Age, 12, I had just moved into a new house in California and was luxuriated in my new swimming pool. I heard girls laughter over the back fence. Soon a spray of water from a pool sweep shot over the fence and into my pool. I dove under water and found one of the spray arms of my pool sweep - and returned the favor. Then we were all laughing and zapping each other back and forth. These girls became my new friends, and the girl who lived in the house, Cathy, 13, has been my best friend for 37 years. We went to college together, and later, when she left her husband, she came to stay with us with her children for 4 months: there were 3 adults and 12 children and while stressful - it’s something we look back on with great fondness. My adult friend is a sex therapist who I met at church- she and her husband are our close friends and we love to laugh and talk about things - most people wouldn’t dare mention. “These are the good old days.”

Best friends—my life’s blood. In thinking about this topic, I think that my best friendships have been forged with time spent together and shared interests and this has seemed to occur the most during school days and work situations. When there is time to share joys and fears and learnings, then I have been fortunate to find many kindred souls that I connect with heart to heart and mind to mind. Some of those friends from childhood and teen years I don’t talk with often mostly because we live far apart, but whenever we have found the time to meet and visit again, the deep connections are still there. Once that bond is established, it endures. What a blessing.

A friend comes by being one.

I’ll tell you one thing: they can come from the most unexpected places. I have a dog - a cross between a Bichon and a Cavalier King Charles. Cutest darned thing…but I digress. I joined an online Board made up of owners with similar cross-breeds. A few of us noticed we were “talking” with each other through the Board. Fast-forward to two years later. The six of us (we call ourselves the “Cavachon Six”) are as different as six people could be - married, single, divorced, widowed; living in different parts of the country (and one in Canada); ranging in ages from 40 to 59; different education levels (probably different politics, although we try not to go there); very different life experiences. Yet we have formed an amazing bond. We “chat” online all the time; we ask each others’ advice and we’ve supported each other through our mini-crises. I am amazed at not only the power of the Internet to connect such a disparate group of women but also at the power of sisterhood.

Friends…such a complex subject. I believe that we are drawn to people who personify those things about ourselves that we need to work on most. They help us to grow ourselves and become better human beings. Those things about my best friend that drive me most crazy are those things that I hate most about myself. She is my mirror, and with this insight, I can work on my own failings. And, oddly enough, once I have dealt with my issues, those things no longer bother me in her. But through it all, I love her because she loves me as I am, and, because we constantly LAUGH together. She is the sister of my soul, not my blood. Second thought…isn’t it wonderful when family can also be friends; not through happenstance, but through choice. I have three cousins with whom I am extremely close. One is thirteen years older than I, one is two years older and the third is ten years younger(the daughter of the eldest of us). As our lives have evolved we have become closer and closer. Family ties and experiences have turned into time spent together because we genuinely like and love one another. The common ties only strengthen our union. When I was fifteen, and my younger cousin was five, she idolized me and followed me around constantly, wanting to be like me and spend time with me. I told her then that someday we would be best friends, that her mom was thirteen years older than me and we were friends, which proved that as one got older age became less and less of a barrier. Sure enough, as she traversed her twenties and I my thirties, our friendship developed, until now I consider her one of my very best friends. This lesson was not wasted on me, and has always allowed me to have friends of all ages, which has truly enriched my life. We women are so fortunate to have the close bonds of friendship that we do. However we get and keep friends may be different for each of us, but that we have them is a blessing.

I never intended it, but somehow I ended up with one deep friendship from every path on my journey: grade school, high school, my early married years in California, graduate school, and my present job…..and of course, my sister…..I was so blessed. Three years ago, the grade school friend ended the friendship….I was stunned….not a day goes by that she doesn’t cross my mind….and wonder how she is….my very wise daughter told me I was grieving the friendship I thought I had.

“Oh, my sister” as the song goes - I have many acquaintenses but a best friend is someone I can trust and who is loyal through and thin times, and does not measure or judge.

Best friends, arent we blessed. They are heaven sent. Kindred spirits, perhaps sisters or brothers in a past life. Some just love us, and some challenge us, some we talk to all the time, others we can go for a month or two and pick up where we left off. I love my friends and would throw myself in front of a bullet for them. They are part of our family unit. I have friends both old and new.

Friends sustain me. Like “florida femme” I have met real friends all along the path. Some have drifted away like my dear, sweet friend in Sri Lanka who is now old and doesn’t have email. But most remain in my near or far world, and the ones I see often are as important to me as breathing. When I moved to my current city, I was fortunate to have two generations of family nearby, but not a single friend. Within a year, I invited four new friends over for dinner one night and suggested that we think about forming a group that would meet once a month. Well!! We’ve evolved into a “Ya Ya Sisterhood” and during the past 8 years we’ve supported one another, individually and collectively, through some pretty significant passages. Even though we see each other all the time, we still meet monthly to eat, drink, argue politics…right now we’re divided between Hillary and Barack…and to discuss husbands, children, and the economy. I have another friend nearby…a 90 year old delightful, sharp gentleman author, and we dine out every week. Same kinds of discussions, just different players. I dearly love my friends…old and new, near and far. Lucky me.

Where Do Friends Come From? … I think friends come from within our own consciousness … I’m of the opinion we create our own world so to speak … not only do we bring forth “friends” from our own consciousness but that is also the origin of our foes … just as we immediately feel a connection with a friend; we feel uncomfortable with a foe right away … friends we want to spend time with and foes we want to put distance between ourselves and them … I think when we take the time to reflect on our lives we find that everyone has served a purpose in our life experience here on earth … we may not have enjoyed the experience at the time; but when the “dust” settles and we are able to be more objective, we find the purpose of the encounter … but I’m drifting from the original question … friends are the manifestation of “ideas” and/or “concepts” originating in our own consciousness … be good to yourself … P. Hannah

I have had a few friends, but as I became ill and when I needed them the most they were no where to found. I guess they could not handle seeing me almost dying. Thank God for my husband he has been with me through every aspect of my illness. Even when they brought the crash cart/code blue. He has been to every Doctors appointment with me he stays in the room and holds my hand. When I have come back to my room after every surgery he has been the first person that I have seen. He is my rock , my best friend, and I am blessed to have him.

Friends come from the heart. From way back when and then from not so far back: the meeting of the heart, of the mind, of knowing you were together and together and together still, or that you are in synch even without a lot of years between you. There is the comfort of knowing they know you were once this…or that….and that you are friends still…that you are growing old together (despite being in different lands) and you both know how old you are! There is the acceptance of who you are, of seeing yourself so wonderful in their eyes……