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Sheila Nevins | 04/10/2008 12:00 am

Who Is She?

© Shutterstock

Fiction

After reading the story, click here to vote: If you were Bart’s wife, what would you do in the morning?
a) Confront him
b) Poison him
c) Let it pass
d) Tell him he needs therapy
e) Have your own liaison
f) Leave him

It was 12:30 a.m.

Bart was working late. Being a lawyer in a high-pressure firm and having just become a managing partner was taking its toll. His nights were not his own. Many weekends he had to take the L.I.R.R. back to the city because his workload was so heavy. These demanding clients kept him always on call. Financially, he was doing quite well for the first time in his twenty-year career. She understood; it wasn’t that she wasn’t busy or preoccupied herself. Their kids were quite grown – twenty, twenty-two, and twenty-six – and out of the house. She loved her job as a librarian at the local Jericho library. On this particular sultry summer night, she was engrossed in a book being read by her book club. She hadn’t read Anna Karenina since college and so she was quite engaged, as if reading it for the first time.

His car pulled up in the driveway.

Bart stopped at the fridge, grabbed some iced tea, and tiptoed up to the bedroom. He said, surprised, "You’re up?"

She smiled, "I’m deeply involved with Anna. How’s it going, Bart? Tough case?"

"The clients are impossible," he answered.

"You must be tired?" she said.

"Exhausted," Bart said.

She couldn’t explain it, but somehow something was different. Bart seemed off-tempo. What was it? His hair. It was neatly combed. "Get a haircut?" she said. "It looks great."

"No. Why, do I need one?" Bart asked.

"Just wondered," she said. "And, by the way, Lila got a raise. She asked for it and they gave it."

"How much?" he asked.

"Five percent," she said. "And I’m so glad. They were taking advantage of her."

"She’s one great kid," Bart replied. "We struck a home run with this one."

They both smiled. Lila was a prize.

Bart took off his jacket and opened his pajama drawer. His tie was carefully knotted. Odd, she thought. On these hot summer nights he almost always came home without a tie. She imagined that he probably took his tie off as soon as he left his air-conditioned Manhattan office. She noted this careful knot.

Bart then took off his pants and flung them over the chair. She lifted her eyes from her book. She felt him avoiding her gaze; well, not avoiding it, but not catching her eyes – if you know what I mean. Then she saw that his jockey shorts were on backwards. The fly part faced her as he bent over to untie his shoes. Had he spent this sticky day in arrears? Her heart raced. There was no lipstick on his collar, no perfume in the air like in the movies. As a matter of fact, it was the absence of aroma that she noticed – no sweat. After twenty-eight years of marriage, late August work nights meant damp shirts. She knew this because she had put them in the laundry for all those years. She knew the circle of perspiration around the armpits, the badge of honest late work. Her cheeks flushed, her heart pounded. Had he showered before coming home? She knew he had not been working.

"Good book?" Bart said.

"Yes, yes," she said. "Read it at Mount Holyoke years, years ago. It’s all new to me. Tolstoy is so now."

"How was the book club?" he asked casually.

"Fascinating," she said. Her fingers felt numb. "Bart … " she started.

"Yes?" He was pulling the covers over his head.

"Bart … you are working so hard."

"Yes, sweetie," he said. He rolled over and kissed her. She felt the kiss’s compulsory quality, the repetitive wet peck.

"Bart," she said, taking a deep breath and pausing. “Bart, I got them to fix the den’s air conditioner and honor the warranty two days after it expired." He was sinking under the covers.

"That’s my girl," he said. His voice was getting drowsy.

She felt scared. Alone. She whispered to herself, knowing he wouldn’t hear, "Who was she?" – the tears running down her face. She whispered again more quietly, "Who was she, Bart?" But when she looked over at Bart, he was fast asleep.

She turned out the light, first looking at their wedding picture near the telephone on her side of the bed. She turned the picture face down, wiped her tears away, listened to his breathing, and wondered what she would do in the morning.

