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Sheila Nevins | 06/12/2008 12:00 am

Losing One Thousand Two Hundred and Fifty Pounds

© Shutterstock

An Interactive Fiction

How Ann Marie lost the same 25 pounds again, and again. Please help her.


Ann Marie had lost some twelve-hundred-and-fifty pounds over the course of some fifty years
Not at once but
In an eternal draconian struggle with the same
Twenty-five pounds.
Fiercely attacking this poundage with
Doctors of various specialties
Psychiatrists, hypnotists, and a
Variety of obesity gurus.
She had subjected herself to various weight-loss schemes, pills, and mixes offering
Fat people miraculously gone
Skinny
Proudly wearing bathing suits.
She had herself been a before and after picture
More times than she could count her lifetime of calories.

Yet despite it all,
The lure of a potato chip, pecan pie or
Mousse au Chocolat would
Overcome her resolve which had allowed her to
Duel against corporate America, wrinkles, and ill-tempered offspring.
She could control almost anything in her
Destiny, but
The lure of a provocative food destroyed all restraint.

What was she to do?

She began each day thinking thin and thin-king each day
Was the beginning of the rest of her new
Life. But —
As soon as anything turned sour,
A bit less than perfect; i.e.,
A nose pimple, an erratic child
An error in any calculation
She became obsessed with the idea of
Something welcoming and good to
Eat.

Now she worked with women who forgot
Lunch. But – not Ann Marie, for
As soon as the big hand hit 12 and the
Little hand affectionately touched it,
She became fixated on what she would munch-lunch
On.

Since her grandparents had miraculously
Survived the pogroms in Russia
She thought she might be the victim of a DNA
Alteration producing panic over
Starvation. This was the only way
She could justify these obsessive
Cravings.

As for a plate of cookies
One was never enough. If she had one
She had them all and this was her
Downfall.
Married to Jack Sprat
(He took a bite of a cookie and
Saved the rest for later)
Loving him mostly,
She detested this stingy part
Of his personality.
For him a box of cookies could
Last forever.
For her it was a matter of completion
And, to her credit, she always completed a task.

On Thanksgiving Day
She brought home
A twenty-five-pound turkey
She realized suddenly the visual horror of this extra weight.
She stared at the menacing bird that
Stared back at her. "I’m this turkey,"
She thought "I could feed a family of four … with leftovers."
She felt self-loathing and disgust at her excess
Submerging her misery by
Eating a large bowl of nutty cranberry
Sauce
While waiting for the bird to deservedly
Roast.

One day she relieved her
Crotch itch by buying big pants.
She stopped her blouse buttons from
Separating by
Buying over-sized blouses.
Catching a glimpse of herself in the
Mirror she hated the largesse of what
She saw and promised
Herself that tomorrow could/would be another
Skinny day-starter.

But the very next day in the
Cafeteria line
She was obsessed with the smell and look of shoestring fries
Passing the celery by without a
Whiff.
Again and again, this behavior re-occurred
There was no hope for Ann Marie
For once she had surrendered to potatoes at lunch
Her diet-day was ruined.

With abandon
She gorged herself on
A Banana Split
3 scoops of coffee ice cream
4 puffs of whipped cream
7 mixed nuts
8 ounces of hot fudge — never enough
1 cherry on top
She ate this alone
Shielding her pig-out from her human workmates
Who previously had thought so highly of her.

Yet, ever hopeful — that night,
As she sinned herself to sleep
With some left-over Halloween frozen Reese’s Pieces,
She vowed to think thin.
And as she prayed the Lord her soul to keep
She whispered aloud to herself,
"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my skinny life."

Would she make it a thin one?

 

