A clean bathroom, restroom, toilette room is a rare and beautiful thing. The better the restaurant, the worse the bathroom — maybe because there is such turnover. I always want to have my shoes dry-cleaned when I leave. You would think a hair salon would have a clean one, but they are always filled with used sprays and the sinks are not clean. Chanel has some sort of manifesto about washrooms and you stand a good chance of getting a clean one if you can brave the hungry sales staff. The one in Monte Carlo is particularly clean — if you are in Monte Carlo. I would expect Hermès to have perfect washrooms with their abundant quality and prices, so I am going to start checking Hermès washrooms. Hermès! Here I come!

The best one I ever experienced was at Claridges in London. It has a smartly dressed maid off a movie set who makes sure your soap is new, you have a new fresh towel and that the whole place is a grand experience. There is ample space to fuss over your hair. And there is a second room where you can collapse if your love affair is going badly at lunch. I think there is an opportunity here. We should go into business and build small, immaculate washrooms little by little until they are all over town. The signs would be an art form in cleanliness and would say CLEAN SAFE WASHROOM American Express or Visa. Ten dollars a visit. Expensive? Well, OK. What would a clean, safe, germ-free washroom in a handy location be worth to you? Let me know.