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Entertainment | 04/29/2008 8:10 am

'wOw Friend' Judith H. Dobrzynski: 'A Moment So Sublime That My Eyes Start to Water'

Editor’s Note: Judith H. Dobrzynski is a former writer/editor at The New York Times and is now a freelance contributor to many magazines and newspapers.

Why does some music make me, and presumably other people, cry?

I’m not talking about sentimental love songs like “Whiter Shade of Pale” or “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling,” songs that bring back memories of sweet relationships now long over. They can bring tears to my eyes, sure. But I’m talking here about a symphonic or operatic moment so sublime that — without anything personal about it — my eyes start to water.

It happened again just the other day. I’m not an opera expert, but I’ve been paying a lot of attention to it lately, as I reported an article about the Metropolitan Opera for the Wall Street Journal. So when The New York Times posted a recording of the "Ah! Mes Amis” aria sung by Peruvian tenor Juan Diego Flórez during the performance of “La Fille du Regiment” at the Met on April 21, I clicked on the link. In it, Florez hits high C, which is about as high as men can reach, nine times. You hear the crowd roar, and you hear Florez do it all over again. I felt a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. Maybe you’ve done the same when you’ve heard Pavarotti sing his trademark “Nessun Dorma” from “Turandot.” I have, and I sometimes well up at similar musical moments that personally mean nothing and that are sung in a language I do not even comprehend.

But why? Is it because I am witnessing a pinnacle of human achievement — something most people can never dream of doing, let alone actually do? I think so. But I think there’s something else, too; something sensuous in the voice that reaches in and touches something deeper inside of me. After all, I don’t cry when an athlete breaks a record or a scientist makes a breakthrough.

Some psychologists, I’ve learned, call this “aesthetic crying.” It’s a phenomenon that no other species experiences — and maybe not all humans either. Like the crying that can result from a religious experience, this crying is said to be visceral, not learned. Knowing that — despite the sadness associated with crying — I feel rather lucky.


