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Mary Wells | 06/12/2008 12:00 am

Mary Wells: Mrs. McCain Is Pretty but Michelle Obama Is Glorious

Mary Wells

I think Michelle is gloriously 2008 and shouldn’t change. Pretty Mrs. McCain stands still on the side, slightly behind, like so many of the women.
In America’s history, wives of heads of corporations as well as wives of presidents – they barely breathe, they smile demure smiles, we are not supposed to focus on them, but we all register: nice ladies. Mrs. McCain must be cute to know – he had a wide choice. But when a woman is as still as she is you get an idea that he is the general and she marches to his tune.

Hillary’s face is active and expressive and can be dramatic and she has learned a new smile that is big and lovely and somebody new is doing her makeup this year — good for her!!! But Hillary moves like a girls’ basketball coach — back and forth, from an older era. Michelle moves from head to toe, she moves her slim athletic body as if she could jam with the best of them, clicking her fingers. The two of them, Barack and Michelle, use a podium or speech area differently than other political couples.

They move around each other, like a dance routine, and they relate to each other and even touch each other, groovy, feeling free. She makes me feel good. She isn’t scared. She has opinions. He cares about them. They have a dancing marriage that has spirit. Other good marriages in the White House, no matter how glamorous, have been still and typical of the puritanical American past. Some of the male presidents have had secret or not-so-secret affairs. But there was no happy heat that we could see – no strong communication that was obvious to us between the president and his wife. The Obamas look and act like change, like 2008, like good times. I don’t want to lose any of that.

