Thank God I’m not in LA. That’s one thing. To be in LA during Oscar Week is some teeny kind of hell. Well, unless you’re nominated and then it’s some sweet kind of chaotic incessant insane physical maintenance/psychological waterboard thing. OK. That was too glib. But you get the idea. Not that I would know because the one time I was nominated, it was for best supporting actress for a film called, "Starting Over" and I was up against Meryl Streep for "Kramer vs Kramer". Since our site is for the older demographic, I assume some of you might have heard of one of these movies. In any case, needless to say, I lost to Meryl. That award is always given early so it was quite nice to kick back and enjoy the show except for my mom, who was my date, who kept nattering loudly about fashion faux pas.

Which brings me to my next point: how very much I MISS the legendary fashion faux pas. Oh GOD such a loss, now that everyone — including the guys — has a stylist. Except for one I’m sure we can count on to titillate with his fashion choices, Mickey Roarke, who may bring a chihuahua as an evening bag … and, who may very likely win.

What I mean is, in the Old Days, no one ever had a stylist. Didn’t happen. And no one lent or gave outfits. Almost never. You were on your own, which was what we, happily watching at home in our jammies, lived for. Oh my God. It was heaven. There were mostly nightmares. Outfits, evening dresses that were just beyond eccentric or tacky. They were the occasion for huge whoops and hollers. So much fun. Except for a very, very few. They, of course, stood out in their innate elegance and tasteful simplicity. There were always women you could count on to always look outstanding. Anjelica Huston. Sharon Stone. Faye Dunaway. But basically, it was over-the-top-heaven.

Now, the entrances are starting. Dadadum. It is 3:30 in LA. They have been grooming since, what, noon? At least. Plus you can’t drink anything after 12:00pm because peeing is out of the question.

Taraji P. Henson — an adorable girl nominated for Best Supporting Actress for Benjamin Button. Looking sooooo fine. An unbelievable antique diamond necklace. Huge. Gorgeous. She was on "Boston Legal" for a season, which is how I know her.