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Sheila Nevins | 04/03/2008 12:00 am

She Lied About Her Age

Sheila Nevins

Fiction

April lied about her age.

When she was 14 she said she was 15; and she got the job as counselor at summer camp.

Now things were different; she lied the other way.

She even lied to the vet about her dog’s age — she was so used to lying.
She said Maya, her Shih Tzu, was eleven when she was truly thirteen.

Maybe she just didn’t want Maya to be too close to the age when most Shih Tzu should be dead. She thought that might be the reason.

But, why did she lie about her own age? April would alter her age by 1 – 10 years.
She even lied to her elliptical cardio-machine when it asked for the age of the exerciser.

Why? Did she want the gift of extra-time? Had she wasted too much of life?

She was not sure why she did this, really.

But, she was not alone.

Close friends, some celebrated, told her of their various infidelities, their SSRIs, their true weight, and about their vibrators; yet, they lied to her about their age — as if age was an embarrassment they needed to disguise.

Shameful digits.

Was it vanity? Fear of life expectancy? Fear of being discarded, obsolete?
How tragic, she thought, not to be proud of earning time on earth.
How tragic not to bellow an advancing number.

She was confused by her lying. She was mostly truthful.

So, when her vet called to say that Maya, her Shih Tzu, needed eye-surgery, April panicked.
In dog years, a week was a month. Her heart pounded.

“Dr. McGreevy. Dr. McGreevy. Maya’s really thirteen. I lied when I said eleven.
Is the operation still safe?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, “just a small lid cancer. She’s not a pup, but she’s strong, so let’s stop it before it spreads. Maya will be fine. Why did you lie, April?
Why did you say Maya was eleven when she is thirteen?”

“Frankly, Doc.,” she said, “I don’t know, exactly.”

And, then her tone changed.

“Just keep her alive, Dr. McGreevy. My Maya means the world to me.”
 
