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Joni Evans | 03/21/2008 12:42 pm

The Luxury Cockroach

Joni Evans
So, this morning, I had breakfast with my good friend, Geraldine Fabrikant. She writes all things financial for The New York Times, and we were discussing the erupting volcanoes in the present economy when she told me a great story:

A feisty friend of Gerry’s was on a two-night vacation in Naples, Florida, at a super-chic hotel. After a wonderful day at the pool, she returned to her room to discover a cockroach that had been enjoying life near a hotel picture frame. Thinking fast, she managed to trap and kill the insect. Thinking even faster, she wrapped up the bug carcass, put it into a bag and brought it downstairs to the crowded lobby reception desk.

There, she leaned over to the receptionist, and said in a somewhat ominous voice that she needed to discuss something with her that she was SURE she wouldn’t want anyone else to hear. In a secluded office, Gerry’s friend opened her bag to reveal its contents and said: "I don’t think you want to have this dialog in public."

The horrified receptionist did not. The evidence went back into the bag and Gerry’s friend’s stay was extended one extra night. Free.
Read more about: Gossip, Travel, Vacation

47 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Bella Mia
Roaches are great survivors like some politicians.
By Bella Mia on 03/21/2008 5:30 pm
Upanaway
Yes, Bella, and the population turns “red” when hit extraneously with a “killer.” ;-)) The Asian Cockroach is a small thing, but the American roach is enormous…I’ve experienced the “American” roach only once in my life—it walks like a large spider. YIKES. Me, organic-minded, once suffered the tortures of the damned when my condo in Dallas was sprayed (but not mine, of course). Guess where those little things scampered for protection? Out came the boric acid, corn meal, and white vinegar (we used to spray the pastures with that stuff to keep horses free of miseries, and also added it to their grains so they’d sweat it out and flies stay away), and an outing to find “Horse Apples” to cut in half and spread around - VOILA! They went back home, I think. That one infestation took me 2 years to get to the point where I could open a cupboard door, or lighten a dark room before entering it, without cringing. That was disgusting. In restoring 2 homes to National Historic Trust regulations, I once found ‘them’ behind ceramic tile, and canvas walls, in droves. I vividly recall thinking, “I’m going to restore every home I live in from now on.” I don’t like anything that moves, and doesn’t talk, except butterflies, birds, and most fish.
By Upanaway on 03/22/2008 5:01 am
e. wolynski
If you’ve ever lived through an infestation of bedbugs, it’s a relief it’s ONLY a cockroach. Bedbugs are the worst thing that can befall you. Seriously. As a child, I lay in bed with the flu, watched this small bug walk across the ceiling, than jump off and land on my pillow with a little “ping”. All night long I heard “pings” on the pillow (how on earth did they know to land on the pillow?). In the morning, I was covered with bites. My mother mustered the forces. All the sheets and bedclothes had to be boiled. She inspected the mattresses, pulling off nests. We had to leave for a day, while something vile was sprayed. We stamped them out, finally. If you stay in a hotel room that has bedbugs, they’ll climb into your luggage. It’s a huge battle eradicating them. Be happy with your roaches.
By e. wolynski on 03/21/2008 7:04 pm
Tammy Moore
Ever heard of a piss ant? Some call them fire ants. The worst sound I’ve ever heard was a child screaming because he was covered with them. Those things will cover a foot or leg before you realize they are there.
By Tammy Moore on 03/21/2008 7:44 pm
Linn Madsen
Looks like you’ve been invaded by another kind of pest - Spammers. See above post.
By Linn Madsen on 03/21/2008 8:48 pm
Tammy Moore
Linn, Glad I’m not the only one who noticed. I’m not interested in a site like that. Plain and Simple. Glad you noticed it too.
By Tammy Moore on 03/21/2008 9:10 pm
Upanaway
Where was the SPAM…did I miss something again? I don’t think this Reply thing works.
By Upanaway on 03/22/2008 1:02 pm
Tammy Moore
I don’t know if it’s a spam but I’ve noticed a dating service popping into a conversation. I’m still learning to use the reply.
By Tammy Moore on 03/22/2008 5:39 pm
Jenifer Lee
In Florida, they are Palmetto bugs. While not the best that the tropics have to offer, they are definately part of the day to day. Hurrah for getting a free night’s stay.
