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A Friend Stopped By | 02/16/2009 6:00 am

Though Strong, Women Pay for Success in Palm Beach

By Laurence Leamer
© Shutterstock

Editor’s Note: Laurence Leamer is a bestselling author and journalist. His latest book, Madness Under the Royal Palms: Love and Death Behind the Gates of Palm Beach, hit bookstores in January.

The people in my Palm Beach condominium recently hosted a rooftop dinner party to celebrate the publication of my new book, Madness Under the Royal Palms: Love and Death Behind the Gates of Palm Beach.

When I called to ask friends Cynthia Friedman and Vicki Bagley, I obligatorily inquired if they were coming with escorts, but I knew that they would be arriving alone. They are both strong, handsome women of a certain age, and on this strange island of the mega-wealthy, there is a price to be paid for such impudence.

I sat next to them during dinner, and when I listened to Cynthia talk about her role as a Democratic activist and fund-raiser and Vicki reflecting upon her multitude of entrepreneurial activities, I kept thinking how sad it is that the more powerful a woman you are in Palm Beach and the more secure you are within your own being, the more likely you walk alone in a town full of nothing but couples. Of course, the two women could have arrived on the arm of two of the silly, tedious men who serve largely as escorts, measuring out their lives in free meals. But neither wanted that.

When I left that evening, I started thinking about the whole history of women in Palm Beach and the twisted consciousness that has stayed the
same for more than a century. This tale begins in 1891, when 23-year-old Mary Lily Kenan, a southern belle of diminished circumstance, was invited on a cruise on a yacht. One of the other passengers was 61-year-old Henry Flagler, who, along with John D. Rockefeller, founded Standard Oil of New Jersey and was one of the wealthiest men in America. Flagler, the son of an itinerant minister, was married, but he had an eye for the well-turned ankle and he began an affair with the young woman.

Kenan was limited in her career options, and one has to have a certain appreciation for her social daring. Flagler had other mistresses, but when this creator of modern Florida built a railroad down the East Coast and constructed the largest hotel in the world in the jungles of Palm Beach, he needed a queen for his island paradise. His then-wife was mad or half-mad and when, in 1901, he had the Florida legislation put through a bill allowing him to divorce his wife, the 71-year-old mogul married his 34-year-old mistress. Next to the gigantic Royal Poinciana hotel, Flagler built Whitehall, an immense mansion for the new Mrs. Flagler to reign supreme.

This is the archetypal Palm Beach relationship. Twelve years later, Flagler died, leaving Kenan behind as the wealthiest woman in America. She married her youthful beaux, Robert Bingham, who got her to rescind part of their prenuptial agreement deeding him $5 million in case of her death. She died two months later. Some people think Bingham murdered her, but the most authoritative researchers think she died of syphilis, given to her either by Flagler or Bingham. It is not a pretty tale — but it repeats itself over and over again.

First a wealthy old man marries a penniless young woman. The man dies leaving a wealthy widow who takes up often with a younger man. Thus go the seasons of life in the paradise of Palm Beach. For the most part, it is rather sad and sordid, a cynical tradeoff based on the dubious premise that one can buy youth.

