Hands down women are harder on women. I could write a book.

Of course we are, we hold each other back, down and all sorts of other things, we rarely extend a hand when it might limit our own selves, but for al of that I cant explain why we are so beautiful and amazing

Yes, Yes and Yes again! Women are way harder on other women….but also ready to lend a hand much faster for another woman!

Yes.

What’s not being stated is how this ‘toughness’ on each other can be a very strong competitive instinct manifesting itself. Putting her in her place in the guise of helpfulness is a female sport. I find this when entering new work or social groups. Men throw insults and haze each other directly, women tend to go underground and undermine indirectly with demeaning comments, or group pressure or even bullying even under the guise of being nice. I work in an environment of mostly men. It’s not always easy, I constantly have to prove I have what it takes but that’s far easier than having to fend off personal and professional sniping to the level I’ve received from other women. I didn’t get it, I wondered what in the world was I doing to tick off these women and blamed myself for the bizarre level of hostility until a (female) co-worker had me read “In the Company of Women”. I discovered that it was actually my strengths that was causing the problem, it didn’t matter how nice I was to a certain type of woman — if I threatened them on any level it was going to result in an attack. My experience is that men compete against me with the work, there have been a few women will compete by trying to ruin my reputation or drum me out with isolation. The irony? Most of them are cutting their own professional throats with that behavior, it drives male bosses and coworkers nuts. I focus on the work and building relationships — not tearing others down. I always have had good female friends and male friends that have the same values, that’s what is key. I can’t relate to the comments ‘men don’t get it’. I’d say as many men as women do ‘get it’ and that women don’t have a monopoly on understanding human nature. Although I think it is also a generational challenge, older men were rarely raised to share power, respect and authority with women.

As I approach 60, I’m finding women my own age are kinder and gentler than young women. I see the younger women more competitive and less tolerant. We made it possible for today’s young professional women, but instead of improving on our progress, they compete not only with men, but with each other.

Only if they cohabit as a couple, would women be as hard on each other as they would a man. Don’t ya think? /ed

I think we’re generally harder on each other than we are on men because we expect more of each other than we do of men. Afterall, they’re just men.

joan..you’ve got it girl….

No. I think that, generally, in our culture of personal-irresponsibility and radical feminism, men are still the preferred scapegoats for women.

I think so because we just get it, and lets face it you can’t expect something from the ones who are just clueless. Really I think we do expect more because we give more… . . Di

I think that we are much harder on each other then we are on men. I find that women tend to stroke a man’s ego before saying something that might “offend” them. I know that I did this with my husband. I am the mother of two daughters and I don’t pull punches with them. I was, and always have been more honest—sometimes brutally so—with my own women friends, and find I am the same with my daughters friends as well. At work I am surrounded by men and find that I do not interact with them the way I do with women. It’s more sweet flattery with the occasional sarcastic comment thrown in.