Joni Evans | 03/21/2008 12:42 pm

The Luxury Cockroach

So, this morning, I had breakfast with my good friend, Geraldine Fabrikant. She writes all things financial for The New York Times, and we were discussing the erupting volcanoes in the present economy when she told me a great story:

A feisty friend of Gerry’s was on a two-night vacation in Naples, Florida, at a super-chic hotel. After a wonderful day at the pool, she returned to her room to discover a cockroach that had been enjoying life near a hotel picture frame. Thinking fast, she managed to trap and kill the insect. Thinking even faster, she wrapped up the bug carcass, put it into a bag and brought it downstairs to the crowded lobby reception desk.

There, she leaned over to the receptionist, and said in a somewhat ominous voice that she needed to discuss something with her that she was SURE she wouldn’t want anyone else to hear. In a secluded office, Gerry’s friend opened her bag to reveal its contents and said: "I don’t think you want to have this dialog in public."

The horrified receptionist did not. The evidence went back into the bag and Gerry’s friend’s stay was extended one extra night. Free.

Read more about: Gossip, Travel, Vacation

47 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I would have checked out of the hotel. They couldn’t pay me enough to live with the anxiety of the bug’s friends coming out for the wake. But that assumes I would have been able to kill it (as opposed to running from the room, screaming). I really hate bugs.

By Lesley Goldberg on 03/21/2008 1:27 pm

e-mail alert

Leslie, are you the absolutely terrific sculptor who used to live in san francisco?

By Mugsy Peabody on 03/21/2008 8:33 pm

e-mail alert

Cockroaches in a hotel room don’t scare me near as badly as swarming termites after you lay in bed. I had that luxury happen in Belize. A new room and no charge for the rest of the trip partially made up for that terror I had as I ran screaming into the festivities of the main hotel patio in my pj’s covered head to toe in bugs. That was definitely the most interesting New Year’s ever.

By Austin Gal on 03/21/2008 1:32 pm

e-mail alert

I won’t sleep with bedbugs! The rest I’ll stomp, swat or flush!

By Tammy Moore on 03/21/2008 2:30 pm

e-mail alert

Taught in Bangkok one year. Learned to make friends (not) with bugs of all sorts, like the rude finger sized centipedes & giant roaches. One day I was cleaning my tiny room & along sashayed Mr. Roach. I grabbed my flip flop, slammed it hard on the head & kicked it down the hall. Forgot about it & dressed for work. Suddenly the thing staggered back into my room, all crooked, limping -its feelers searching for CNN. I was shocked & awed by the sheer audacity of the thing. I grabbed a can of roach spray (should have used it the first time) - held it inches over it’s head. SSSSSSSSSS- sprayed the beep out of it & then hockey pucked it off my balcony. She shoots, she scores. I still loathe roaches & cringe every time I see one.

By Tony Galento on 03/21/2008 2:40 pm

e-mail alert

Eeeeuuu, and that is why I am the bugman at our Florida home. LOL! When the cost of professionals doubled in price I took on the dreaded chore myself. There is nothing worse than the flying palmetto bug here. Yowsers!

By Beachlady ydalhcaeB on 03/21/2008 3:04 pm

e-mail alert

Hairspray. It will save your sanity and nerves when you are traveling. Spray spiders, roaches, all flying and crawlers. Watch their little legs freeze up. Then you can kick them, flip them or pinch them up in a towel to flush them. Check for bedbugs before you even move your bags into the hotel room. If they are in your bed, either change rooms or hotels. I’m serious.

By Joan Smith on 03/21/2008 3:55 pm

e-mail alert

LOL so true !

By Tammy Belt on 03/22/2008 8:21 pm

e-mail alert

Yes, I read that the dreaded bedbug is making a re -appearance due to international travel & the ban on DDT. So we have to look out for bugs once more! I like the gambit of taking a roach down to reception and getting compensated for it, tho. But how does one check for bedbugs? I would like to know. I have been fighting urban roaches for years (boric acid is great) but bedbugs?

By Pamela Munro on 03/21/2008 4:23 pm

e-mail alert

You are not going to like my answer, the mere thought of it will make you squirm. When i was 19 and hitchhiking around Europe and Northern Africa like all good suburban hippies did in 1970, a friend taught me how to check for bedbugs. You take a thin, long bladed knife and put it into the seam of the bed. If it come s out clean, no problem. If it comes out bloody…pick up your backpack and run. Yes, this test has logistical problems, how do you carve into a bed in a room you have not yet paid for? The quality of accommodation i was seeking on $5.00 a day was definitely a pay up front deal. But this method literally saved my skin a few times. At my current age I have stopped travelling with a knife unless it is plastic and I am using it for cheese on picnics and I am naive enough to believe the mattresses I am paying these dollars for are mostly bug free….good luck and i told you you would not like the answer.

By Jaki Scarcello on 03/21/2008 7:56 pm

e-mail alert

Oh, pshaw. Here in Texas, we (or, I at least) consider the cockroach the State Pet. We have these big, flying tree roaches that sometimes get in the house. They have a lovely, deep shiny mahogany color. Once, I put a spot of paint on the back of one to see how long “my” roach would remain in residence. They’re great survivors—prehistoric, y’know.

By Carrie On on 03/21/2008 4:47 pm

e-mail alert

LOL! I’ve had my share of the Cockroach Rodeo myself. Even seen Roach races. The bed bug is small and usually in packs. They will be where the mattress meets the boxsprings.

By Tammy Moore on 03/21/2008 5:41 pm