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Sheila Nevins | 04/17/2008 8:11 am

Who Is She? Part Two

Who Is She? Part Two
© Shutterstock
Fiction

After reading the second installment of Who Is She?, answer the following question: should Bart’s wife, after a sleepless night … (click on any of the options below to vote)

a) Call an old boyfriend?
b) Go to a spa and shape up?
c) Confide in her daughter, Lila?
d) Suggest to Bart they go on a romantic vacation?
e) Tell Bart they need to talk?


Bart was breathing heavily. She tried to sleep but couldn’t. Her heart pounded so powerfully that she could see the light summer blanket that covered them both beat to its beat. She understood what it was to have a broken heart and wondered if infidelity uncovered could cause you to die. She had heard a song of hearts standing still, but she had never felt its true searing. She hummed the tune to herself so as not to lose it.

I took one look at you

That’s all I meant to do

And then my heart stood still.

Hmmmm. Hmmmm.

Hmmmm…


She gently threw back the covers and watched her errant husband peacefully sleeping. She wanted to wake him, to scream at him, to pummel him. Instead, she climbed out of bed and lifted his pants off the chair where he had neatly put them. She searched the pockets: nothing. In his lizard-skinned wallet, which she had given to him as a birthday gift, was $62.00 — three twenties and two single bills along with some pictures of the kids. There was Bart Jr. at graduation, Lila and Sam together at Sam’s wedding, Sam’s wife, too. Pretty little thing. She kinda liked her daughter-in-law, though she wished Sam would call her like he used to. There was also a host of business cards — law firms, a computer company, and a few lunch receipts. Nothing suspicious. A chocolate mint wrapped in aluminum fell to the floor. Oh, yes, there was a picture of Godzilla, their ten-year-old sheepdog, but no picture of her, she noticed. She wondered when men stopped carrying pictures of their wives and substituted their dog. She wondered when Bart had stopped considering her a prize. For the first years of their marriage, he would often say how lucky he was to have found her. It reminded her, again, of some song, but she couldn’t remember the real lyrics. Something about "lucky to be me" or "you." She hummed the music. Searching for the words kept her on track.

Hmmm. Hmmmm. Lucky hmmmm me.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Hmmmm.


She hung his pants under his jacket. She searched the jacket pockets. Nothing. She bent to pick up the chocolate mint that had fallen to the floor and tore the packaging. But, it wasn’t a mint; it was a condom. She placed the evidence in the pocket of her robe. She breathed deeply. "So, darling Bart," she thought, "tonight was one of many or at least one of two." She would have him followed. She would hire a detective. She was losing her mind. When the kids had been dating she had often remarked that she hoped they were using condoms — little did she know she was advising their father. Should she be grateful he was practicing safe sex? She didn’t feel safe. She felt scared. What was it about men and marriage? She thought Bart was the exception. Men and sex; it was different than women and sex. Or, was it? Her friend, Victoria, had had a lover for twenty years and Harry didn’t know. Was it different for working women? Who knew?
Read more about: Adultery, Fiction, Marriage

102 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Bella Mia
This is a classic dilemna and a common response - to get revenge. What about using that same energy to improve the relationship? Why would she have tolerated a poor physical relationship for so many years? All it takes is one person to alter the dynamics of a relationship - not two. Chasing a shadow is just more escapism, and if that follows that pattern of her coping mechanism - avoidance - it may explain why she is in the situation she’s in. Millions have been in her shoes - and many, many people find a way to improve the situation - not make it worse. David Schnarch has written about this in his book “Resurrecting Sex.” In this article: “Lust for the Long Haul,” he says that sexual problems are just symptoms of other problems in the realtionship. It’s a good article and should be useful to people who feel stuck with a partner: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20051209-000001&p…
By Bella Mia on 04/17/2008 10:45 am
Bella Mia
Oops - this is the link that starts on page 1 of the article: “Lust for the Long Haul.” http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20051209-000001&p…
By Bella Mia on 04/17/2008 10:47 am
Fairhaired Optimist
Um, no, Dr. Klein, I don’t agree. Perhaps there are problems in the marriage, but it’s a MARRIAGE they’ve entered into. If she has lost her figure or sex, nags him or is a bad housekeeper, he took VOWS before God and his family to honor her for the rest of his life, despite whatever happens! If there is a problem with her or the marriage, he needs to work on it with her or address it, not skip out and “nail” some hot honey to make himself feel better. Perhaps we all need to remind ourselves of the value of the vows of marriage.
By Fairhaired Optimist on 04/17/2008 10:45 am
Bella Mia
Those reasons don’t give him a moral right to cheat - but they can explain a natural tendency by many men in a culture that does not view marriage as a sacred obligation, but rather as a breakable contract.
By Bella Mia on 04/17/2008 10:57 am
MARK KLEIN, M.D.
Your post explains why Henry XIII was into divorce pre-Reformation Tudor style.
By MARK KLEIN, M.D. on 04/17/2008 2:11 pm
Dani Froelich
So glad I never got married! It would be nice to have access to vote.
By Dani Froelich on 04/17/2008 11:07 am
CAROLINE MuLVEY
To vote you need to read through the second paragraph and then go up and vote. I believe this is what I was told. Hope this helps.
By CAROLINE MuLVEY on 04/18/2008 3:44 am
Lena B
You have elevated the role of “Devil’s Advocate”.
By Lena B on 04/17/2008 12:31 pm
elaine s
She should contact the old boyfriend because she needs to see herself, or remember herself, as a person who is admired and has options. Not that she would have an affair, but she needs to be validated as a worthwhile woman. Once her self esteem has had a little boost, then she should talk to Bart and they should discuss where things really stand in their marriage and what each of them wants for the future.
By elaine s on 04/17/2008 11:14 am
Oooh Sabina
No old boyfriend, new boyfriends!!
By Oooh Sabina on 04/17/2008 12:49 pm
Bella Mia
Self-validation is the key, not relying on validation from other people - especially old boyfriends. That opens a whole other can of worms. I would say to the husband - “Your underwear was on backwards, and I looked and found a condom in your wallet. I’m sure you have a logical explanation, and I’d like to hear it.” If he hesitates or stammers - then, he most likely has been caught doing something he’d rather her not know about. Then she should say, “I am going to see a marriage therapist, and I’d like you to come along.” Then she should do exactly that and make herself the catalyst in changing the relationship. This is a way to take back her power and not feel like a victim.
By Bella Mia on 04/17/2008 1:11 pm
Chips AHoey
Ixnay on calling an old boyfriend - there’s a reason an old boyfriend is an old boyfriend - you can’t go home again I’m with Donna - why should she tip toe around - serve that condom on top of some scrambled eggs and then sit quietly across the room eating and watching him (hopefully) sweat it out and I am also with Cham - she needs to get out more regardless of what happens in her marriage - I think Klein is being a little harsh in his response - obviously this woman has been taking care of this guy his whole marriage - house clean, kids cared for, dinner ready - he’s the one not holding his end up for not sticking to the commitment - if he’s unhappy, he should have told her before he thought about straying out of respect for her
By Chips AHoey on 04/17/2008 11:43 am
CAROLINE MuLVEY
I totally and completely agree with you Anne. I also agree about Klein, he is totally in outer space.
By CAROLINE MuLVEY on 04/18/2008 3:51 am
Mary Matthews
Definitely, tell Bart they need to talk. Contacting the old BF is just evading the issue, not to mention playing by her dirtbag husband’s rules. She needs to find out WHY Bart is being such a Richard-head, and then proceed from there.
By Mary Matthews on 04/17/2008 12:03 pm