Read more about: Diet, Fiction, Health

65 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

mary lou s
now mosquitos bite me.
By mary lou s on 06/14/2008 12:59 am
K O
Hi Mary Lou, Heartfelt and heart warming. All the best to you, and here’s a little hint from another mosquito magnet. Rub fabric softener strips on your skin, and they’ll buzz over to somebody else. Stay healthy, and stay in touch.
By K O on 06/14/2008 11:43 am
mary lou s
thanks, lily. i knew about boiling up plantago vulgarus and eating it like spinach, but not scrunching it up and applying it to mosquito bite. a former friend says whatever poisons mother nature places in your path, she places the antidote nearby.
By mary lou s on 06/15/2008 10:50 pm
mary lou s
thank you, kitty.
By mary lou s on 06/15/2008 10:40 pm
To the beach ~~~
Star— The Japanese government (for centuries a thin population because of their diets and beliefs) has instituted a new ‘waistline measurement’ law and an ambitious program to slim down the population. Even fast food has come to Japan. People ages 44-75 must have their waists measured to ensure in healthy ratios, if they are ‘non-compliant’ they must take classes to relearn health habits. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/06/13/MNLV118ISH.D… They call it “Metabo” and actually at first I thought it was a little weird….but then I having been host mother to many Japanese students and loving their culture I can understand……and also as it says in this NYT’s piece it’s like the ‘non’smoking’ campaigns and does help in the sense that enourages people as a nation to stick together re health issues…ie people trying to stop smoking etc. “Metabo” sounds better too….and puts the emphasis on health and going forward toward that. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?pagewanted=2&_r=…
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/14/2008 2:04 pm
Star Lawrence
I read the NYT and shuddered when I saw that story—more well-meaning (we assume) health police. I thought it was scary. Just an official license to harass and try to control people—and make more discrimination allowable.
By Star Lawrence on 06/15/2008 11:44 am
To the beach ~~~
Star- Our own Surgeon Generals over several administrations has said this is a national crisis of the last 20 years that can be attributed to advertising and the rise of fast food….I didn’t see it as an attempt to discriminate but to counteract unhealthful (and overwhelmingly powerful) cultural influences. It does seem pretty aggressive…if Japan has national health care that could be a reason why…ie to reduce raised health costs.
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/17/2008 12:36 am
To the beach ~~~
Star- The questions was what we would advise Anne Marie etc. It isn’t about the surface ‘stuff’ excuses, justifications, symptom, results, emotionalizing but what is the underlying belief system that supports her unhealthy habitual pattern. It’s about awareness and reeducation. I went to Ted.com to see if there was an explanation of belief systems (Ted.com takes the very best thinkers/doers on any topic and they give a core 18 min. speech.) I found Tony Robbins. Have been to his seminars. Here’s his explanation of why people do what they do. Anyone is free to disbelieve it. Since Ted.com brings together the smartest and most effective people in the world—-I’m interested in their thoughts. http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/96 People can talk about something until Bin Laden decides to become a ballerina….the fact is that everything changes from changing the underlying belief. I wondered if obesity patterns would reflect largely track with ‘red state’ ‘blue state’ beliefs (which also correlate with education and per capita income—these are patterns that all go together) and wasn’t surprised to find a CNN map that depicts patterns of obesity state-be-state over last 20 years. A serious health problem in the US. Scroll down a bit, and then can see how winds up with today. The result of “Fast Food Nation”, factory farms, sugar filled drinks, etc and the acceptance of unhealthy eating as a cultural staple. http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/fit.nation/obesity.map/
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/15/2008 3:18 pm
Star Lawrence
I am sorry—does Marie live in Japan? I guess she will be measured. My advice would be to refuse. By the way, the bash-a-thon is in full cry at the NYT over the Metabo deal. Have fun! When you get to France, incidentally, I hear people are getting bigger there. Your work is never done.
By Star Lawrence on 06/16/2008 10:28 am
To the beach ~~~
Star-I mentioned it because it was related and I thought pretty amazing….also I thought the Metabo word was nice.
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/17/2008 5:01 am
To the beach ~~~
Collete Dowling also wrote “Cinderella Syndrome” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNPEiH0ZLOM And the “Frailty Myth” http://www.amazon.com/Frailty-Myth-Redefining-Physical-Potential/dp/0375… As Tony Robbins says we are a ‘therapy culture’ and the alarming rise in our obesity rates in the last two decades precisely correlates with the rise of ‘therapy culture’ and our becoming a “Fast Food Nation.” (and I have two sisters who are psychologists, one a school psychologist the other an ordained minister who was pastor of a large church and I once was Director of Academic Operations of a College of Health and Human Services, (ie psychology, sociology, nursing, gerontology, physical therapy, kinesiology, etc etc…and recruited from a large field of candidates, also because one responsibility was managing a major building project underway) There is no question of physical/chemical basis for behaviors and that’s why it is always advised to get check ups when there are problems. But I agree with Tony Robbins….the idea of better living through chemicals seems to be the pervasive cultural default, instead of healthier living and education. ie eat poorly so don’t get the nutrition that is needed like all the B vitamins, then depressed, then take a pill for depression. America’s extremely high obesity rates are a symptom of the widespread pattern of unhealthy approaches, and lack of quality nutritional education….which any overweight person should immerse themselves in immediately….with a nutritional bible like “Prescription for Nutritional Healing”. I hope that if/when Obama is president he revives The Presidents Council of Youth Fitness. And if interested, people would greatly improve their own health as well as health of the planet by becoming vegetarians: http://ezinearticles.com/?The-1-Way-To-Save-The-Planet-And-Become-Health…
