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Relationships | 08/21/2008 12:00 am

Five Ways To Know That Your Husband May Be Looking Elsewhere

By Robert Stephan Cohen
© iStock

 

Editor’s Note: Robert Stephan Cohen, a partner in Cohen Lans, LLP, is one of the top divorce attorneys in the United States, having just successfully represented Christie Brinkley in her landmark custody battle this summer. Past clients include Uma Thurman, Lorraine Bracco and various Trump wives. He is the author of Reconcilable Differences: 7 Keys to Remaining Together from a Top Matrimonial Lawyer.


1. If your husband has blocks of unaccounted-for time, especially in the evening or on weekends, beware.

2. If there is a family computer, log on and see what the search history, sites visited or navigation history and e-mail trails suggest. Find out where your "cache" is on your Internet browser and see if it is being cleared regularly; it may suggest he is trying to hide what sites he’s been visiting. Anything strange. There are laws affecting computer access and you should check with a qualified professional.

3. Check his cell phone calls if the bills come home to determine whether there are unfamiliar repeat calls. If the bills don’t come home, wonder why.

4. If he starts talking about a woman at the office or someone he met — even in an innocuous way — it suggests he has another interest.

5. If his sexual appetite with you wanes or changes in a material way it may be the beginning. My experience, however, is that it is easier for men to engage in sex with their spouse and others in the same time frame. It’s usually a dead giveaway when women stop having sex with their mate. They are wired in a way that generally makes multiple sex partners off limits for them.

Reminder: Before you confront him, see a capable divorce lawyer.

Mr. Cohen practices law in New York State. This blog does not and should not be construed to give legal advice in connection with any of the subject matter contained herein. You must always seek to speak with your own lawyer for legal advice. 

160 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Jane Cougar Melonhat
Oh my green friend, where I am it is already 10.30 in the morning! Sleep well!
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/23/2008 3:37 am
kermie b
It is 4:50AM here. I cannot sleep until the sun comes up.
By kermie b on 08/23/2008 3:49 am
Jane Cougar Melonhat
Are frogs nocturnal animals? And we are totally hijacking this thread.
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/23/2008 4:01 am
kermie b
Janey, I don’t know about frogs, but I am definitely nocturnal. I see my boyfriend once a week and I fell asleep after making him a great dinner tonight. I try, really try, to be flexible. Gosh, I try. No nookie for me tonight. Oh well.
By kermie b on 08/23/2008 8:23 pm
Jane Cougar Melonhat
This site certainly expands my vocabulary (had to look up “nookie” - I hope I got it right). K*, when I first read your post I thought you would say “…fell asleep after nookie”. When I read “dinner” I had to grin and thought to myself “poor boyfriend” and of course “poor you”! *you have to come up with something else. How am I supposed to make something endearing out of this?
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/25/2008 4:20 am
kermie b
Oh, Melonhat! For you I will change this.
By kermie b on 08/25/2008 1:44 pm
Jane Cougar Melonhat
Wow!! For me?!!! BIG BIG HUGS, Kermie! What an honor!
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/25/2008 2:51 pm
kermie b
Right back at you.
By kermie b on 08/25/2008 2:57 pm
Jane Cougar Melonhat
Hey, kermie, you still there? Isn´t it funny how you don´t even know the real name of someone, but still feel very familiar?
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/26/2008 1:09 am
kermie b
Melonhat—Weird isn’t it? Maybe we are related somehow. I have an uncle who lives in Germany. My background is French Canadian but I have always lived in the U.S. I am having my usual insomnia tonight. I took some Kava Kava. Here is it almost 3AM.
By kermie b on 08/26/2008 1:44 am
Jane Cougar Melonhat
Hmmm, I do have relatives in the States. They go way back to the 1850s. They are spread all over the east but mainly New York State and NYC. So that might actually be a possibility. Hope you can get some sleep tonight. I´m off to work. See ya later, my green friend.
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/26/2008 2:08 am
kermie b
I grew up in Upstate New York and my father’s relatives are from Ticonderoga, but I don’t think any family is left there.
By kermie b on 08/26/2008 12:22 pm
Jane Cougar Melonhat
I never heard of Ticonderoga. My relatives are based in the Binghamton-area. It´s difficult to find something like that out on the Internet without wanting to give away to much private information for everybody to read. But I guess we are rather relatives in spirit than real life relatives.
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/26/2008 12:40 pm
kermie b
Actually I grew up in the Binghamton area, I have a sister who lives there. My family was in the Catskills (that’s mountains, not skilled cats!) for my childhood. I came to NYC on my own. So it is still possible we are related. Do you have any French Canadian or Polish relatives? This is so bizarre.
By kermie b on 08/26/2008 1:21 pm
Jane Cougar Melonhat
Nope, no French Canadians or Polish relatives. But still uncanny.
By Jane Cougar Melonhat on 08/26/2008 2:27 pm