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Mary Wells | 12/03/2008 11:00 pm

Mary Wells: Help a Woman in Need This Christmas

Mary Wells

The best do-it-yourself gifts I have given have been certificates to learn something that my friends longed to know or to do. Sometimes they just don’t get up and go do it themselves, but with the certificate they feel beholden to me and do and then they are on their way into a new adventure they have really wanted to have.

I have a small group of women who take care of other people’s children, children with AIDS and a wide variety of terrible problems. These women must be angels on earth to help us all. My gifts to these groups are the most satisfying all around. That is not exactly a do-it-yourself gift because other women do it. But I help.

I dream of going to troubled countries where women are not valued and are brutally mistreated and where I could join a group offering financial and emotional help to women – there are groups like that sprouting up and so many women around the world are helping. I think sooner or later I will do that, health and age permitting.

14 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Ms. Dee
Oh, Mary. May you live long and prosper. You give me a call if I can be of any help!
By Ms. Dee on 12/04/2008 8:00 am
sibelle daubigne
Ms Dee, i am still a fan! You give me a call too!
By sibelle daubigne on 12/04/2008 9:44 am
Becky Shooz
There is a group that has been helping women worldwide since 1919. It is Zonta International. There are approximately 33,000 members in more than 67 countries. On an international level, we have been involved in helping educate women in Afghanistan and working to reduce the death rates of Afghan women from pregnancy and childbirth, working to fight the sale of women and children as sex slaves (girls as young as five years old!), providing micro loans to women in Africa, and much, much more. On a local level, our club works with a local food pantry/clothing closet to identify women who are motivated to improve their lives - we provide scholarships, training classes, and moral support to these women. What a great feeling to see a woman go from living in poverty to supporting her family as a teacher or nurse. Just to see the rise in self esteem from a women who has earned her GED makes all the time we devote to our club worthwhile.
By Becky Shooz on 12/04/2008 10:04 am
Meg Rafferty
Go Becky! Zonta International sounds kick-butt. We woman need food, clothes and education to support our babies. I am so disturbed to hear about the sale of children, and abuse from powerful men. Even here in the United States these crimes are not so severly punished. Let the punishment fit the crime. I can think of a way to cure the urge, castration comes to mind. A real deterant. Meg Rafferty
By Meg Rafferty on 12/16/2008 9:53 am
Delete This
What’s best and cheapest gifts?” The most successful gifts I’ve given were watercolors I painted and framed for relatives/friends that reflected a aspects of their lives. Illustrated verses wrote/painted for occasions. A book that my brothers and sisters and I did together for our parents. I learned calligraphy in the girl’s school I attended and that has been very helpful too…I collect sayings/expressions and have bought nice blank books for family members and then calligraphied the expressions and painted the borders, etc. Once I hand lettered all the envelopes and invitations for a friend’s wedding….found beautiful shell-pink paper and used light spring green ink I made from watercolors so very fresh and delicate looking. And another time was the ball chair of an event at the Four Seasons Montecito Biltmore….was there in the late afternoon with a few people setting up…and while supervising that hand-lettered 300 placecards. It took longer than had planned and was so late had to rush to dress for the evening and stepped into shoes backwards and danced all night with shoes on the wrong feet. Didn’t notice til went to the ladies room at 11PM and looked down. Worked so hard on that ball, I guess was a little numb and didn’t feel it. But one of the biggest money makers the SB symphony ever had. I also designed and painted the invitations for “Le Bal des Roses”….a bouquet of roses wrapped in a sheet of music with a light-hearted ribbon. Wrote all the PR, and designed the stage backdrop that the head of the UCSB Theatre Arts program had his students paint for free. Here’s one of the PR teasers: “On 9 Avril by the glittering sea when jasmine’s in the air Tout les gens of sylvan grace will fete the debonnaire. In days of old we’ve heard it told about les parties grand But now we know Bal des Roses will be parler partout the land. On that night all alight the Biltmore will rise like Chenonceau on the River Cher. That even Voltaire or Rousseau would exclaim all sparkled with savoire-faire. So slip into all your perfumed charm and into your gossamer gown And come to the ball, the brightest of all, the one of elan and renown.” From memory so may not be correct….but the point is that I think it’s resourcefulness and creativity not resources.
By Delete This on 12/04/2008 4:12 pm
Delete This
This is an incredible 4 min video for thos who haven’t seen it. Sarah McLachlan’s “World on Fire”. Instead of spending $150K to make a music video, she sat in a guitar and sang the song while animation showed where the $150K was donated instead and all the good it achieved….really impressive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzoNInZ2ClQ
By Delete This on 12/04/2008 4:18 pm
C jay
Thank you, Carmel … may each of us remember to share and heal. If our world is healthy, we shall be healthy, too. For those we feel we must give to this season, re-gift! It’s fun! (I’m a broken record!)
By C jay on 12/04/2008 7:02 pm
Mmmm Rrrrrr
A favorite way that I’ve found to help women is The Box Project (www.boxproject.org). I have a “sister” in the delta of Mississippi and I send her and her family a monthly box (choosing what to send is challenging and really fun), to help them get by. Check it out!
