I like the one Jim Lehrer tells on PBS about two cannibals eating a clown and one cannibal says to the other, “Does something taste funny to you?”

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks). The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That record keepin’ took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer’s favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and, walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result…The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Not the best I ever heard, but it’s funny.. On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class. But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land. “Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear. “I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class. “What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot. To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

Instead of a joke I would like to share a cute funny story about my 4 year old great grandson. One night while I was baby sitting with him he suddenly asked “grandma, do we have to brush our teeth when we go to heaven.???? I told him I didn’t know…………………he thought for a few minute’s and then looked up at me and said “I think when we go to heaven God uses his magic powers and makes it so we don’t have to brush our teeth”………… I cracked up at the look on his face. He was so serious and it was so funny. In all my 76 years I had never given any thought as to whether we have to brush our teeth in Heaven. I hope my greatgrandson is right about God’s magic powers. Out of the mouth of babes…………….

New Yorker cartoon years ago: Two hippos neck deep in water. Staring straight ahead. One hippo says to the other “I just can’t believe it’s Thursday.” This cartoon cracked-up Johnny Carson.

A man is on a business trip and calls his deadbeat brother who is housitting for him anxious to hear how his beloved prize winning cat, Ms. Fluffy, is doing in his absence. “Oh” his brother responds. “Ms. Fluffy died. The man sobs uncontrollably for many minutes, then finally hiccups, “You—-you—-you don’t just blurt out tragic news like that!!” “Whaddaya mean?” “Well, the first day I called you should have said “Ms. Fluffy is on the roof.” The man blows his nose. “And then the next day you’d say “Ms. Fluffy is still on the roof but the firemen are trying to get her down. He sighs, snivels and continues. “And then the third day you’d report that the firemen did all they could, but unfortunately, our dear Ms. Fluffy has passed on.” “Oh. Yeah. OK.” “Well, you didn’t know. How’s Mom?” Silence. “Umm, ahh, Mom’s on the roof.”

I always but always forget the punch line of a joke. Usually I make one up and it becomes the most unfunny one ever. So today I am not even going to try, I may dig in my son’s repertoire when he gets up.

In Minnesota we have a lot of Sven and Ole jokes - Read this with a Norwegian accent in mind. Sven and Ole went to the big city to have a fun time. But they only had five dollars between them. Sven said, “Don’t vorry Ole, I know vhat to do. Give me the $5.00” Sven is gone a long time. When he returns he has a brown paper bag. “Oh, Ole, I haf such a fun time in zis bag.” And he pulls out a box of tampons. “Tampons?”, says Ole. “Vhat can we do vit a box of tampons?” Sven: “It says right here on the box, you can go swimming, ride horses, play tennis!”.