I thank God that none of these issues are in our marriage. My husband and I only have eyes for each other and neither one of us has any desire to look elsewhere for any hanky-panky with another. I’m also thrilled to pieces to be married to such an honorable man, I’d hate to be single or in the market for a relationship in this day and age. When you find a Diamond, you truly do count your blessings!

Don’t we have enough to be paranoid about? I’m just not gonna worry about this one! I refuse to become a snoop, or a nag, or ………..now let me see, when was the last time I checked his email? lol

No, I don’t pursue them now, but if a relationship based on adult values and adult behavior would happen, I would risk it. Notice, I say I would risk it, but, frankly, Maizie, at this age and with all the red tape involved, I don’t see the reason to re-marry. Unless, of course it involved millions and pre-nups and that kind of stuff, and we all know that will happen when chicken have gold teeth, honey, as we like to say in the south….

My husband says that all men are pigs. the pigs are divided into two categories… the rooters and wallowers. the rooters cause havoc. they are always trying to get outside the pig pen. they destroy things and aren’t content to be contained. The wallowers are the pigs that are content pigs. they like to lay in the mud with the other pigs and wallow around with pigs but don’t destroy the pen.

There are requirements for adultery to happen, and one of them is privacy, and the other, lack of transparency. So we started our 25 year marriage with preventative parameters. One is that we share an email address so that I see everything that comes to him, and he sees everything that comes to me. The email we send out is always under our own names, just from different computers but from the same account. It also helps us to stay on top of what’s happening in each others life. We’ve promised each other to discuss any flirtatious desires or behaviors that happen to us, or foster a desire to flirt with the opposite sex. I had a vivid dream about an old boyfriend that we discussed - and it was very cathartic for both of us. Adulterers need privacy to have sex. A guideline suggested to us by our faith alerts us to the danger of being alone with anyone who is not the spouse you have committed to. Modern sensibilities may balk about never being alone with the opposite sex, but I can assure you that most of the time it means merely keeping a door open, or if that isn’t possible, even having people nearby. Also, avoiding intimate conversations, and finding ways to carpool with more than one other person. Once a person has made that commitment, then to break that commitment and be alone with another person, means he has already crossed the Rubicon. Keeping the commitment acts as psychological buffer against things developing subconsciously or consciously for both parties. I have also know many people who engage in online chats who have left their families to marry nearly complete strangers. This is why emotional transparency is so important: asking each other how each is feeling and doing that day. Looking each other in the eye - creating a baseline of affection and attention. And recognizing that attraction to other people is probably natural, and sometimes spontaneous, but dangerous, and specific steps must be taken to avoid becoming caught up in the attraction. The other important component is a separate commitment to a religious standard that proscribes fidelity. Stronger than my commitment to my individual spouse on any given day or hour, especially when he’s been irritable - my most powerful and sustaining commitment is to the marriage and to my commitment to God to be faithful. The key was finding someone who believed and committed to the marriage and to God to the same degree I did and who continues to reaffirm his faith and commitment to God. His commitment to me is an outgrowth of his personal faith. We both know that if we waver in our commitment to God, we will waver in our commitment to each other. We really are trying to create a dynasty of love, not just for us, but also for our children, and grandchildren, and on and on. It’s really a vision that keeps us going, and helps us stay in love and devoted to each other. Without vision, the relationship perishes.