Sheila Nevins | 05/22/2008 6:14 pm

To Lose a Child

A Poem

Based on a personal experience, a poem to honor mothers who have lost their children in Myanmar and Sichuan. Is there a worse pain than the loss of a child?

To Lose a Child

I watched my friend suffer
When her child died
And I knew that she would die
Though Breathing
For the rest of her life.

Your child’s pain is greater
Than your pain
The agony of birthing repeated
With the slightest wound
To this soul of your soul.

Baby has a fever
Mommy’s heart stops
But death
Is unspeakable heat
Burning fire forever
Never to be put out.

My friend is lost to this world
She has left with her child
There is no sorrowful song
No possible symphony
The shriek of the dirge would empty
The concert hall.

I watched my friend suffer
When her child died
And I knew that she would die
Though Breathing
For the rest of her life.

Read more about: Death, Myanmar, Parenting, Poetry, Sichuan

80 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Let’s not forget about fathers along with the mothers who have lost their children. Since many of these children were in schools that were evidently shoddily built perhaps the Chinese will use their grief and outrage at the government at last. These events are true tragedies and we should not bandy that word about the way we do to describe situations that may be terribly sad, but certainly not tragic. And yes, Star, we who live in relative comfort cannot fathom the pain and suffering that many peoples have to bear.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 05/22/2008 10:46 am

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The Chinese schools and buildings lost in the earthquake were not shoddily build, they were just old. So old and over used and there’s no money to rebuild them, so they just use them. Tragic, yes, but it’s reality. I don’t know if you know it, but China’s most famous celebrity, Jackie Chan, was the first person to donate $1,500,000 (US) to help the cause. And he, and president Hu Juntang were some of the first to actually go to the scene in Sichuan. Jackie visited those in hospitals to give comfort and hope to those whose losses were unbelievable. He has also promised to help fund the rebuilding of the destroyed schools. I really admire Jackie Chan for his generosity and humanity in those tragic times.

By Patrice Baldwin on 05/22/2008 8:38 pm

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I heard that many of the houses were left standing, but the brand new school just recently built and occupied came down and killed so many of the children therein. What to say?

By Jenny Oops on 05/23/2008 1:00 am

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China earquake brings faulty school design to the fore ………. In 2004, the 30-nation Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development released a study, “Keeping Schools Safe in Earthquakes,” concluding that schools “routinely” collapsed in earthquakes around the world because of avoidable design or construction errors, or because existing laws and building codes were not enforced. “Unless action is taken immediately to address this problem, much greater loss of life and property will occur,” the report says. The risks are growing, experts say, as populations in poor regions continue to rise and the world, rich and poor, shifts ever more toward urban centers, many with well-charted seismic threats. In recent years, there have been deadly school collapses after earthquakes in Italy, Algeria, Morocco and Turkey. Most notably, in Pakistan on Oct. 8, 2005, at least 17,000 children died as more than 7,000 schools collapsed after a powerful jolt shook a mountainous region near the Indian border. …………. http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/05/14/asia/schools.php

By Bella Mia on 05/25/2008 4:58 pm

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Dear Lily of the Valley, My heartfelt sympathy to your sister in the loss of her darling daughter.

By Estimada C on 05/22/2008 7:29 pm

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Oh, Lily, we knew that. :):):):)

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 7:44 pm

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Girls: there were no “bandying” met to be.Whether you live in realitive comfort or a cardboard box,the loss of a child for father and mother is both devastating and tragic.Yes Arlene, we too are a Christian family and rest in the knowing we will see ALL the children as well as other family members again someday.

By kathy hurt on 05/22/2008 11:08 am

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Kathy: You obviously have misunderstood my post.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 05/22/2008 11:15 am

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HEAVENS GATE by Jeanette Foresta I heard your cries, and people gasp, Your life was pulled from my very grasp. Through the mud I ran, was late, did you made it to heavens gate? Don’t know how long it would take. I am forever in this heartbreaking ache. The heavens fill, new souls released. We die, reborn, our lives unleashed, sent back into this world of grief. I don’t want to come back to this world too soon. Just not ready to leave the womb… To be born again into this whirl? To go through storms, and ocean floors? To come back to life once more? To learn to open up that door? To learn to love…to love once more? *********** I am so sorry, and saddened that their government is allowing their people to suffer so much? I feel funny about getting creative on such a tragedy. I wrote this poem a few years ago, and re-wrote it just now to share.

By Jeanette Foresta on 05/22/2008 11:16 am

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What a beautiful and thought-provoking poem.

By Brooklyn Gal on 05/22/2008 11:58 am

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Nice poem, Jeanette. The Tibeteans (sp) say that ‘spirits’ run around looking for a copulating couple when they want to come back in human form. Just imagine, all those little ‘spirits’ flitting about. Those Tibeteans may be right. What happened in China the other day is beyond immagination. Not sure I can even attempt to understand how the people must feel. I understood though, that the government was right there trying to help, as opposed to the Myramar situation. One thing that earthquake might help to change is relations between China and the rest of the world or even some of China’s practices practices, their behaviour towards Tibet and Taiwan. Think it will ease ill feelings at the Olympics and maybe give the Chinese government second thoughts about a lot of things.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 8:00 pm

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Sheila - the truth of your poem is so painful, so poignant. My nephew, a beautiful, gifted young man, died in an automobile accident several years ago. My sister-in-law is the mother in your poem, still breathing but not the same woman as before. I cannot imagine that loss. A prayer of comfort to all the mothers who ache for their lost children.

By Maurine H on 05/22/2008 11:31 am

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Dear Maurine, My heart aches for your sister-in-law in the tragic loss of her precious son. No one should have to suffer that pain.

By Estimada C on 05/22/2008 7:38 pm

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Beautiful, Sheila. It’s amazing the sobering effect you seem to have on the wowOwow threads. A few well-chosen words can encompass us all. How do we ever forgive ourselves for not being our sisters, never truly sharing their suffering, ordering wine and sushi and thinking of other things.

By Ms. Dee on 05/22/2008 1:01 pm