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Sheila Nevins | 04/03/2008 12:00 am

She Lied About Her Age

Sheila Nevins

Fiction

April lied about her age.

When she was 14 she said she was 15; and she got the job as counselor at summer camp.

Now things were different; she lied the other way.

She even lied to the vet about her dog’s age — she was so used to lying.
She said Maya, her Shih Tzu, was eleven when she was truly thirteen.

Maybe she just didn’t want Maya to be too close to the age when most Shih Tzu should be dead. She thought that might be the reason.

But, why did she lie about her own age? April would alter her age by 1 – 10 years.
She even lied to her elliptical cardio-machine when it asked for the age of the exerciser.

Why? Did she want the gift of extra-time? Had she wasted too much of life?

She was not sure why she did this, really.

But, she was not alone.

Close friends, some celebrated, told her of their various infidelities, their SSRIs, their true weight, and about their vibrators; yet, they lied to her about their age — as if age was an embarrassment they needed to disguise.

Shameful digits.

Was it vanity? Fear of life expectancy? Fear of being discarded, obsolete?
How tragic, she thought, not to be proud of earning time on earth.
How tragic not to bellow an advancing number.

She was confused by her lying. She was mostly truthful.

So, when her vet called to say that Maya, her Shih Tzu, needed eye-surgery, April panicked.
In dog years, a week was a month. Her heart pounded.

“Dr. McGreevy. Dr. McGreevy. Maya’s really thirteen. I lied when I said eleven.
Is the operation still safe?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, “just a small lid cancer. She’s not a pup, but she’s strong, so let’s stop it before it spreads. Maya will be fine. Why did you lie, April?
Why did you say Maya was eleven when she is thirteen?”

“Frankly, Doc.,” she said, “I don’t know, exactly.”

And, then her tone changed.

“Just keep her alive, Dr. McGreevy. My Maya means the world to me.”
 
Read more about: Fiction

39 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Anna Pana
Hi Jane, I am Anna and would like to tell you how I handled the “age” problem with my man. I met and fell in love with my partner in 2004 when I was 44 which is fine except for the fact that in my eyes the problem was his age-37. We have been living together since that time and until about a month ago he kept guessing my age, it was always kind of a game and he thought I was around 38! Hiding my age has proved really stressful as whenever we went on holiday for example I had to hide my passport, I could not fill forms with personal details in front of him and the list goes on.. Now that he knows my age I am more relaxed about our relationship and the fact is that he is not bothered about my age. Just today we were talking about women who are in relationships with much younger men-Gina Davis and Demi Moore and I asked him if it would matter to him if I was 55. Guess what he said? No!!! He said that age is not of importance to a relationship if you get along with your partner. I hope I have thrown some light on your relationship and wish you the best of luck. If your man loves you he too will not be bothered-it will be a real test for his feelings for you…
By Anna Pana on 04/06/2008 6:08 pm
J B
When I met my now husband…I was well aware of the eight year age difference…my friends say seven and a half…but screw it…he’s eight years younger than I am! Not only did it NOT bother him…he was looking for a woman who “knew herself”. Certainly, that was me. I had been there, done that, had the mug and t-shirt. We have a great marriage…we learn things together all the time.
By J B on 04/07/2008 8:30 pm
Anne  Osbourne
About six years ago, when I was 45, I started telling strangers, when the age subject came up - that I was 10 years older. For example, I was visiting a favourite American woman relative a few years ago and as a treat she booked us into her day-spa. I had a facial. I listed my age as 55 and spent a very happy hour with the beautician telling me how fantastic my skin was and how incredibly youthful I looked for my age. (She said she thought I dressed really stylishly too.) Recently, in a big, expensive department store here in Dublin, where all the assistants are about 25 and a size 8 (that’s size 2 for you Yanks) I was trying on a dress and getting a bit of a withering look from the girl at the cash desk. I asked her opinion? “Too small? Too youthful?” I fished. She said it looked “ok” on me. “Ok for a 62 year old?” I asked? (I like to think I’m a pretty good looking 52 year old. It helps to live in a country where there’s no sun for most of the year.) “You’re 62?” she said in an amazed voice. “Yeah, and I breast-fed five kids too!” I added, properly gilding the lily. (I only have one child). She gushed away, though I didn’t buy the dress in the end. Try it. In a world where women over 30 freak out about wrinkles and a woman of 50 is thought - at least by the young - to be in the granny class, this works a treat - at least for me.
By Anne Osbourne on 04/08/2008 10:52 am
Michelle A
The only women that should lie about their age are the ones that truly look honestly younger than they are. Unfortunately, that’s almost never the case. There’s nothing worse for example than a 45 year old saying they’re only 39 when they really look 50.
By Michelle A on 04/09/2008 1:55 am
Cathy Gavin
Well……….just saw your show on Charlie Rose tonight. So good. Love the wowOwow factor. Thanks for the belly laugh regarding age-lying. I simply and totally believe that I am only as old as I make my mind up to be at any given moment.
By Cathy Gavin on 04/08/2008 11:19 pm
GenX Mama
I never understood lying about my age. After divorcing my father, my mother (until very recently) hardly ever let anyone know how old she was. She dated a guy for almost ten years, and he never knew her age. I don’t look twenty anymore. For that matter, I don’t look thirty anymore. But with age comes wisdom, and I’m taking a lot of pride letting people know just how much wisdom I’ve accumulated. ;-)
By GenX Mama on 04/09/2008 2:54 am
Roberta Clement
My mother passed away 3 weeks ago at the ripe age of 96. She never ever told anyone her true age. She took great care of herself as well as her family and was an inspiration to us all. Her gravestone reads “Ageless”! Kudos to my mom.
By Roberta Clement on 04/09/2008 8:34 am
Marlise Parker
I’m 27. Been so for 41 years, so I’m getting rather good at it. Someone told me once to pick an age and stick with it, so I have. The trick to it all is to keep learning. I noticed the article about being bored as a teen, and I never was. Best of all, I’m not now. This month’s (year’s?) project is to learn about American architecture because I love to make things in a graphics program. This, of course, leads me into American history, with forays into where Americans came from. I’m retired, I guess, from doing computer things, but there’s a breath of fresh air in finding tutorials on perspective, for example. I love my friend in Australia (I’m in Denver) for teaching me about our favorite graphics program and telling me how her ferocious cat is adjusting to a move up the coast. She lauds me when I do Constructive Things and chides me when I take my roommate LaMolli out for a walk at three in the morning. I learn every day, and that’s because I’m 27 still. The old lady in the bathroom mirror with all her lumps and distortions disappears when I look up how to say “trash” in Spanish or discover how jicama can change a recipe. I watch the political debates and skirmishes with distress. I watch Charlie Rose even when he says “between you and I”. The trick to being an age, any age, is to enjoy learning. Boredom only occurs when one pulls out all the stops and becomes stagnant. Go, ladies. Make us think.
By Marlise Parker on 04/09/2008 3:05 pm
T Nase
I stopped lying about my age when I became old enough to drink legally. I had the advantage of looking younger than my years, so it was worth it to admit how old I was because I knew I would get the “you’re kidding” resonse. Now I’m 70 work full time and laugh a lot. I’m also beginning to look my age. It took a lot of years to get here so I’m not lying, I’m bragging.
By T Nase on 04/09/2008 6:54 pm