I have come to believe there are very few women in the same place as Tina’s friend. Either no one is shopping, or, everyone wants to or complacently accepts looking like their daughters! I have to agree completely with her friend. I am in my early 40’s and a professional who needs to wear suits and very professional attire to work. I have money to spend but don’t want to go the Chanel route. I have little choice beyond the basics and how many black suits can you have before it looks like you wear the same thing every day? And as for casual wear, it’s J Crew or similar because that’s all there is, especially in the midwest where I live.

Now I wasn’t around then personally, but back in Katherine Hepburn’s day, wouldn’t a well-heeled woman about town have visited her dress-maker for her seasonal wardrobe? Could it still be a better option? Pick a style from any modern era to suit your taste and figure, a fabric that sets off your colouring, and support a local business.

I am a 54 year old “petite”…..I have difficulty finding everyday clothing that isn’t frumpy, schlumpy, or “cute.” I have always resented “cute”, and, now that I am considered a mature matriarch type, the styles available to me at my local department stores cause me great disdain.

Re: “What some great young designer should do is: Lead. Lead the way. Love middle-aged women and want to make them look beautiful. Adore them and lead them into a new kind of fashion, one that announces, with pleasure, who they are.” If fashion designers don’t love young women, how can they love middle-aged women? Note that most magazine ads and runways are populated by models that are emaciated, and seem androgynous.

How about something dressy with sleeves? All the cocktail and evening dresses I see are sleeveless, one-shoulder or strapless. Some come with jackets, but I think that looks matronly and frumpy, regardless of the cost and fabric. When you reach “a certain age,” you won’t permit your arms to be seen in public!

I just jumped online at Saks.com and found a Donna Karan jersey knit jumper that is classy enough for anywhere - and marked down. Over at Macys, it looks like Elle Tahari keeps improving her grown up-girl suit lines. This is a great time of year to explore what is out there, whether it’s end of season or what’s next. I might try a different waistline on a dress or pant, or something with a more decorated neckline or a richer but still subtle fabric. I don’t focus so much on what everyone else is doing, but instead consider my shape (whatever it seems to be that season), my comfort zone (cover the arms by under layering with a sheer blouse or super thin silk long or short sleeve turtleneck or leotard), play to my best asset, and be willing to give something new - and I don’t mean “young” - a chance. Sometimes I’ll order two sizes of the same piece, because there really is no hassle in returning. Boutiques in the upscale parts of towns or cities seem to be gaining momentum, and when I’m on the road I always try to make time to visit a new shopping area, just for a different perspective. All this helps me discover new labels and experiment with a few different cuts, colors, and materials. The most important thing is to make the effort to try it on, to not get psyched out by the thought of a dreadful dressing room with cellulite-producing lighting. Otherwise, I find I get into a rut, reckon - mistakenly - that certain things will always look bad on me, and end up with a closet full of bland. And absolutely yes on the suggestion to find a local atelier. If you cannot locate the services of a female dressmaker, stop in at a local men’s tailor and ask for help. Remember when half the fun of shopping was the hunt? I think it is more rewarding now because it is harder.

Shopping for anybody over 50 is like digging through the pile of manure believing that there is a pony in there somewhere. At any given upscale store like Neiman Marcus or Saks or their websites, if you scan down the options, you immediately realize that 98% of dresses or either sleeveless or one-shouldered. You also note that there are very few pants that have a waist that doesn’t start 4” below your naval. It is disheartening and maddening to even try to find something that is current without looking like you are a wannabee for your childrens’ fashion. I wear a size 8 or 10 and the only options are size L or XL. That is so ridiculous it doesn’t bear comment. Since the average American woman wears 144 pounds, where are the clothes? The stupid thing is the usually the women who can afford nice clothes are old enough to have been in careers and jobs and yet the styles are geared toward women who are not old enough to purchase for themselves. It is maddening.

I’m 50 years old, work out everyday, and think I have a “pretty good” body for my age. But I cannot find a top, shirt, etc, that doesn’t expose my breasts! Plus it’s winter time, cold, and I’m sick of wearing turtlenecks, but cannot find a shirt that isn’t too tight or low cut. I can’t wait for this style to disappear!

I am 55 years old and in good shape. I want clothing that is natural fabrics, comfortable yet flattering, and that fits. I don’t want to look like a teenage tramp and I don’t want to look “matronly” because I’m not either of these. I used to sew all my clothes but just don’t want to anymore. Why can’t designers and clothing producers listen to our frustrated cries and provide clothing that we can actually wear?

What I would tell my personal designer: I am 54 years old and not in particularly good shape - size 16 - fluffy is the word I like - but I clean up ok. I have lost about 25 pounds, so I feel pretty good about myself. Single after a long long marriage, so frumpy just won’t do. My upper arms have not seen the light of day in 15 years. I do not have much discretionary money to spend on clothes. I work full time and have an active social life - jeans rather than cocktail dresses - (dancing after 50 is SO liberating!). I would like to show off my assets, and downplay the rest of it. Because of “personal thermostat difficulties”, I prefer cotton and natural fabrics. Please - fluffy does not always do well with knits. How about comfortable structure? I would rather have a cheap top that I wear for 2 years than a classic that I will have for 20 years. I like variety, and who knows what size I will be in 20 years??? I do not want to dress like either my 87 year old mother, nor my 20 year old daughter - both of whom are beautiful; but I would like some sort of personal style. Anyone out there up to the challenge?

I have sent your site to my most closest 20 girlfirends. They love it

If we all sent it to our closest friends, one of them might know a designer who’d offer custom clothes over the web - a few basic pieces in various dressy and casual fabics. You’d give her (or him) your measurements and choices of colors and styles, you’d get a wardrobe of clothes you can accessorize your own way…that fit! Like a basic black dress with sleeves and a choice of necklines, for instance. Happy networking.