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Liz Smith | 03/01/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Chelsea Handler, E!'s Ball of Fire … Larry Hagman Honored … Gerald McRaney to 'Get Low'

And what do Liz Smith, Joan Collins and giant ants have in common?
© Getty Images
“You’re a drunk, Sue Ellen, why don’t you just face it?”

"Really? Well, Joan of Arc would be a drunk if she was married to you!”

So it went between Larry Hagman as J.R. Ewing and Linda Gray, his TV wife, during the heyday of “Dallas.”

——————————

Larry Hagman, the quintessential likeable, sexy villain (the male Joan Collins) had been around for years on TV, playing second fiddle to Barbara Eden’s chastely covered navel on “I Dream of Jeannie.” “Dallas” made him a superstar, a status he still enjoys though he mostly rests on his laurels now.

On March 12, Larry will be honored at one of the year’s funnest events — The Texas Film Hall of Fame Awards, in Austin.

Billy Bob Thornton, Powers Boothe and Catherine Hardwicke will also be feted. Among the presenters — Dennis Quaid, Keith Carradine, John Cusack and — but of course — Larry Hagman’s co-star in so many gin-soaked TV battles — Linda Gray. Thomas Haden Church, the Oscar-nominated “Sideways” star, is to emcee.

If you want to get in on this — and I assure you it is glamorous and down-to-earth and a load of laughs — call 512-322-0145.

——————————

Madonna’s Oscar-night fete at the home of her manager, Guy Oseary, co-hosted with Demi Moore, was a big success. When I asked her for the ingredient that makes hosting duties fun, Madonna said, “We were trying to have a real dance party, not a corporate affair!” (Darlings, Madonna has never had a “corporate” affair. It’s always very personal.)  

La Ciccone elaborated: “Great music is the secret — and an open bar! By the end of the night, most of the ladies in couture were dancing barefoot.” Well, I saw Madonna dance on a tabletop in four-inch heels the night she won her first Grammy. Barefoot carousing ain’t so much. When I reminded Madonna of this, she said, rather primly, “I was very happy that night, Liz.”

There were no cameras at M and Mrs. Kutcher’s Oscar party, no barricaded press walls, just Demi and her hubby, Ashton, “twittering.” I guess they were alerting fans — we’re here, and you’re not! Madonna doesn’t twitter her fans. She knows they know she thinks they should live their own lives, and not be so concerned with her. (Until she tours again.)

I’m glad Madonna had fun; she always does when she dances. But I’d like to have seen her onstage at the Kodak Theater Oscar night. Why not? She has had more successful movies than her legend of flops would suggest, and twice performed memorably on the telecast. (Many fans consider her 1991 Oscar-night rendition of Sondheim’s “Sooner or Later” to be her best live television performance and her peak moment of glamour.)



Madonna made more money in concert last year than anybody else, male or female. She’s a star. Once upon a time — about 25 years ago — I questioned this. I came to see the error of my skepticism. Oscar could have used a shot of Ciccone.

——————————-

Casting news: The divine husband of delicious Delta Burke — one Gerald McRaney — in now onboard for the indie feature, “Get Low.” The movie also stars Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Lucas Black and Bill Murray. “Get Low” is based on the true story of Felix “Bush” Breazeale, a Tennessee recluse who planned his own funeral while he was still alive to enjoy it.

26 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

joan larsen
Liz - a little bit depressed?  What?  After having every big name in the country wishing you a happy birthday not that long ago?  Tell me a star that is remembered by too many more than their nearest and dearest on their birthday.  And "a comeback"???  As far as I - we - can see, you’re sitting on top of the world, so squeeze all the love you are being given for all you’ve got .   .   . and know that if you ever feel like you are not getting your share —- well, you just let us know!!!!!  For as we know as we reach a certain age, Liz:  when the tumult and the shouting dies, if you have LOVE, dear Liz, you have it ALL!!!    Joan
By joan larsen on 03/01/2009 11:19 pm
Beth Cornell
Here! Here!
By Beth Cornell on 03/02/2009 10:16 am
Pat M
An upcoming tribute to Joan Collins Q? I am totally on board for that one!  Liz, you’re 86, you’re fabulous. This ridiculousness at the NY Post isn’t even a speed bump, it’s a turn in the right direction. I recall an interview you did with Joan Collins in 2002 in which you wrote that "she took lemons and made lemonade, then made the lemonade into champagne"…take those words and run with them!
By Pat M on 03/02/2009 2:09 am
Beth Cornell
I couldn’t agree more with you, Pat. Nice comment btw. 
By Beth Cornell on 03/02/2009 10:15 am
Kelly In Texas

Madonna and her ilk are nothing to be worshipped. These "actors" and performers are simply entertainment. I get so sick of the idolizing of these "grown ups that play pretend".

Their political opinions are usually ludricous as their take on reality is skewed beyond belief. I have spent time around those Hollywood celebs and they are a supersillous lot.

Why anyone would care about anything other than their next "act" is beyond me.

By Kelly In Texas on 03/02/2009 10:13 am
Connie Godin
Chelsea Handler is a riot. Her appearance on "The View" to promote her book (which I’d love to read if I still read anything but the Internet, just think a few short years ago there was no Internet) well that appearance was my first intro to her and I was total laughter the total time. I do occ watch on E.
By Connie Godin on 03/02/2009 4:39 pm
Annie Mouse
What’s a New York Post?  I am sure you mean New York Past!
By Annie Mouse on 03/02/2009 6:57 pm
Rain in Minneapolis

HA-HA!