101 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Jane Goodwin
Beautiful music makes me cry, too. Perhaps it’s because it’s about as close to “perfection” as the human body will ever attain, and perfect things are supposed to fill us with such awe, we simply must have some kind of outlet for our response to it or we’ll implode from the emotion. The tears could also be not only the joy of it, but also the sadness that we, too, can’t create beauty of such magnitude. I think the appreciation of it is also an art; many people are not capable of genuine appreciation.
By Jane Goodwin on 04/29/2008 9:52 am
JeJe De
I too experience this and wonder at myself. I am not a sentimental person as my daughter often bemoans, but when the children at my grandson’s school all sing at their Friday sing my eyes fill with tears. I’m not sure if it is just getting older [and maybe more sentimental], but I like it.
By JeJe De on 04/29/2008 9:55 am
Holland Taylor
Wonderful post. I’m glad to have a vague thought I’ve had too so beautifully articulated. Surely we experience this “aesthetic crying” typically with music as music is arguably the purest form of communication…but I also feel this way a lot watching dance. The aching moment at the apogee of a leap when the dancer seems to hover, God like, breaking the law of gravity. I wonder, too, at such moments, if our lizard brain is responding as well to the inner knowledge of the untold years of effort and practice and will behind that flight, and that high C.
By Holland Taylor on 04/29/2008 10:11 am
Frank Peterson
When Mimi sings ‘Pinangi sto bene’ and dies in La Boheme I let the flood gates open. It moves me every time. But then I can also hear I’ll Take You Home Kathleen and a similar reaction takes place. Aesthetic crying huh? Just the release of a pent up emotion that music fives and then moves my heart beyond the quotidian and leaves me so much better than I am. My life without music would not be worth living to be honest. Music is an gift of love to the human race and and a joy forever.
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 10:13 am
Diana T
When I accepted the UofKy. School of Fine Arts Community Service Award, I said in my acceptance that I believe music is the language of the soul. Music is God speaking to us. By the way, if you all want to read a good book, go get The Rest is Noise, by Alex Ross. It was selected as one of the best books of 2007 by the NYTimes. A history of the 20th Century through its music…a very good read indeed!
By Diana T on 04/29/2008 12:29 pm
Frau Quink
Congratulations on getting the award, Diana… I also read “The Rest is Noise” and consider it to be a masterpiece………
By Frau Quink on 04/29/2008 1:35 pm
E .
Yes. The human voice can sometimes touch the very core of me so much so that I cry. Always unexpected and often embarrassing the stoic in me used to struggle to control it. It is difficult for me to tease out the how, why or what to describe or explain this phenomenon. There is something very transcendental about these rare experiences for me and I’ve learned to embrace each as a surprise visit by a lovely friend.
By E . on 04/29/2008 10:20 am
Frank Peterson
Elizabeth; music is transcendental—well put. and it truly is a surprise visit for me too form a lovely and trusted friend. Thank you.
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 10:47 am
E .
Frank Peterson: “Elizabeth; music is transcendental .. ” Thank you. You’re generous to take note.
By E . on 04/29/2008 5:39 pm
G T
The Chopin Nocturnes do it for me. And some Mozart too.
By G T on 04/29/2008 10:27 am
Frank Peterson
Lily: forgive my typos too. You last sentemce is so true and so beautifully said—thank you, my dear. :-) Resonance indeed. :-)
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 10:44 am
Lady Bug
Wonderfully put, all. I experience this with all types of performance, and am often embarrassed by how touched I am! I don’t always understand it. In the case of beautifully performed piece, yes, but other times it’s just the pure sweetness of children giving it their all, or somebody strong enough to make themselves vulnerable on stage.
By Lady Bug on 04/29/2008 10:45 am
Esther Bradley-DeTally
Two times in 1990 while in Russia. We had been in Moscow for only a few days. we were with a group of young amateur musicians. we all went to an Orothodox Church outside of Moscow. Their new patriarch was being elected, and after years of not having one. Hard to remember. I stepped into the chapel where the “ordinary” people were. A care worn lady, with a scarf over her head, thin, tired looking, started to sing, and her notes vaulted the ceiling, filled me - if liquid amber had a sound - that was it. Beauty of the utmost from the unknown, a theme that constantly calls me. The other time was after the Coup in 1992- thought it was 1990, but no. Three young boys were receiving national attention in Russia. We were living in Dneperpetrovsk, but must have been in Kiev to witness their funerals. They had been killed by army tanks or something. I would have to check my notes, or book for details. But long story short. Two of the boys were being feted by the Orthodox Church, and the other boy, whose picture was posted on top of a long stick. He had dark eyes, dark hair, and was sooo young. His mother was beside his coffin as a lone violin played. Her hands twisted in agony, and I thought of a poet’s phrase (Roger White) “to everything but anquish the mind will soon adjust,” and then later all three young men were buried, and the people came from everywhere. They were in trees, by the coffins, just around, a people emerging after being so oppressed. The coup was over. The people individually threw handfuls of dirt into the open spaces on top of the coffins, and I was profoundly silent as my soul witnessed the emergence of the Russian people from long years of opression.
By Esther Bradley-DeTally on 04/29/2008 10:50 am
Frank Peterson
Esther, what an incredible story—that really moved me—thank you so much. And took me back to a time when we found the body of a young girl on a dyke between two rice paddies—She was gone and there wasn’t a mark on her—blood tricked from her ears—an artillery air burst went astray obviously. She looked so fragile and asleep. I carried her to the nearest village and her mother came—the sight never leaves me—the anguish she felt as she bent over the body of her daughter and the sound that came from her has stayed with me all these years. I carryher with me always.
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 7:21 pm
Esther Bradley-DeTally
thank you Frank; there are several people, young and old, who remain in my heart’s image section - an honor and privilege to witness, sad though; there are a lot of brave and courageous people out there!
By Esther Bradley-DeTally on 04/29/2008 7:51 pm