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/15/2008 3:54 pm
To the beach ~~~
Serotonin imbalance is an imbalance in nutrition. 85% of serotonin comes from good nutrition and if lacking (as if lacking other nutrients) will binge….http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/mental_health/depression.htm Point goes back to good nutrition (which is impossible to have on the Fast Food/junk food/high calorie/empty nutrition diet of most Americans) which supports overall good health and good habits. Hence the importance of good nutritional understanding and the acknowledgeable ‘bible’ is Prescription for Nutritional healing. It costs $17. If diets are complete in nutrition will overeat because body is starved for the nutrients needs—not the fatty, empty foods and impossible to eat right if don’t understand good nutrition and what it does. If believe in food as nutrition/the best medicine will not have weight problems. Zeroing in on just one body chemical like serotonin is not good nutrition. Collete Dowling is not a nutritionist. Most people’s lives would be greatly enhanced by having one and in the absence of that, thoroughly reading “Prescription for Nutritional Healing” the #1 bible of good nutrition. http://books.google.com/books?id=2s_q2y_J3rwC&dq=prescription+for+nutrio…
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/15/2008 4:08 pm
To the beach ~~~
Opinion is not intolerance it’s opinion and how you choose to frame anything, Lily, has nothing to do with me and everything to do with your own perspective.
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/17/2008 4:59 am
To the beach ~~~
Lily, You’re right my sisters credentials are not mine—I have far more experience than either of my sisters who are both very educated, professional/licensed women in helping professions, and both overweight as adults and both have taken anti-depressants. I’ve been/done neither. As much as I admire both, certainly wouldn’t take nutritional/exercise advice from either. “You are so very fortunate to enjoy good health.” I happen to be legally disabled with a scary/debilitating neurological condition and am healthy because I am pro-active, informed, have a great professional background and keep learning. I was also Director of a College of Health And Human Services for a reason, and managed major medical center design also for a reason, and have researched and written major university grant proposals [that were funded] for preventative nutrition/fitness/health center programs. Very few mental health/medical doctors have more than negligible nutritional education, that is why consumers need to be very proactive. Only one-third of the 125 or so medical schools in the country require students to take courses in nutrition. At Cornell University’s School of Medicine the nutrition course is eight hours. Two-thirds of of the medical schools in this country offer only elective courses in nutrition. The Surgeon General has said Obesity is the #1 health problem. It isn’t about looks/size it’s about health. Being overweight/not exercising greatly increases the incidence of/accelerates cancer, asthma, cardiovascular disease, stroke and diabetes. • In the last 20 years US obesity rates doubled among adults. 30% of the adult population is obese. (this rise correlates with the rise of fast foods) • In the last 20 years overweight rates have tripled among adolescents – increasing the number of years they are exposed to the health risks of obesity. • Type 2 adult diabetes is now being diagnosed among those under 18, including half of the pediatric diabetes cases, when previously pediatric Type 2 diabetes total was almost unknown. Overweight children with Type 2 diabetes are at risk of suffering complications of kidney disease, blindness and amputations. •61% of overweight 5- to10-year-olds have at least one risk factor for heart disease, one -quarter have two or more risk factors. Though the primary behaviors causing the obesity epidemic are well known and preventable: physical inactivity and unhealthy diet, still: • Only 25% of U.S. adults eat five or more servings of fruits and vegetables each day. • Less than 25% of adolescents eat five or more servings of fruits and vegetables each day. • Over 50% od adults do not get sufficient activity to provide health benefits. • Over 30% of those in grades 9–12 do not get sufficient physical activity. Direct health costs related to obesity were estimated at $75 billion in 2003. For those under 18 annual hospital costs related to obesity has more than tripled in the last 20 years. A head of Center for Disease Control discussing the serious cultural epidemic of obesity and overweight and consequences: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/14384657#14384657 It is very difficult for people (especially over the age of 40) to maintain healthy weight without solid nutritional knowledge (which is very low in the greater population) We don’t teach it in schools except in a very superficial manner. The surgeon general has stated that addressing obesity/fitness would have the single greatest impact in decreasing chronic disease in individuals and the medical crisis in the US. We have a therapy/over medicated/pill-popping/obese culture from people not being informed enough. It is nearly always up to the individual to become self-educated. “Some people are born with these genetic defects that run in families.” That’s obviously true, but it is not the norm, and anyone with any problem should always be screened by doctors. I think that the general population is smart enough to know that since it is repeated constantly throughout US society PSAs, etc. From a major study of environmental (ie ‘Fast Food’ nation, inner cities without access to fresh