Sheila Nevins | 05/22/2008 6:14 pm

To Lose a Child

A Poem

Based on a personal experience, a poem to honor mothers who have lost their children in Myanmar and Sichuan. Is there a worse pain than the loss of a child?

To Lose a Child

I watched my friend suffer
When her child died
And I knew that she would die
Though Breathing
For the rest of her life.

Your child’s pain is greater
Than your pain
The agony of birthing repeated
With the slightest wound
To this soul of your soul.

Baby has a fever
Mommy’s heart stops
But death
Is unspeakable heat
Burning fire forever
Never to be put out.

My friend is lost to this world
She has left with her child
There is no sorrowful song
No possible symphony
The shriek of the dirge would empty
The concert hall.

I watched my friend suffer
When her child died
And I knew that she would die
Though Breathing
For the rest of her life.

Read more about: Death, Myanmar, Parenting, Poetry, Sichuan

80 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Doc’s girl, After all these years - the pain just never goes away. God bless you, my sister.

By Estimada C on 05/23/2008 3:49 pm

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A soft, sweet touch on your shoulder, Doc’s girl.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 8:51 pm

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In a world of anonymity, where one feels strange, and a stranger, it is enlightening to use a machine, like a computer, to touch strangers and to feel this connection.

Thank you.

Sheila

By Sheila Nevins on 05/23/2008 11:24 am

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And thanks, Sheila, for the poem. I didn’t realize it had been 50 years since my cousin died; I got an email from my cousin reminding me. Then I read your poem, and mine came out. I think we are like candles, passing the light back and forth, to each other. Mazel tov.

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/23/2008 11:45 am

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I’ve also noticed, Shiela, how intimate the computer can be. Reasons must be interesting.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 9:07 pm

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Sheila, thank goodness for this machine. We touch each other with words. My youngest son, when he was barely speaking, used to tell me stories about “The Star River” where he honestly believed he’d “lived with God” before he “came through your tummy.” He said, in the Star River, “Nobody really talks, but they know what each other’s thinking.” It’s kinda like that here at wowOwow. Ir’s a true pleasure being touched by you in this way.

By Ms. Dee on 05/23/2008 2:27 pm

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Ms Dee, It sounds like your son was having ‘Past Life” memories. I hope he hasn’t lost this ability in growing up. Children are so open to their past lives.

By Dona Howlett on 05/24/2008 1:49 am

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I’ve lost so many grandchildren……. 30 years ago my daughter in law was murdered and two grandchildren kidnapped…….never to be found. The not knowing is far worse than death. I lost 2 (twin) grandbabies (on one of my birthdays) ….they only lived for 16 hours. I lost my precious grandson at the age of 16, 2 years after he had a heart transplant. In a period of three years I lost 15 memebers of my family. I agree…..every breath you take they live on with you. Time does not diminish pain……but it does, create barriers to make the pain possible to live with. Most memories are sweet and funny……I try to remember these the most…… I know they would not want me to be sad forever. My understanding and love to those of you who have also lost your beloved children. I send you positive energy on this Memorial day……..

By Dona Howlett on 05/23/2008 6:37 pm

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Oh, Donna, so much. What can I possibly say. Sabrina was out-of-line. Why, I don’t know, but I, too, think she should be looking at it. I, too, have learned with Mark’s and my experience that Joy is much better than Sadness. Sometimes I think I have lingered too long in the sadness and held Mark back from going through and out of his own sadness. One thing I have learned in caring for Mark — I’m a lot more selfish than I thought I was. Fascinating discovery.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 8:47 pm

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Oh, Dona, my heart is full with the pain of your losses. God bless you. With time we learn to stifle the tears that always begin to fill our eyes when we hear a certain song or a child laughing or pass toddlers wobbling into their mother’s arms, the fragrance of baby powder, in moments of solitude the memories gather…it’s then we offer up the prayer of thanksgiving and try not to cry because it ended, but smile because you had that time with angels. Thank you for sharing with us. Peace and grace

By beth willis on 05/24/2008 10:14 pm

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Dona, When tragedy strikes we often feel that we’ve filled some cosmic quota of loss and pain, and are somehow safe and to be spared future horrors - it is difficult to face that it isn’t so. There are no words for the losses you have had… I am just so sorry.

By Lady Mondegreen on 06/05/2008 10:33 am

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Too personal for a blogosphere, really. Sorry.

By Sabrina Lynn on 05/23/2008 10:46 pm

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Sabrina, can you tell us why you feel that way? You’re obviously among friends.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 8:56 pm

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Sabrina, my comments asking you why you felt ‘that’ way were much too sharp. I did not mean them that way. Exchanging feelings and experiences, from my experience, can help each of us live our lives better. My words were meant as an invitation, nothing more.

By Jenny Oops on 05/24/2008 9:01 pm

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Sabrina, How odd of you to find sentiment and true feelings off limits when people are expressing their pain. Possibly you should examine you own relationship to intimacy… after all who reads this far into something that does not hold their interest and does not touch them in some way? Sorry…

By jacqueline smith on 05/24/2008 10:04 am