Mary Wells | 01/11/2009 11:00 pm

Mary Wells: The Human Toll of a Recession

In response to: High-profile suicides are on the rise as the economy worsens. Are you surprised by how quickly financial despair is exploding?

Considering the vast worldwide fortunes lost and the desperation growing all around us, I think it is surprising there are so few suicides. Suicide is usually a form of craziness, temporary or clinical and predictable. Stress from financial handcuffs and the pain one may have given to so many others would stimulate suicidal depressions, so I am astonished that all the guilt floating through the world hasn’t caused many more heart attacks and many more suicides.

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“Suicide is usually a form of craziness.” Here is a short and incomplete list of famous suicides. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicides I think if there is any common theme, which there isn’t, it would be despair, not ‘craziness.’ It is a very sad and permanent end to temporary but overwhelming solutions, and springs from a wide and individual range of drives. From someone I admire and think is so intelligent….this was a really disappointing and unfortunate choice of words.

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/12/2009 12:23 am

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That’s ‘situations’ not ‘solutions.’

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/12/2009 1:41 am

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Suzanne, you are correct: despair and hopelessness are suicide’s friend. I lost one of my dearest friends to suicide twenty years ago; I still miss her. Her reasons seem irrelevant to me now, but at the time one of my comforts was what the minister at her memorial service said: “Let’s not obscure the beauty of her life by thinking only of how she died.” I hope your family can one day find some peace; it took me a long time. I doubt suicide is rare, but it is undereported. This summer, when faced with the return of an excruciatingly painful illness due to the unwillingness of a new doctor to continue treatment she didn’t understand, I became frantic. I said to the psychiatrist I went to: “If no one helps me and the pain doesn’t stop, I will have to figure out a way to kill myself in a way that no one will know.” Fortunately, I focused on getting the help I needed,and the illness went back to remission. Relieved, the psychiatrist, a compassionate and skilled practitioner, told me I was resilient. I suspect their are many “secret” suicides. And Mary, how do you know there haven’t been more heart attacks?

By Flora Dora on 01/13/2009 5:50 pm

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Flora, Am very glad to know you are getting the support you need. xoxoxo

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/13/2009 9:27 pm

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I’m not surprised this thread got your attention, it got mine too. “Suicide is usually a form of craziness.” That is the sort of ignorance that survivors of suicide have to deal with. Information and education is the only answer.

By DeBúrca obj on 01/12/2009 10:11 pm

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DeB—“That is the sort of ignorance that survivors of suicide have to deal with”….as I am learning and still hanging on to what you said about one year…..

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/13/2009 9:28 pm

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I wish she had been more compassionate and said the old quote: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. There’s nothing crazy about it. Or,for a terminally ill person who has totally lost their quality of life, suicide is a choice. It seems to me that it’s terribly easy to make opinions if one has not been in those shoes before, and perhaps doesn’t know what total despair is and how one loses sight of their options, Suzanne. And, it can happen to any of us; we, none of us, know our breaking point. I think of you and your family often, and hope that you are finding some serenity at Carmel. BTW, thank you for your help on FB; and Jim M. has also been sending me names; he is simply a delight.

By Diana T on 01/12/2009 11:14 pm

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Diana, “Jim M. has also been sending me names; he is simply a delight” He really is a great guy. :)

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/13/2009 9:25 pm

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I can tell. Too bad he’s taken. :)

By Diana T on 01/14/2009 12:19 am

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Mary, there’s a lot of stuff happening down here in steerage. It just doesn’t make headlines.

By Mugsy Peabody on 01/12/2009 12:36 am

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Bless you, Mugsy.

By Susan B on 01/13/2009 10:54 am

I second that, Susan.

By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/13/2009 9:26 pm

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Mary, I am seriously disappointed in your choice of words, as well, but also your apparent understanding that such is “predicable.” May you never be touched by this tragedy, in any of it’s many forms, but please avail yourself of professional information so you may be able to have a better grasp of this tragedy of non-relenting loss by all involved in such outcomes. I was once a consultant to a UK international program for “suicide intervention” founded by the Duchess of Kent. Their stance was to support and care for people during times of despair, not judge their despair, merely intervene where they could. This came about due to the high number of UK citizens working in countries where suicide was rampant, leading to depression affecting everyone including the UK citizens off-shore, if you will. It was a commendable NGO, and still is. In the early 60s, I volunteered for the first suicide prevention program in the nation, in Boston. Needless to say, it was the time of LSD, et al, and “Nam” with my work being also at the Naval Yard caring for young military flown back from Nam. One truly needs to move down to “steerage” as Mugsy relates, to truly share in humanity.

By C jay on 01/12/2009 12:51 am

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“Suicide is usually a form of craziness … ” ??????????

By Serena . on 01/12/2009 1:09 am

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Suicide is not “usually a form of craziness.” Somehow this description seems trite and dismissive. When I was a child, my best friend’s mother committed suicide because she had terminal cancer and couldn’t bear to have her family witness her deterioration. She left a very coherent note with instructions and loving thoughts for each member of her family. I think suicide is a decision made out of hopelessness, despair, feelings of extreme isolation, shame, guilt, illness, pain or anger. Wouldn’t it be better to hope that people who have experienced financial ruin find help and support to get through the crisis rather than to be “astonished” that there haven’t been more heart attacks and suicides?

By Maurine H on 01/12/2009 1:13 am