Read more about: Election, Politics, Relationships

35 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Star Lawrence
Jeez, meow, ladies. How hateful.
By Star Lawrence on 06/14/2008 2:37 pm
Chef Zee
Body language is so important isn’t it? Whenever I see John and Cindy McCain together, I feel sorry for her and angry at him. It took me a while to figure out why. Mr. M, never looks at her, or touches her, or seems to acknowledge her in any way - even when she is glaringly at his side lapping up all he is saying. I thought she was so Stepford until I saw her on the View; and although I didn’t believe much of what she said, she displayed a surprising warmth and youthfulness. On the other hand, Mr. and Mrs. Obama together just make me feel good. They touch, they play, they tease; their devotion to each other is palpable. BTW: Why are we always focused on the women and their looks? How come nobody’s mentioned that McCain looks like a chipmunk whose winter meal is safely stored?
By Chef Zee on 06/12/2008 5:32 pm
Meg Umans
Chef Zee, McCain’s cheek is puffy from where a skin cancer was removed. I love watching the Obamas together too, and watching either of them. Can’t hurt to have some beautiful people in the White House again.
By Meg Umans on 06/12/2008 7:40 pm
Chef Zee
You’re right of course Meg, and I’m sorry my comment was insensitive - more than I meant it to be. I just get so angry that all things female are seen under a microscope which magnifies a women’s flaws while minimizing a man’s. And most upsetting of all, is it is coming from other women.
By Chef Zee on 06/13/2008 6:50 am
Alessan O
I don’t think Michele Obama is all that, period. Mrs. McCain is a Stepford wife, at least publicly.
By Alessan O on 06/12/2008 10:45 pm
Bella Mia
Cindy McCain is a classic introvert. She is not shy, but like Jackie Kennedy, is stimulated by her own thoughts and ideas. She has been a politician’s wife for decades, and does not want to be the story. Michelle Obama is an extrovert: outgoing, forceful, even combative. More like Nancy Reagan. Both types of women should be respected and acknowledged. Pairing a very strong man with a very strong woman often does not mesh in a relationship, but the pairings of these two couples do work. And extroversion, and introversion is much more associated with heredity than character. I am more of any introvert, my husband, very much the gregarious extrovert, and we have children that match each of us in temperament. Our older children date people that are the opposite of their extroversion or introversion. It’s a pattern, and it’s healthy and natural. Cindy McCain has a good heart and would be a magnificent first lady.
By Bella Mia on 06/14/2008 9:53 am
Bella Mia
I meant to say: Pairing a very extrovert man with an extrovert woman, often does not mesh well in a relationship. Extroverts and introverts can both be very “strong” character wise, and both can be highly effective first ladies. This is from wikipedia but gives a pretty accurate overview of the two traits: Extraversion Extraverts typically thrive in large groups. Extraversion is “the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self”.[3] Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. Acting, teaching, directing, managing, brokering are fields that favor extraversion. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They enjoy risk-taking and often show leadership abilities.[4] An extravert is energized when around other people. Extraverts tend to “fade” when alone and can easily become bored without other people around. Extraverts tend to think as they speak. When given the chance, an extravert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think. [edit]Introversion Introverts often enjoy solitary activities like reading. Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life”.[3] Introverts tend to be low-key, deliberate, and relatively less engaged in social situations. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, watching movies, and using computers. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, composer and inventor are all highly introverted. An introverted person is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people (although they tend to enjoy interactions with close friends). They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate.[5] Introversion is not the same as shyness. Introverts choose solitary over social activities by preference, whereas shy people avoid social encounters out of fear.[6] An introvert is energized when alone. Introverts tend to “fade” when with people and can easily become overstimulated with too many others around. Introverts tend to think before speaking.[7] [edit]Ambiversion Although many people view being introverted or extraverted as a question with only two possible answers, most contemporary trait theories (e.g. the Big Five) measure levels of extraversion as part of a single, continuous dimension of personality, with some scores near one end, and others near the half-way mark.[8] Ambiversion is a term used to describe people who fall more or less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups.[3][9] An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction, but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extroversion Our society greatly values extroversion, and sometimes assigns unflattering traits to introversion, like “cold.” But as another poster commented when Cindy McCain was on the View she seemed warm and friendly, but she was in, what was for her, a preferred small group discussion.
By Bella Mia on 06/14/2008 10:03 am
Get Sporty
Bella Mia—Loved this. I’m sorry so many on this site dismiss others efforts (and time) to provide other points of view. “Psychobabble” etc. I found this fascinating…even if know the info you framed it so well. Jackie Kennedy was an introvert who could be gregarious when called for. Her son said that she’d return from engagements when she had to be ‘on’ worn out.
By Get Sporty on 06/18/2008 1:57 pm
SURA B
Let’s not psycho babble our way into the election. Mrs. Reagan was a useless, superstitious, manipulating broad who cajoled, stomped, and wielded much power over her hunk. What do you know about Cindy except her public image? They’ve lived apart during most of their marriage, she with domestic help and children, and he remained in Washington all these years. What does she have to say? What in heaven’s name do you know about her heart or personality. Michelle is educated, has a profession, supported herself, is responsible, and certainly, the Obamas’ body language reveals lots. Depending on media to psychoanalyze is playing games.
By SURA B on 06/15/2008 9:46 am
Ellen Enders
These are the only words of advice for Michelle that I agree with. She is the most refreshing potential first lady to come along……the other women on this site are giving her the advice that other political and corporate wives have been given and that is why there are so many Stepford women out there. Whenever I see Cindy McCain or Laura Bush I feel sad because I know that they are vibrant women who have had to shut off who they are for large portions of their lives (whenever they are in public)…they are from another generation, though. Michelle Obama is a smart woman and will be able to figure out how to remain true to who she is and dance the political dance and create a new archetype for a first lady/political/ corporate wife for the 21st century…she is a great role model. I like Obama MORE for being married to her….for choosing to be with a smart, strong woman who has her own opinions and respecting her. I’ve listened to a lot of her speeches in their entirety, and she isn’t as controversial as the press would have people believe. She’s an asset and shouldn’t “shut up”.
By Ellen Enders on 06/14/2008 2:02 pm
Jenny Oops
Hope no one minds my posting this poem again. I posted it last night because I thought it added to the discussion about women today and Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain. No idea where I posted it, but it weren’t where it shoulda been. So I’m posting it here in the discussion where it belongs. Hope you like it, and it paints a picture for all of you. After previewing my entry, have to say I hope it comes out written like a poem and not just one big happy statement. You can probably separate it as it should be, think those places are fairly obvious. Geez,. I talk a lot! :):):):) Zorri! Pretty Pastel Ladies Pretty pastel ladies in a blood-red-world pose a passive promise in their peach and pink and pearls. Pretty pastel ladies wear rubber band smiles and ask curtsied nods from friends. Promenading graceful delicacy to tell, they merely dabble in their Will. Only luring courtly gentlemen to picnics on a hill. Taking cover in hues-of-armour, absolution in coats of forget-me-nots. They use fragrant whiffs and frippery as vanishing cream, to say, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. Why should we wear our virtuoso like virgin virtuosity? Hide sharp edges in patient handmade French seams? When rather, we would wear ourselves, walk arm-in-arm with you. Weaving history, drinking sunsets, to accomplish an eloquent fuse. BUT, Pretty pastel ladies in a blood-red-world, must parlay misty statements of peach and pink and pearls into sustenance and conjuring gossamer mysteries that hint, of girl, of girl of girl. C, Jenny Houston Tiburon, California Spring, 1976
By Jenny Oops on 06/14/2008 6:35 pm
Jenny Oops
P. S. Has anyone else noticed that ‘something’ is going on in the ‘he/she’ world. Look at the longer, almost long curl hair styles seen on CNN as well as in town more and more. I shop via catalog and so many of the clothes are blouses with short, puffy sleeves, or little ties or bows in the back, tops with peplums. As far as I can see, many of the dresses are the ‘decent dresses’ that women wore a Jackie Kennedy ago or they look like dresses housewives wore in the ’30s. Sumthin is going on he/she wise! Does anyone else have any observations or comments on this?
By Jenny Oops on 06/14/2008 7:17 pm
Mary Lou From Maine
Well said! I love the phrase “happy heat” … is this refreshing and energizing or what?! Michelle is a beautiful and gracious bright light on the American scene. … As to Mrs. McCain, since you brought it up, someone should tell her that bleach blonde is harsh on women of a certain age (I am one, so I can say that). In her case, it adds to that “ice queen aura” and that suggests anyting but happy heat. I say this not in nastiness but in sincere wishfulness that she try softening her sharp edges. She can always go back to blonde if I’m wrong …
By Mary Lou From Maine on 06/15/2008 2:07 pm
T S
I’m looking forward to having her as First Lady (Spouse?). This is a wife who is respected by her husband and it shows.
By T S on 06/15/2008 3:44 pm
Patricia Burstein
Mary Wells, I agree entirely with you about Michelle Obama. She is truly stunning, intellectually and physically. Her walk says it all. To be sure she can pack a punch. Your description of Hillary’s gait, including her loveliness when she permits herself to be, is absolutely perfect and captures a period piece about women. You write with great intelligence and perception. Patricia Burstein
By Patricia Burstein on 06/15/2008 5:53 pm