visit me in upstate NY as much as she could, take me out for a picnic and we would play together. For the rest of the story please contact me… I remember MAMA…not Marilyn sherry…for now
By sherry roemer on 07/29/2008 5:11 pm
betsy smith
Many years ago, I was the photography stylist for Bert Stern when he shot his famous next-to-last nude photos of Marilyn. I had to apply pancake makeup all over her back and where she couldn’t reach—her skin was transparent and mottled with lovely blue veins, so very fragile looking. She asked for a Frank Sinatra LP to be played in the background, and champagne to drink. An unforgettable memory.
By betsy smith on 07/29/2008 6:00 pm
Becky R
It was interesting to read this since I just watched a movie about her life, on TV yesterday. It was on Lifetime channel and it was called “Blonde”. In the movie there were two guys who definitely used Marilyn for their own selfish reasons and one of them was Charlie Chaplan’s grandson. He later died in the movie. Was this fictional or true? Did he and his friend use Marilyn in so many sad ways? (sexually and financially) If anyone has the real truth I would be interested to know as I didn’t see anything in Liz’s article , unless I missed it.
By Becky R on 07/30/2008 9:47 am
Susan Fried
What a wonderful article! In the 40s and 50s, my father was a film salesman for 20th Century Fox, and in the early 50s, met and spent some time with Marilyn Monroe. He said that she was witty, intelligent and even more beautiful in person than on the screen; he always had a soft spot in his heart for her. Whenever I saw her films I always kept what he said about her intelligence in the back of my mind, and it gave me a new perspective in which to see her. Marilyn Monroe was truly unique!
By Susan Fried on 07/31/2008 12:45 pm
Gail Pierris
This was THE BEST article EVER WRITTEN about Marilyn Monroe. THANK YOU. Having just saw “Some Like It Hot” the other day on TCM, its amazing that no one ever told her that what she did in those movies was real ‘art’ and “real”acting - comedy is so much harder than being dramatic…..what she did took courage, strength and amazing talent - we lost something wonderful that fateful night, but at least we have her on screen forever.
By Gail Pierris on 07/31/2008 2:55 pm