Read more about: Fiction

39 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Vala SG-1
No I don’t lie about my age. I once worked with a lady who had a great saying, “I’ll tell you my age, but not my weight”. I decided to adopt that philosophy!
By Vala SG-1 on 04/03/2008 5:56 am
Alice Alice
Yes, I’ll lie about my age, but I’ll tell anyone my weight. As one wag said, “A woman who’ll tell her age will tell anything.” I prefer to be more discreet!
By Alice Alice on 04/05/2008 12:17 pm
Kate Hewitt
But of course I lie about my age, it’s one of the plusses of being a female; being cagey about your age. Unfortunately, it fools no-one because as soon as you say something like, ‘I never tell my age’ or, ‘Age is just a number’ you’re done for. People immediately think, ‘she’s over 40/50/60 then.’ I found they started to closely inspect me, not something I wanted when hoping to head them off at the pass with my feeble excuses. So, now I just tell out and out porkies (porky pies, … lies …rhyming cockney slang) So, when I say ‘45’ they either think, ‘Yes, she could be….’ or they think something like ‘She’s obviously had a hard 45 years.’ I’m not ashamed of my age, but I honestly think we are judged on our life numbers when we should not be. Think, when was the last time you saw a newspaper or magazine article with the MAN’S age printed right at the start? Very rarely, but if it’s about any woman, the magic number is up there, sometimes on the leading lines. Therefore there’s no way I’ll give info out to those who specifically ask for it. Obviously, I tell the truth to doctors, or to the tax man or anything official, I’d be a fool otherwise, but for all others, I just think of a number and subtract 5,10 or if I’m being really silly, 15! (Now, if only I’d not told the children my real age!) lol.
By Kate Hewitt on 04/06/2008 11:57 am
Karen Hittinger
I believe in the old adage: “You’re only as old as you feel.” Numbers & birth dates mean nothing to me.
By Karen Hittinger on 04/03/2008 6:48 am
IAM Woman
I once told an 18-year-old guy that I was 16. Some other “guys” who knew my real age (12) made me tell him the truth. Since then, I’ve told everyone my real age — but I try to avoid the question if I can. I remember when we used to say, “Never trust anyone over 30.” What were we thinking? At 16, 17 ,18, you just don’t realize that 30 comes sooner than you think. Before you know it, it’s 40, 50 and so on. I am encouraged that MaDonna is turning 50. If she has a cosmetic surgeon, I wish I knew his/her name. Not that I would use him/her. I am sure I could not afford the same doctor that MaDonna uses — he/she is probably on her payroll. Since turning 40 (a few years back) I always tell people I am a year older than I actually am (a couple of months before I have the actual birthday). That way it makes it easier to slip into the next year. I don’t think I am afraid of getting old as much as I am afraid of becoming helpless. After watching my mom — the most intelligent woman in my life — slowly succumb to Alzheimers, I must admit, I am afraid I am looking into my future.
By IAM Woman on 04/03/2008 6:50 am
pac_maam (middle aged and menopausal)
I’ve never lied about my age (50), probably because people tell me I look great. But since I’m unemployed and job hunting, I do feel that it can be a barrier to even securing interviews. I feel I absolutely need to keep my hair colored so I continue to look younger and, consequently, more employable.
By pac_maam (middle aged and menopausal) on 04/03/2008 6:58 am
Gianna Bracco
maam: I can relate….I, too, am currently job-hunting at 52, and it’s a different experience. I think I look pretty good, but probably not 40! I always wonder if age is a factor, but, of course, there’s no way to find out since no one is going to admit to practicing age discrimination! I read so many articles about employers looking toward the older job applicants to fill their needs, but that is not what I see in the real world. I think a lot of women who are fine with aging have stable jobs, maybe decent marriages….but if you find yourself in your 50’s trying to find employment, or maybe male companionship, it’s a whole different story. Good Luck to You….
By Gianna Bracco on 04/03/2008 2:57 pm
pac_maam (middle aged and menopausal)
Thanks Carol. In my opinion, employers don’t really want experience because it’s expensive. So I’m 50, unemployed and seeking male companionship. I’m not sure if I’ve hit the trifecta or struck out. Paula
By pac_maam (middle aged and menopausal) on 04/03/2008 5:43 pm
cloud pic
April’s fiction beautifully written (condensed! so short and bittersweet!) resonated with my own ambiguous feelings about relentless aging. I don’t lie about my age, in fact, onceuponatime I told my teen-aged students each year, as they fed my ego by telling me their disbelief. Now, my world has become very small. I am caring for my dear and clear 91 year old mom. My age seems to be toting up fast as those numbers fly by on the gas pump and jolts me with much the same dismay. These months, years are leaking away, too fast, too small. I still don’t lie, but no one doubts my truth.
By cloud pic on 04/03/2008 8:52 am
Kay Sara
Beautiful writing, cloud pic. Recently saw a study that proved a part of our brain in the frontal lobe perceives time and as we age that part of the brain slows down making time seem to go by faster. So there is a physical reason to support the saying “the older I get, the faster time passes”.
By Kay Sara on 04/03/2008 10:01 am
Kay Sara
I love every year I’ve earned! I have done a lot with my life and I look forward to being an eccentric old lady!
By Kay Sara on 04/03/2008 9:08 am
Bella Mia
Time is relentless. I’m an ethics educator and I am afraid to lie to others for fear that I will start lying to myself and lose touch with reality at some level. Even little things can take us off course in small ways that can create larger problems later on. So I’ve never lied about my age. It is more controversial to tell people how many children I have because people can have such judgmental reactions. However, when I started graduate school, when I introduced myself to my learning team, and told them I had 7 children, they gave me and ovation. I really do deserve it!!
By Bella Mia on 04/03/2008 9:09 am
Marilyn Miller
I’m 60 and I’ve never lied about my age - - probably because I sure don’t act it and so I’ve been told don’t look it! But it’s the “acting like it” that the trick!! My advice is DON’T look your age - unless it’s 21 - LOL!!
By Marilyn Miller on 04/03/2008 10:52 am
Christina
I don’t lie about my age, I just don’t tell! As Karen Hittinger wrote: “You’re only as old as you feel”… so true. Some days you feel like a teenager and some days you feel like you’re 95 and have one foot in the grave - that mostly happens on Monday mornings when the alarm sets off at 2.30 am! Only thing I do not do anymore, is having candles on the birthday cake - the fire alarm would go off! Why are we really so obsessed with age? Do we really have to know the age of every person you meet, talk to, watch on Tv/the movies or read about?? What about the newspapers? Are your papers the same as here (Sweden) - when writing about somebody, it’s always “Mr So-So, aged XX” or “Mrs XX, aged XX”… Why is that? It’s so silly.
By Christina on 04/03/2008 11:48 am
Lucinda Blackwood
Christina, yes, the papers here always state the age of the person right off the bat and I find that so distracting and unneccesary! The rest of the story is colored by one’s thoughts of the person’s age: “Wow, I’d have never guessed he/she was that old”, instead of “Wow, what a wonderful/dreadful person and what a great/horrible thing they’ve done”. If the press absolutely MUST broadcast ages why not do it at the end of the news piece so we can focus on the important part. If we focused more on people’s acheivements or needs or opinions or ideas instead of the age we might learn something. d
By Lucinda Blackwood on 04/04/2008 5:17 pm