By Rain in Minneapolis on 03/02/2009 7:20 pm
Rain in Minneapolis

Madonna and her 22 year old men…..I know the guys are hot, but there is something extremely sexy about a man in his 40s.  He loses the "boyish" look and really becomes more masculine.  I’ll take a man in his 40’s over a 22 year old any day.   Who wants to make love to a boy?

By Rain in Minneapolis on 03/02/2009 7:21 pm
Sher Bailey
I could not agree more. Ew.
By Sher Bailey on 03/02/2009 11:03 pm
Kevin  Niziol

 

Ok I realize that the Sticky & Sweet tour was the biggest, and best you know….most money raking in tour ever, but c’mon. My thoughts are these, Madonna needs to make an album that actually gets heard on American radio instead of touring in Europe again. Madonna needs to get a great album together with 4 or 5 potential big RADIO hits and then tour the Radio Stations doing interviews and cool outreach to the people (read her potential American audience).

When I tried to get SINGLES played on local RADIO programs the RADIO DJs actually laughed. OK MADONNA fan we’ll play Vogue or Like a Prayer again….ARGH!! I realize that Hung Up & Sorry were big number ones in Europe and around the world but American Radio played Hung Up Once all around the world and then threw it in the trash can. 4 minutes got a bit more on air spins and then also got consigned to the dust bin of artists who have forgotten about the power of radio. Second singles like Give It 2 Me, Sorry, Don’t Tell Me, and anything off American Life were forgotten about even b4 they were sent to radio stations for possible Radio plays.

All my friends, people who loved when Madonna was all over radio and MTV either think Madonna died or gave up a long time ago or just doesn’t care anymore, why?, because they don’t ever hear a great new song to rock out to on the radio while their driving or where ever your listening to the radio.

If any LIVEnation people ever read this trolling FAN sites to read the weather patterns of fan likes and dislikes I hope to GOD they read this. When Distribution hacks forget the power of Radio to get fans around the world excited, radio listeners stop listening to the artists.

American Radio In General forgot why Madonna was cool sometime after Bedtime stories and Maybe around Evita, Ray of Light was a great album and all, but sold 1/3 of sales for Like A Virgin, and True Blue in america and American Madonna music sales and Radio air spins for new material since have had a few high points while on a downward trajectory to Radio heat death; examples being Frozen (ROL) and Music (music), Hung Up (Confessions), and 4 Minutes (Hard Candy).

That said Madonna is still considered a Big Star in the world, and in America an old, historical Big Star from the 80’s and early 90’s and her presence at Radio Stations would be like setting off a Nuke. "OMG, is Madonna in the radio station, is she singing her new song LIVE on the RADIO?"

Stop phoning in interviews to Radio DJs. When we listen we realize what you’re doing and that they the DJS and us the radio audience are not special enough to warrant a in person interview and so why should we pay any attention to an artist that phones in her interviews.

Hard Candy Madonna’s most recent album had several songs that could have been BIG on the radio including Dance 2night, Beat goes On, Give it 2 Me, Heartbeat, Incredible and Miles away but their potential was pissed away by someone, who? radio execs? A&R people? Distribution people? Whoever it was in the end the buck stops at madonna’s feet. How many number 1’s could she have had in AMerican radio with these songs? We’ll never know as they never got listened to on the radio.

It’s heartbreaking for this fan that so much great music and potential was again pissed away. I want all Madonna albums to have the promotion and radio expression they deserve. Madonna’s music isn’t just inspiring it rocks hard and it’s just soooo damn sad that a truly great artist is forgotten by the American audience.

Thank you for your time reading this and your attention. I hope that Madonna is once again The Queen of Pop(radio) and that greater attention is brought to her American radio audience, the fertile earth that helped her first Album, Like A Virgin, and True blue grow to Diamond status in the US. In a present like ours were MTV and VH1 show more dumb reality shows, RADIO again is the New MTV. Think about that for a minute.

RADIO IS THE CONTEMPORARY MTV. The internet is cool and all but it’s made for diehard fans to hunt and peck to find madonna. RADIO is free, omnipresent and in your ears! Where all good new singles are heard.

Peace & Blessings
Kevin
Pennslyvannia, USA

By Kevin Niziol on 03/02/2009 8:10 pm
Nan Harwood
Liz…I have written this before..You are one of the few who stll recognize the difference between shallow celebrity and true star power…I encourage you to keep the pressure on AFI and Kennedy Center to honor Doris Day…I know she doesn’t like to fly..but we all know that there are cross-country alternatives..and they HAVE extended a few honors without the recipients’ presence…Keep up your good work..and don’t worry about the Post…You are more free now than ever…Nan
By Nan Harwood on 03/02/2009 11:14 pm
kermie b

I glanced at the other threads, where we have the same old arguments being played out, right versus left, left versus blech—I am so sick of that—the posts are in the hundreds. Clearly, this is to the benefit of wOw, not to its loyal audience. 

It is becoming a tad too predictable here.

I had some bad news today and I came here to get my mind off of the sad, awful, horrid parts of living through a Second Nationwide Great Depression.  Could we please have some topics that bring us together?  Please?  It takes some creativity to find a topic that isn’t so obvious that we already know the players and their answers on both sides, but golly, could we just try?

 Too much to ask for?  I think not.  How about that snowstorm today?  Eh?

By kermie b on 03/02/2009 11:15 pm
kermie b
Yep…too much to ask for. 
By kermie b on 03/03/2009 1:27 pm
Roger from Ohio

You deserve a hug today Kermie   *HUG*

I hope you find the time for a real one. 

By Roger from Ohio on 03/06/2009 8:13 am