Click here for wOw poll: What would you do in the morning?

Read more about: Anna Karenina, Fiction

112 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Jackie  Chapkis
So many of us have “been there” including myself, we are all coming from different situations. For me, the question was do I love him enough to work out the problem. I didn’t - so I divorced him and later met someone who has given me love, respect and a wonderful partnership. My advice - we are always attracted to the same personality - when loioking for a mate try the opposite attraction - it’s amazing what you find out about yourself.
By Jackie Chapkis on 04/10/2008 3:23 pm
Tony Galento
Doctor Who, please take your mouldy wing wam and buzz off.
By Tony Galento on 04/10/2008 4:09 pm
C L
It’s rather predictable that everyone is suggesting getting a divorce lawyer, but assuming Mrs. Bart likes men and doesn’t want to be single the rest of her life, after leaving her husband, she’ll be facing the dating scene at 50+. Cooking for one, wondering what to do about her husband’s presence at the weddings of her children and other family events, not seeing people she’s fond of who are “his” friends, signing up for more classes and book clubs to expand the social circle – such great stuff divorcees face. If she’s not interested in sex and relationships anymore and she’s out of love with him after this, by all means, she should get the divorce.
By C L on 04/10/2008 5:04 pm
Beth Cavalli
I don’t know if I would wait till morning. I would mention in jest as the pants came down. “is that a new style, dear?” refering to the boxers on wrong…. Going to sleep with a ton of questions is not a great position that I hold. I would talk to him, in private, come to lunch in town etc. Talk to him first. I divorced in 2005 and it was not over a woman, it was that he left our marriage long before it was over. Staying with a man because it will deprive you of your beautiful 1.5 million dollar house and Mercedes is not necessarily my route either. Talk to him. I guess in the end, at 45 my sex drive is so high that, talking is not what I would want a man for right this minute anyway….LOL! I would talk to him. No jumping to conculsions.
By Beth Cavalli on 04/10/2008 5:13 pm
Amelie Poulain
If we really want to stay on track here, the question is, “who is she?” She is distinctly the epitome of the anti-woman. The kind of woman who is so damaging to the world we dream of. She is the one who is willing to interfere. She lacks integrity by interjecting herself into someone else’s sincere commitment to another. This is the woman who believes she has the right to barge into a marriage. SHE’S the one who really needs counseling. Kudos to the woman who sued her husband’s mistress, and won.
By Amelie Poulain on 04/10/2008 5:40 pm
Ms. Dee
Oooh. Can’t leap to that conclusion either. “She” might just be the “other woman” he’s lying to. It can’t be any easier to dump a man you’ve come to count on and care about the morning after you found out he was married.
By Ms. Dee on 04/10/2008 9:44 pm
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Jckie OhOh—-Exactly right. When I was working was hit on so many times by married attorneys, doctors, developers, and would never have an affair with a married man—and in the process be party to threatening his marriage and/or wounding his wife. I did unknowingly accept a lunch date with a married man…once. As soon as the meals were set down he launched into “my wife doesn’t understand me, and I have a problem with her because…..” I said, let’s stop right there. You now have another problem. “What’s that?” “Two lunches and you’re dinning alone.” I got up and walked out. If a man in a committed relationship cheats on me he’s made his choice and is welcome to her..of course, that takes a lot of fun out of it.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/11/2008 3:56 am
Megan Plumridge
I would confront him and find out what is going on. I think you have to or it will eat at you. Megan from Sydney australia
By Megan Plumridge on 04/10/2008 7:42 pm
rocky rocky
My contribution to the conversation about “Who is she?” seems to have been deleted. I would have liked to see if anyone might have responded. Was it something I said?
By rocky rocky on 04/10/2008 8:00 pm
Deni G
Anne, If your post disappeared, it was definitely an accident. It seems to be happening on occasion. But it is not censorship, just a glitch of some sort. Perhaps you could post what you wrote again?
