“When you haven’t any coal in the stove and you freeze in the winter/And you curse to the wind at your fate/When you haven’t any shoes on your feet and your coat’s thin as paper and you look 30 pounds underweight/

"When you go to get a word of advice from the fat little pastor, he will tell you to love evermore/But when hunger comes to rap, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat, at the window see how love flies out the door!”

Lyrics from Kander and Ebb’s song, “Money” — one of the musical highpoints of “Cabaret.”

Although President Bush — looking more diminished by the hour — used the word “doom” to describe what might happen if the $700 billion Wall Street/Main Street bailout was not passed, we haven’t reached the “no-coal-in-the-stove” juncture yet. But the financial crisis and the utter incompetence and stupidity of almost everyone in Washington — John McCain falling off his phony to-the-rescue white horse and Nancy Pelosi’s brain freeze (she just couldn’t hold off on that speech for 20 minutes?) and  Barack Obama’s still-too-ethereal, meditative manner —  makes it even more difficult to entertain or divert you … or myself!

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I have to add a few words to the many written and expressed about Paul Newman, dead of cancer at 83.

Paul lived a remarkably grounded life for a star of his caliber and good looks. I rarely heard tales of temperament, overweening ego, excessive bad-boy behavior. (At most there were hints that he was only human, might drink an extra beer now and then and enjoyed sophomoric dirty jokes.) He was probably no saint, and only he and his wife, the divine Joanne Woodward, know all that went into staying married for 50 years.

Paul put his money where his mouth was and became a truly charitable figure with his Newman’s Own products. And Paul Newman was probably the only star, who, when he talked politics, didn’t make one cringe, want to scream and change the channel. He had a brain. And a great big heart. Perhaps it was something in the inherent privacy and sincerity of his nature. I never felt Paul was talking just to enjoy the sound of his own voice. 

Truthfully, the only time I heard people criticize him? When he refused to give an autograph. After a certain point he just wouldn’t. He thought it was a ridiculous waste of time, on both sides of the issue — autographer and autographee.

His eyes were bluer than blue. His abs were chiseled marble. He starred in movies. But that’s not how he made his mark on this world.

Yesterday, I picked up some Newman’s Own Tomato and Basil pasta sauce and Lite Caesar Salad Dressing. It was the best way I could think of to tip my hat to Paul.

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P.S. On Sunday, Oct. 12, Turner Classic Movies salutes Paul with a 24-hour movie marathon. Included are “Hud,” “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” “Exodus,” “Cool Hand Luke,” “Sweet Bird of Youth,” “The Outrage,” “Somebody Up There Likes Me.”

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Congrats to Shia LaBeouf! He has the top movie of the week, “Eagle Eye,” costarring Michelle Monaghan. This is Shia’s fourth straight film to break in at No. 1.

And good news on the personal front as well. DUI charges against the actor were dismissed. His arm, banged up in that car accident, is mending nicely. I caught Shia on “Ellen” the other day. He was so charming, and the audience loved it when he revealed that with his newfound wealth, he has “retired” his parents from any nine-to-five grind. He said, “They’re artists, and they should be free to … create!” 

Nobody remembers it now, but I predicted stardom for this kid back when I saw him in Bill Paxton’s wonderful (if little-seen) golf epic, “The Greatest Game Ever Played.” Shia would have made it big without my recommendation. Still, I was prescient when Shia’s career teed off and I’ve followed his success with some fondness ever since.

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The blogs are alive with fans, haters and people in their pajamas weighing in on the little Meg Ryan/Dennis Quaid back and forth.

Oh, you know — Meg told InStyle magazine, in explaining her romance with Russell Crowe (while still officially wed to Quaid), “Dennis was not faithful to me for a long time, and that was very painful. I found out more about that once I was divorced.”  

Dennis, who has since remarried and has year-old twins, reacted angrily: “It’s been eight years … she should move on … I have … think of our son, Jack … yada, yada!” More people out there seem to agree with Dennis. But perhaps they should pick up InStyle for the rest of Meg’s quote, and the writer’s observation. “She refuses to paint herself white and Quaid black — she wasn’t the stereotypical long-suffering wife, nor was Quaid a monster … Meg is adamant: ‘I am not a victim. I was there. I was in that marriage for a really long time.’” And later in the interview she praises Quaid’s parenting and says again, “I don’t blame him. The marriage is something we created together.”