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Entertainment | 04/29/2008 8:10 am

'wOw Friend' Judith H. Dobrzynski: 'A Moment So Sublime That My Eyes Start to Water'

Editor’s Note: Judith H. Dobrzynski is a former writer/editor at The New York Times and is now a freelance contributor to many magazines and newspapers.

Why does some music make me, and presumably other people, cry?

I’m not talking about sentimental love songs like “Whiter Shade of Pale” or “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling,” songs that bring back memories of sweet relationships now long over. They can bring tears to my eyes, sure. But I’m talking here about a symphonic or operatic moment so sublime that — without anything personal about it — my eyes start to water.

It happened again just the other day. I’m not an opera expert, but I’ve been paying a lot of attention to it lately, as I reported an article about the Metropolitan Opera for the Wall Street Journal. So when The New York Times posted a recording of the "Ah! Mes Amis” aria sung by Peruvian tenor Juan Diego Flórez during the performance of “La Fille du Regiment” at the Met on April 21, I clicked on the link. In it, Florez hits high C, which is about as high as men can reach, nine times. You hear the crowd roar, and you hear Florez do it all over again. I felt a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. Maybe you’ve done the same when you’ve heard Pavarotti sing his trademark “Nessun Dorma” from “Turandot.” I have, and I sometimes well up at similar musical moments that personally mean nothing and that are sung in a language I do not even comprehend.

But why? Is it because I am witnessing a pinnacle of human achievement — something most people can never dream of doing, let alone actually do? I think so. But I think there’s something else, too; something sensuous in the voice that reaches in and touches something deeper inside of me. After all, I don’t cry when an athlete breaks a record or a scientist makes a breakthrough.

Some psychologists, I’ve learned, call this “aesthetic crying.” It’s a phenomenon that no other species experiences — and maybe not all humans either. Like the crying that can result from a religious experience, this crying is said to be visceral, not learned. Knowing that — despite the sadness associated with crying — I feel rather lucky.


101 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Mugsy Peabody
Lily, do you have a website?
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/30/2008 12:21 am
Holland Taylor
O.K., Mugsy, that story made my eyes water. Another kind of high C.
By Holland Taylor on 04/30/2008 8:40 am
Reasonable Rita
Music, dance, art, words..beautiful words that speak or write of truth and fairness all of these touch my heart and the tender soft part of my soul and the tears will start..often just a reminder to myself to “breath” will hold off the actual water works..it is always a true reminder to me that I am indeed very human ..
By Reasonable Rita on 04/29/2008 4:48 pm
Frank Peterson
RR> Tears at the beauty of it all—it’s what’s makes us truly human—and yes I have to remind myself to breathe also— :-)
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 4:54 pm
Frank Peterson
WOW! The Sankai Juku? and the Joffrey? I’m green with envy and so happy you have friends that love you so very much. :-)
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 5:05 pm
Deni G
Lily, I was with some friends and we were driving through San Fran on the way to Berkley ( I think), to see the Joffrey Ballet and I looked up and there loomed a neon sign flashing “Ike & Tina Turner Tonight”! Tina Turner & The Joffrey, the same night. My heart was rent asunder. It made me crazy!
By Deni G on 04/29/2008 7:06 pm
Deni G
Exactly!
By Deni G on 04/29/2008 11:10 pm
Mugsy Peabody
No, dear, what we were gracious about was your misspelled Berkeley. And nobody who lives here ever calls it “Frisco,” or “San Fran.” We call it “the City,” or “San Francisco.”
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/30/2008 12:24 am
Mugsy Peabody
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/30/2008 8:11 pm
Deni G
Ha Ha Mugsy! I lived there for years. There, Sausalito, Marin, Muir Beach, Stinson Beach…And I call things, all kinds of things. You got me laughing like crazy!
By Deni G on 04/30/2008 12:44 pm
Frank Peterson
I’m beginning to think the the “Do you listen to your heart” section should be entwined here—after all—it’s all about the heart, isn’t it? and how beauty in all forms affects us emotionally. God I’m glad WOWOWOW is here on the internet!
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 4:58 pm
Meg Umans
I listened to classical music on the radio in my bedroom as a kid, and sometimes I cried with it. My father caught me, and informed me harshly that that was ridiculous, and I should be listening to the same music the other kids listened to, so I’d be popular. Thirty years later, the year he died, I started listening to classical again. Now it doesn’t take much to set me off. Music or dance or athletics or words or visual art or beloveds, human or animal. Yes, ecstasy, good word. Also, anyone else notice you’re more easily moved to tears since you stopped smoking?
By Meg Umans on 04/29/2008 5:05 pm
Frank Peterson
Smoking? tears? you too? holy cow I thought i was the only one.
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 5:16 pm
Bella Mia
I saw “A River Runs Through It” by Norman Maclean directed by Robert Redford. I was with my best friend, and by the end of the movie, I was in aesthetic shock. I made small talk on the way home, but I couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t sleep. The next night I snuck away to see the movie by myself, and cried, and sobbed, until they were ready to lock up the theatre. Now I watch it on DVD but only about once every year or two because just the memory alone is so moving that I can almost hardly bear to see it again. Somehow, I can feel Norman’s words and sense his spirit.
By Bella Mia on 04/29/2008 5:09 pm
Frank Peterson
Bella, that is a superb film—Redford got it totally right—a classic and yes it resonated with me too. The film and the book both. It is such a moving experience and when Paul is killed it just breaks my heart—I’ve fly-fished many times and there is something so beautiful in the act itself, the four -count rhythm, the water flowing, the singing of the line, that catching a fish is only secondary to it all and I always release. Maclean’s words are timeless and I’m so glad that Redford saw fit to use them liberally.
By Frank Peterson on 04/29/2008 5:21 pm