produce, etc.) and genetic factors in weight: “Environmental changes can significantly raise or lower average weight—as, in fact, they have….the arrival of television…. the proliferation of fast food.” “Just because something is genetically caused doesn’t mean it can’t be behaviorally controlled. As an example, phenylketonuria, a genetic disease whose symptoms are commonly averted by altering the patient’s diet.” “To the extent that genetics overlaps with fattening behavior, old dichotomies have to be chucked. You can’t just blame fat people for eating too much. Nor can you assume that because fat is hereditary, there’s nothing they or society can do about it.” “The authors propose a “behavioral, genetic model” of overweight… “creating healthier external environments,” along with “teaching vulnerable persons to adopt life-long prudent habits.” Ergo: Their conclusion was that there is a biological predisposition tp suffer harm from common environmental factors. [Some are more inclined to follow the cultural/environment…ie ‘Fat Food Nation” relatively sedentary lifestyle.] “It’s more of a struggle for some than for others.” Not exercising, eating unhealthy foods, drinking/smoking are major contributors to depression. “You are entitled to your beliefs. I do not agree with them. That is my privilege. You are not always right.” I wonder why you are so defensive. I state my opinions…..obviously no one is always right. I certainly am not. It is everyone’s “privilege” to state their opinions. I sincerely doubt my opinion has that much, if any, influence on anyone. Grown-up women make their own choices. I have absolutely zero control over what others think or do. “This is a forum to share information.” Yes, it is. I don’t happen to believe in ‘victim’ views that many embrace [including the disempowering language and beliefs that go along with it], while also decrying their inability to break addiction cycles. And you’re right, I wouldn’t be a fan of Collette Dowling because I personally know so many better educated more qualified individuals. She went back to school AFTER 9/11 to receive an LMSW in social work (ie sometime in the last 5 years.) She is not one of the hundreds of highly respected medical professionals I’ve worked with for over 20 years at the top teaching medical centers in the US, nor is she a Phd, nor a nutritionist. I’ve said repeatedly that I am very empathetic with people who have addictions, and have observed very painful, costly eating disorders and would really like to see people live free from those cycles as described in the Anne Marie story. The main contributors to cancer, stroke, heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, depression, are being overweight, inactive, and not eating fresh healthy foods. There are plenty of conditions that are genetic…but they can be helped by diet and exercise. There are 1.2 million of new cancer cases each year 560,000 died from cancer last year, our second leading cause of death The American Institute for Cancer Research’s Diet & Cancer Project Report based on 4,500 research studies was the first ever international review of diet and cancer, and is the most comprehensive report ever in the field of diet and cancer. The AICR Report (again based on 4,500 separate research studies) concluded that our dietary choices play an overwhelming role in helping to protect us against, and fight, cancer [and other diseases] Eating right, plus staying physically active and maintaining a healthy weight [not being overweight by more than 11 pounds as an adult], can cut cancer risk by 30% to 40% Their recommendations coupled with not smoking has the potential to reduce cancer risk by 60% to 70% As many as 375,000 cases of cancer, at current cancer rates, could be prevented each year in this nation through healthy dietary choices A simple change, such as eating the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables each day, could by itself reduce cancer rates more than 20% The American Institute for Cancer Research spends $54 million to research in diet, nutrition and cancer at universities, hospitals and research centers in 41 states and in 6 other countries. Nutrition Hotline (1-800-843-8114) American Institute for Cancer Research 1759 R Street N.W. Washington, D.C. 20009 1-800-843-8114 (202) 328-7744 in Washington, D.C. Web: http://www.aicr.org The Report’s Advice to Individuals: 1) Choose predominantly plant-based diets rich in a variety of vegetables and fruits, (legumes) and minimally processed starchy staple foods. 2) Avoid being underweight or overweight and limit weight gain during adulthood to less than 11 pounds. 3) Take an hour’s brisk walk daily, and also exercise vigorously for a at least one hour in a week. 4) Eat five or more servings a day of a variety of vegetables and fruits, all year round. 5) Eat seven servings a day of a variety of cereals, grains, legumes, roots, tubers and plantains. Minimally processed foods. Limit sugar. 6) Alcohol consumption is not recommended. If consumed, limit alcoholic drinks to less than two drinks a day for men and one for women. 7) If eaten at all, limit intake of red meat to less than 3 ounces daily. It is preferable to choose fish, poultry and meat from non-domesticated animals in place of red meat. 8) Limit consumption of fatty foods, particularly those of animal origin. Choose modest amounts of appropriate vegetable oils. 9) Limit consumption of salted foods and use of cooking and table salt. Use herbs and spices to season foods. 10) Use refrigeration and other appropriate methods to preserve perishable foods as purchased and at home. 11) Do not eat charred food. For meat and fish eaters, avoid burning of meat juices. Consume the following only occasionally: meat and fish grilled (broiled) in direct flame; cured and smoked meats. 12) Do not smoke or chew tobacco. For myself this diet doesn’t go far enough because I think all organic/non-processed/non-GMO/no sugar and vegetarian is healthiest for individuals and the planet. Although it certaintly would be a major step forward for the overall population to adopt.
By To the beach ~~~ on 06/17/2008 12:30 am
Star Lawrence
I good eye rolled when I saw him, too…
By Star Lawrence on 06/16/2008 10:33 am