Post | 08/21/2008 1:00 am

Five Ways To Know That Your Husband May Be Looking Elsewhere

By Robert Stephan Cohen
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Editor’s Note: Robert Stephan Cohen, a partner in Cohen Lans, LLP, is one of the top divorce attorneys in the United States, having just successfully represented Christie Brinkley in her landmark custody battle this summer. Past clients include Uma Thurman, Lorraine Bracco and various Trump wives. He is the author of Reconcilable Differences: 7 Keys to Remaining Together from a Top Matrimonial Lawyer.


1. If your husband has blocks of unaccounted-for time, especially in the evening or on weekends, beware.

2. If there is a family computer, log on and see what the search history, sites visited or navigation history and e-mail trails suggest. Find out where your "cache" is on your Internet browser and see if it is being cleared regularly; it may suggest he is trying to hide what sites he’s been visiting. Anything strange. There are laws affecting computer access and you should check with a qualified professional.

3. Check his cell phone calls if the bills come home to determine whether there are unfamiliar repeat calls. If the bills don’t come home, wonder why.

4. If he starts talking about a woman at the office or someone he met — even in an innocuous way — it suggests he has another interest.

5. If his sexual appetite with you wanes or changes in a material way it may be the beginning. My experience, however, is that it is easier for men to engage in sex with their spouse and others in the same time frame. It’s usually a dead giveaway when women stop having sex with their mate. They are wired in a way that generally makes multiple sex partners off limits for them.

Reminder: Before you confront him, see a capable divorce lawyer.

Mr. Cohen practices law in New York State. This blog does not and should not be construed to give legal advice in connection with any of the subject matter contained herein. You must always seek to speak with your own lawyer for legal advice. 

Read more about: Christie Brinkley, Divorce, Law, Relationships, Robert Stephan Cohen
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160 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

James Gemmell

Some of these suggestions sound reasonable to me, but #4 is downright paranoid. I mean, a guy (or woman) can’t even talk about some lady at work without it being construed as him having “another interest”. I used to talk about a couple women at work to my late girlfriend - I couldn’t stand them, is why! They were gossipy backstabbers, and I used to confide everything to my beloved woman about their evil ways. I imagine a sudden lack of sexual drive, lack of accounted-for times and repeat cell-phone calls might be a possible - underscore, possible - indication that something’s amiss…..or a “Miss” or “Ms”! Here’s another way to tell…if you get an opportunity to go to his/her work, and can access messages left on his/her work telephone. But, if there is any suspicion in a relationship on the part of either person, that’s an indication of a problem, anyway, in my opinion. Let me put it like this…I never, ever worried about Jude (Judy) cheating on me, because I knew just how in love we were. Hey, it’s my opinion.

By James Gemmell on 08/21/2008 1:30 am
My Alias

As Robert De Niro’s character said in Ronin, “Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.”

By My Alias on 08/21/2008 1:52 am
James Gemmell

Without a doubt, Alias.

By James Gemmell on 08/21/2008 2:09 am
KATHRYN GODDARD

Well that quotation sums up my feelings totally. If you don’t have trust, there is no relationship.

By KATHRYN GODDARD on 08/21/2008 3:50 am
Bonnie D-Z

Good one!

By Bonnie D-Z on 08/21/2008 5:04 pm
No Way-No How -No McCain

1) I dislike snoops. I think it is an invasion of privacy and shows disrespect, suspicion, paranoia and lack of self-confidence and self-respect.

2) If there is no trust, there is no love. If you don’t trust someone why be married to them?

3) What a terrible way to live a life. It shows contempt for another’s privacy which can only cause resentment. Once that cycle of contempt/resentment
starts…I think the party is pretty near over. That is a tough thing to un-do and reverse.

4) If there is several sudden vastly different changes that give a strong indication something is going on—you walk into the bedroom and he’s dancing around with some other woman’s underwear on his head….by all means confront it!

5) I’m so glad I’m not married. Keep these articles coming and it’ll keep me single. Thanks!

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/21/2008 1:42 am
Frank Peterson

Suzanne—agreed fully—except for 5. But hey we all have have our foibles ;-)

By Frank Peterson on 08/21/2008 2:55 am
No Way-No How -No McCain

Frank…Well, good luck with that.

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/21/2008 3:48 am
Frank Peterson

Thank you Suzanne. :-)

By Frank Peterson on 08/21/2008 4:05 am
shortlady 52

Winery I think you are right if you have to start snooping and sneaking the trust is broken. But on the other hand if your mate has checked out and step out the trust is broken already and finding the proof to confront the married mate with is the last stage to divorce american style.

You know I think if we take the extra time to date and make sure we are marrying the right person all this can be avoided. There is signs when you date people just choose to avoid the flaw and try to live with it. The key is if you can not stand it when you are dating you will really not stand it when you are married. Save yourself from all the snooping and the invasion…Do Not Look Past The Faults Guys…Take Time To Date and Get To Know One Another…You can avoid the 5 with wisdom when dating…Ask yourself is this the one I can live with for the next 10 years if you say yes then by all means get married…if you say no I need more time then he/she is not the one…If you say 10 years is to long you are not in Love you have a crush and you need to get over it…Just little oh me opinion…Shortlady

By shortlady 52 on 08/26/2008 8:56 pm
James Gemmell

The underwear on the head might be one indication for sure, Winery! Ha! Or if you walk in and he’s not alone.

By James Gemmell on 08/21/2008 2:12 am
No Way-No How -No McCain

James, “Or if you walk in and he’s not alone.” Ha!…..I hate it when that happens.

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/21/2008 3:41 am
Frank Peterson

All of those are circumstantial and can be accounted for with other interpretations—any list like that may cover some areas but are generally are highly unreliable.

By Frank Peterson on 08/21/2008 2:14 am
James Gemmell

Yeah, he can claim he was just a victim of circumcision….er, circumstances.

By James Gemmell on 08/21/2008 7:03 pm
Frank Peterson

Jim you bad boy- lol

By Frank Peterson on 08/21/2008 7:19 pm
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