I wish Whoopi were hosting tonight. Remember when she hosted the awards? Not that Hugh is shabby. Not at all. He’s just not part of wowOwow. Oy. The gum. Why can they not tuck the gum behind their ears for one night. Really. Too tacky. OK. It’s getting a little boring. Oops. Fantastic earrings on Heidi Klum. Angelskin coral. And amazing necklace on Amy Adams.

OK. The Arrivals!! OMG!

They look toooo gorgeous. Truly. Angelina’s EARRINGS!! Does she look insanely divine? The biggest emeralds I have ever seen. She does it perfectly.

And now Valentino! And a vintage Valentino at that. With an Italian accent to die for. OMG.

Miley Cyrus in such a dress!! She looks great.

Ah! Anne Hathaway in a fantastic, spectacular Armani fish scaled dress. She is a truly nice girl, by the way. Worked with her last summer and liked her very much. Treats people kindly and well and very talented.

Penelope Cruz … whom I voted for. Wearing a vintage Balmain.

And now the only sane, rational dignified presence so far, Richard Jenkins.

Marisa Tomei … looking well, just swell in Versace. Guys go nuts over her. And why not?

Meryl and her youngest daughter both beautiful. Simple. Taupe.

Ah. It begins. A great set. Very choice. Panning the audience. People have their listening faces. Not looking at the cameras a foot and a half in front of their faces.   Hugh is singing and dancing and gets a deserved standing ovation and the show is off on a good note.

And now the dazzling group of best supporting actresses who won over the years. Very classy bunch. And they introduce the nominees and each woman is moved and holding back tears and Penelope wins and handles her acceptance beautifully.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin in a wonderfully written piece on writing. And now I see that this is an extremely fine show. Perfect pitch. Intimate. And people are all behaving.

Oops. Now it’s Jen and Jack Black and we all know what that means because Angie and Brad are in the front row watching and, yes! There is a shot of Angie laughing with Jen. And the audience is happy. Jen is smiling at someone in the front row. It is a smile to someone she knows. But is it Brad? Ah. Another shot, this time of Angie and Brad. Jen’s still up there. OK. That’ll do it. The stage is well-designed. Very well done. Jen looks great, by the way. But Angie has those earrings. And those kids.

9:34, Cinematography and Natalie Portman is drop-dead gorgeous. In raspberry chiffon. Strapless. And that face. And Ben Stiller as Phoenix. Not River, the other one who was peaking on Letterman the other night. An actor’s moment. And Stiller nails him. And the cinematographer from Slumdog wins. He should win anyway just for surviving the shoot.

So, just drifted off into the show and back to Reese Witherspoon looking like a knockout in sapphire and black and beaded and best director is Danny Boyle for Slumdog.

Then the squadron of women winners to present to Kate Winslet. And she was somewhat more in command than the last 2 times she won. And to see those gals, led off by the great Sophia, and Shirley, Halle, Marion, who else? It was lovely and personal and impressive. And to see the nominees’ names read off and the staggering amount of stress being barely processed. The short, shallow breathing, the trembling, the all but impossibility of staying in your body, in the moment.