By Deni G on 04/10/2008 8:08 pm
Joni Evans
Thank you, Deni. Anne, please post again if you can.
By Joni Evans on 04/10/2008 8:35 pm
annine annine
Having experienced this (decades ago), old wounds are bleeding tonight. There’s no way I ever would have waited until morning - if for no other reason, curious about ‘why’ he wouldn’t have the respect for me to have dressed himself properly, avoiding discovery and me being hurt. Thinking about it today is totally different than when it happened. We stayed together and lived a relatively happy life. I assumed his ego had the best of him then and knew he had not been normal for many reasons for months, assumed his affair had been sparked by a need for a new sexual conquest. Years later, the real pain and betrayal hit me. The children were grown and gone and I wondered. Had he stayed with me for the same reasons I stayed with him? It made me sick.
By annine annine on 04/10/2008 9:00 pm
Alpha Ott
Well, if he’s never given you a reason until now to cause you to mistrust him, you OWE it to him and yourself to confront him. See what answer he gives for the backward jockeys…no sweat. And I agree, let him know you know…or thought you knew. If he’s innocent, I’m sure he’ll find it a ego booster…or just a bit funny. Depends on his personality. When its all brought out in the open, if you feel it in your gut that all’s not on the up and up, I’d really pay attention to what he does.
By Alpha Ott on 04/10/2008 9:08 pm
kathy hurt
Girls: As one who has been there,done that,own the shirt.First: you die,then you breathe,and then you get very very EVEN.You don’t have to go out and have an affair to even the score either.Mine left for what he thought would be a new life with a Dr.Our state,as most is “no fault”so I went to theBoard of Healing Arts and had her license susupended.Being able to take back control was the BEST!!!
By kathy hurt on 04/10/2008 10:04 pm
Ms. Dee
I’ll never understand why it hurt so bad. Thinking my love was being returned, cherished. Being told he loved me, and adoring him, and thinking we were both content with the life we were creating, and then being forced to realize, no. I was the only one who felt that way. The evidence becomes irrefutable, and the truth of it causes the most god-awful pain. At least, that’s how it was for me. From the very first time, and every time after that. How could I have been so silly? I have a lifetime of experience with being dumped. So my guess is “she” is me! And my advice would be: 1) Get out of bed and try to sleep somewhere else…in the house, on the couch, NOT with the kids. You might accidentally murder him in your sleep 2) Cry all you want, but try to rest. Remember, you’ll need all your energy just to think straight in the morning. So, try. 3) Fix (and eat) breakfast, even if it’s unusual, get the kids out of the house, and 4) go someplace, away from him, where you can think. If he’s still sleeping, leave a note. 5) Create a time-frame. In most cases, you’ll have until 2:30, 3:00 that afternoon to decide where you and your children are going to sleep tonight…which means, you need to figure out what you’re going to say “Bart” and how you’re going to say it by noon, at least. I don’t know. It just hurt too much, and my poor children. I never wanted them to see me cry, let alone scream and shout like I ended up doing. But it happened too often when they were young. So, ripened as I am at this point, I would say above all, Bart’s wife, from the minute she starts wondering who “she” is should take care of herself and protect her children. And the only way to do that is to have a conversation with him before you pick the kids up from school. ‘Cause you might need to call a friend. There’s no easy way for a man or a woman to tell a child that what you told him or her was the truth about mommy and daddy isn’t really true after all. So it’s really important to know what you’re talking about before you disrupt a son or daughter’s sense of normalcy and happiness. But that’s just me, thinking. And it’s easy to think through from this distance. In the thick of it, we all make mistakes. I still take flight when I’m hurt. It gets harder and harder to wait on the evidence. I’ve written elsewhere: “Coming out of denial is like having a baby through your brain.” It’s excruciating sometimes. And leave or stay, women who overcome that pain, and live their lives fully, are okay by me, whatever the $$ settlement.
By Ms. Dee on 04/10/2008 10:49 pm