By Mmmm Rrrrrr on 12/04/2008 8:55 pm
C jay
Ah, yes, in the mid-70s I took my children on a tour of that area, then up the flooded Miss. They were shocked (I don’t think it drove anything home to them for their adult life though - sigh). Late last fall, the state’s elder abuse unit put out a call for “warm” clothing and/or bedding for the elderly, so I literally cleared out every possible item I did not need, ending up with 8 large cartons of blankets, quilts, warm clothing, etc. The case worker who came to pick it up was most appreciative - much more than most places I’ve donated to in the past - and told me a great deal about the plight of women and men “over 60 today.” Frankly, our country must first do something very open and direct about child and elder abuse. In the 70, I initiated a needs study in Texas that founded the first domestic violence program, which spun off many more in the state, but first toured about 11 established “shelters” around the US. Therefore, our first one was a foster family program for abandoned women with children (because no one wanted to even use the term “abused” - so I got around it with “abandoned”. The other states’ programs were mired in law suits by, of all things, grandparents who were demanding to see their sheltered grandchildren in protection with their non-abusive parent. Few people seem to want to admit to this cancer in our society even today, and it’s high time something was done to stop it. I for one am sick and tired of it, and I’m angry that it is permitted to continue. Even at the Texas State Schools (ref: “Forgotten Lives” - U -Tube). Every time I see Paulson escaping with our funds, changing his obvious lack of direction, I’m livid that our nation has permitted this nut, and congress to sou nd off for months yet do nothing but stir the pool of money, as if we didn’t see it’s seepage. Abuse! Lack of health coverage is a form of abuse. Long lines in ERs is abusive, lack of Pre-K-12 education standards in the US is abuse. Permitting adult children to ignore their parents is abuse. Where, pray tel, are the churches - those bastions of morality that refuse to not only speak out on but act upon those in front of their eyes in their own neighborhoods but are permitting by IRS to remain tax-exempt (please - our nation needs those funds!)? The USA’s continued adherence to the “Farm Bill” (vs. Food Bill” and permitting corporate farms (ADM, etc) to rake off our tax dollars, yet not provide tax dollars to the growers of our actual food (vegetables/fruits) instead of wheat, cotton, and corn!!!) is abusive. I could go on and on. President-elect Obama stated that American citizens acted upon Democracy in this election - choosing to act - yes, we did, and we must not stop because there were far too many Christians who have stated they did not vote because “it was in the bag - he’s the anti-Christ”. Those are abusive people. Before this nation spends one red cent on the decades of abuse wrought on us by the automotive and banking/finance industry (et al), they must turn around, and bail out Americans, in their homes, in the hospitals, in the nursing homes that continue to create swill-conditions against our sisters and brothers in them, and plunk down a few ten millions to prosecute abusers in every form their take, including Corporate America, and parents, yes, parents. And, provide Americans with decent food! Ah, Dr. Maslow warned us - the basic necessities of life - the need is right here, at home. Why do we refuse to see it?
By C jay on 12/05/2008 5:25 am
Char Star
Here, Here, Carol J! Excellent post.
By Char Star on 12/09/2008 1:40 pm
C jay
Why, I thank you - kinda got on my old soapbox, didn’t! It’s obvious what hits me, although it’s all true. I’ve lived it, worked it, and fought those conditions all of my adult life, even before that, as a volunteer in high school and college when no one else seemed to have a clue. I’m reincarnated! hee hee Come on over for a roast veggie supper and nice hot tea.
By C jay on 12/09/2008 6:50 pm
Char Star
You’re very welcome Carol. I respect passion for a worthy cause. I wish we were neighbors too—love hot tea & roasted veggies.
By Char Star on 12/09/2008 11:26 pm
Christine Cline
Mary, you do not need to travel to a foreign country to help unvalued women. It is that very thought that makes women like me wish we lived in a foreign country; because then, the very people that treat us with such contempt and scorn would instead have compassion for us. I live the bitter truth that here in America; thought not said, the greatest crime a woman can commit is to accept welfare for her family. I origionally came here to the change the world site months ago desperately seeking help. I got ripped apart for asking by women who have never met me. I even offered for anyone who wishes to to shadow me, investigate me, etc. at any time unbeknownst to me to find out if I was the person I claimed to be. The investigation offer went undone ; But, the name calling and blaming continued. I never got any help and my situation has only deterioted since then even more. I am trying desperately to round up help for all women like me; but, so far have only brought a lot more critisim down on myself. Although in all truthfulness afew people have wish me well since then for which I am so very, very grateful. Feel free to read my profile and everything I have ever written in here. But, please, please consider starting a group to help women right here in America. I am Third World too. I just happen to live right here in America is all. That said have a very, very Happy Holiday!
By Christine Cline on 12/05/2008 9:52 am
Belinda Joy
Mary, your heart and efforts are in the right place. Good for you. There are so many women abroad that are in dire need of help, help that women in America have full access to but many choose not to avail themselves of. I would love to be on that trip when you finally take it, so count me in. I have the funds to cover my expenses and would genuinely be blown away at an opportunity of this nature.
By Belinda Joy on 12/07/2008 9:43 pm