36 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Sam Mirando
More Palm Beach, more Leamer? More schadenfreude or more publicity for his book?
By Sam Mirando on 02/16/2009 7:22 am
Sam Mirando
And, for a definition of schadenfreude, watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGrHW3XJFY0
By Sam Mirando on 02/16/2009 7:35 am
Wow Trop de classe
Mr. Leamer you are such a good writer, and Palm Beach “It is not a pretty tale — but it repeats itself over and over again.” How true. Although I’ve seen plenty of this scenario myself. Best of luck with your fascinating book.
By Wow Trop de classe on 02/16/2009 7:48 am
Ms. Dee
Well, don’t feel too bad for Vicky and Cynthia. They may be very happy with the way they live their lives. Rich or poor, independence is a good thing.
By Ms. Dee on 02/16/2009 8:02 am
Wow Trop de classe
Ms. Dee, Independance is a very good thing, indeed.
By Wow Trop de classe on 02/16/2009 8:03 am
Ms. Dee
Myabe a little more leisurely if you’re bankrolled, but I can’t imagine that it’s any more fun.
By Ms. Dee on 02/16/2009 10:20 am
nanchan u
I look forward to reading more of Mr. Learner’s work. This was a fascinating piece. The only thing I would think of to add is that strong women are often alone by choice, especially after a certain age, EVERYWHERE, not only in Palm Beach.
By nanchan u on 02/16/2009 8:06 am
Chrome Toe
what a sad tale really. and it’s oddly well timed for me personally. Over the weekend my husband and i atteneded a formal industry event. one of the young men in our industry brought a drop dead gorgeous 32 year old woman. my husband is 52. We have a good marriage. the kind of marriage a lot of people envy for various reasons. we’re only 6 years apart in age. we are loving and enjoy each other and have really good fights. the kind that don’t end in permanent regrets but with both of us saying what we really think. I love him a lot. and i know he loves me. And at this industry function i watched this gorgeous woman very openly and obviously hang all over my husband. It broke my heart. It broke it because I had it shoved in my face that the better my life gets. the more power I have as a person. the LESS desireable I get. but the better his life gets, the more power he gets. the more money of course. He gets MORE desireable. it’s an unequal power structure that I pray doesn’t ruin us some day. I see him as a bigger man than that really. but i wonder how many of those women saw their husbands as bigger men than that. it’s just a scary thing. and i hope i cope well with my diminishing youthful sexual power and don’t become one of those over botoxed over cut up despearte looking women of a “certain age”. i hope i can embrace the power that comes with having done a lot and knowing a lot and living a good life.
By Chrome Toe on 02/16/2009 8:22 am
nanchan u
Oh, Chrome: your letter broke MY heart. My boyfriend is very wealthy, very good looking and very personable and I have to put up with that kind of crap all the time when we go out. It does hurt, doesn’t it? But what I have never understood is, why would any woman, old or young, rich or poor, throw herself at any man knowing full well that he is married/taken/not interested in her…. fill in the blank there. Why do they feel the need to “capture” every man in the room? Are they afraid to be alone? Before I met my boyfriend, I was alone a LONG time and both he and I agree it was time well spent for me. I was able to heal from a disastrous and abusive marriage, raise a fabulous (if a little frustrating at times, but aren’t they all!) teenager, and grow a business and career. That means more to him than any trophy (of course, he’s been married to a trophy, it ended very badly so he’s learned). My only other comment is that, just to play devil’s advocate here, maybe you misunderstood her behaviour. Maybe she was just trying to make conversation…. Remember, sweet Chrome, that he married YOU. He didn’t marry you because of any other reason than that you are you. No other person can be you (gosh, I sound sappy here, but you get my point). Virtual hugs from the Northwest.
By nanchan u on 02/16/2009 9:24 am
Chrome Toe
Hey nanchan - hugs back from the Northwest! small world huh? I can’t believe how many people wrote me about that post. i guess it’s something that hits home for us all huh? I was alone a long time before i met my husband to. Eleven years. also time well spent. And i do get your point. and i have no doubt that my husband loves me for me. if you knew me.. you’d know he’d have no other choice lol. but like i told Deburca. this aging shit just aint all that fun all the time.
By Chrome Toe on 02/16/2009 2:07 pm
DeBúrca obj
If your husband is worthy of your love your aging process won’t make a difference. I wonder if the wealthy women who spend their days obsessing about how they can stay “youthfully attractive” to their husbands, become a bore to them in the process because they have so little self worth? Meanwhile, perhaps you might stare that woman hanging all over your husband in the eye the same way you would have when you were young and a woman was hanging on him, and tell her how inappropriate her behavior is and say it with the grace and self confidence of a woman who knows her worth has nothing to do with the natural aging process. I also have to ask, are these women who are on their own in Palm Beach any less happy than the woman WITH some man who they think only values them for their looks?
By DeBúrca obj on 02/16/2009 9:25 am
Chrome Toe
ya… as much as I hear you about the whole “if he loves you it won’t matter” thing and even totally agree with it. It’s just one of those things that’s difficult as time goes by. I think i’m doing it well. I’ve still got real (saggy lol) boobs, no surgery and not even hair die (yet). I wear what I like most of the time and say what I think. I figure i’ll take what life brings me as I get older. but it’s just not easy…
By Chrome Toe on 02/16/2009 2:05 pm
Lucinda Herbert
Chrome Toe, I was wondering whether you expressed any of these feelings to your husband. Did you share that it made you unhappy? and I wonder how did your husband respond to the 32 year old. You may find that while it was very flattering, he couldn’t envision spending a great deal of time with her.
By Lucinda Herbert on 02/16/2009 9:55 am
Chrome Toe
Oh ya… my husband is very savvy. We talked about it afterwards quite a bit. he already knows that aging is different for men than women. He didn’t “respond” to her outside of being really flattered. which is super understandable. it’s not like women are the only ones who are afraid of losing their sexuality or getting old. He thought it was incredibly rude of her to get up and move away from her date for the night and sit by him then lavish attention on him. As a man he thought that would be a terrible experience and thought she was a crummy person for it.
By Chrome Toe on 02/16/2009 2:00 pm
Lucinda Herbert
Chrome Toe, It definitely sounds like she lacked manners and good for him to have picked up on it — not only did she abandon her date, she clearly had little regard for you. More than likely she is an opportunist or gold digger. It sounds like you married the right guy!
By Lucinda Herbert on 02/16/2009 9:22 pm