By Jenifer Lee on 03/21/2008 9:02 pm
iris odonata
Kudos to your friend Gerry for her tact and diplomacy. In an age of tantrums and scenes, as witnessed on reality tv and as someone in a service field, I am grateful for clients/patrons such as she. This allows the receptionist dignity to handle the matter in a courteous manner herself/himself. If we want to see the world be a kinder, gentler place, then we ourselves must demonstrate grace and generosity. Besides, maybe the cockroach had been upgraded from the roach motel after a faux pas there.
By iris odonata on 03/21/2008 9:45 pm
Pam D
FL. has Palmetto Bugs (Look like cockroaches)- taking that down to the lobby and getting an extra night, is exactly the best thing to do :)
By Pam D on 03/21/2008 9:58 pm
kenju kenju
I once discovered a huge cockroach in my room at the biggest, most luxurious hotel in Palm Beach - and I was apparently too stupid to take it to the manager. Darn!
By kenju kenju on 03/22/2008 12:29 am
Upanaway
Look at what you started, Joni. This feeds into our most basic fear. Hotel rooms are a story and more. The absolute worst I can recall in my experience including foreign countries was, believe it or not, 3 years ago in Austin. Unable to secure my favorite B&B for my return to see a wonderous oncologist, I let an online hotel reservation program help me, and knowing it was “Cedar Season,” I opted for one of the large chains, since my stay would only be overnight. Good gravy, it was raining, non-stop, and cold as Billy-O, but worse was the hotel room. Nary a blanket, much less a mattress covering on the bed. A transparent sheet loosely dangled from the mattress, at 11 PM when I turned back the bedding. In shock, and beginning to chill, I phoned “the desk” and was told no one could do anything, because the “other people don’t like to work when raining start…” so there was only 1 employee on the premises who could not leave the front desk. In desperation, I tried to purchase something warm to drink from a machine - they were all empty. A few people were outside my room complaining, in as much “shock” as I. Desperately tired, I thought of many friends I could phone, but didn’t have the heart to waken anyone, and many were out of town, anyway, so I was tempted to see if I could check in to the hospital for a 23-hour admit. Having the greatest respect for the best physicians I’ve ever experienced in one place, it just wasn’t in me, yet. My departure was scheuled for the next morning, so I thought I could surely survive a few more hours. Those hours ended up being lived out at a nearby restaurant bar! With all that cover-up, one person recognized me! I was mortified at my own stupidity, but the following week severely paid for that misearble hotel with a URI, and the “reservation” group would not budge to my threats, other than to admit they would not refer to that particular hotel again. That franchise, incidentally, was owned by an Austin M.D. HA! I did get my turn!
By Upanaway on 03/22/2008 5:20 am
Hedda Lettuce
My favorite Chinese restaurant changed owners after decades of being owned by one family. I decided to try the new owners out to see if they had changed the wonderful soups that I was used to eating there. The waiter brought my lovely bowl of soup and lo and behold, there was extra “meat” floating on the top! Apparently, this critter had been squashed in a stack of soup bowls as it was quite flat and quite dead! I flagged the waiter and quietly asked for another bowl of soup. The new owner came to my table and apologized profusely. They had just had the restaurant sprayed for bugs. This I understood, having owned my own restaurant for many years. It’s a constant battle in the city to keep the critters out of your restaurant! For an entire year, I received a free pound of jasmine tea whenever I ate there. They still make the best soups, by the way.
By Hedda Lettuce on 03/22/2008 7:11 am
J B
Many years ago there was a wonderful and popular restaurant named Maxwell’s Plum in NYC. My husband and I were having lunch there at a table for two and parallel to our table was another table for two. As their bread tray was put down by a very professional looking waiter an enormous cockroach surfaced from the bottom of the tray and appeared on top of one of the beautiful rolls. Within a second the very professional waiter removed the bread tray with great aplomb and carried it back to the kitchen as though he was carrying a souffle. I never forgot this experience and we left immediately.
By J B on 03/22/2008 9:08 am