Merci, My Alias

Adla What a great boss

ki b, I am so sorry to hear about your accident and “painful recovery”. I can only hope you feel better soon. I take it your boss was afraid of a Workmen’s Comp claim. Did she at least give you any sick time after the accident? Is the company paying your medical and PT bills?

ki b . .. sending you good wishes for your ongoing recovery, stay cool in the NY heat … that boss of yours sounds awful …

Sorry about your troubles, my little frog, whose boss has shown you her true colors and is not worth too much of your bothering about.

hey, ki. good reviews do not always keep you from being pushed out. i heard that after he forced me to leave, my old boss said: “i believed the wrong one.” good luck to you in healing both your body and your spirit and then in working for what you need.

Dear ki b— I ‘m going to try to find a way to make you laugh In 1997, I had my first head injury..I was working like a dog from 94, been cursed at.Carried babies to car dealerships, and on and on…. Then, worked like a dog even harder. I wanted to reach a goal no woman in my company has ever reached. I was told I could do it by men directors and was being mentored very nicely. (I met my husband and I could not transfer) There was and still is no doubt in my mind I was there. When I couldn’t sleep at night I would drive into work 1,2 in the a.m. and work. (Had my own keys- Go to cogntive therapy, pain doctors, and work at home. I look at old cell phone bills and wondered what as the matter with me. My accident was before the work environment honetly knew about head injuries. One point…standing around in a finance office — I realized that I couldn’t total 16+1. I found a neuro doctor quick. My suit (boxes fell on me unsecured from about 15ft down). I still have screams. Well, welcome to the double talk express. At one point I had to back off the pain pills because I was finding it harder and harder to drive, or wake up and was told not to be late until I confided in my then boss I was hurting and he gave me a reprieve around a.m. rush hour. You have to keep in mind..people who are not honest,don’t believe there are honest people in the work because they cheat. I couldn’t be in pain because I worked the lawyers argued. No, I worked because I was going to be out on the street. And, at that time I had an excellent boss So, I worked my ass off thinking I was going to show just how good of an employee I was. Even recieved several awards, excellent reviews. Saved the company money, did capital projects, studied as best I could in my pass time about all aspects of Finance. (I don’t want you too look back a go what happened). .But that was not before my news boss tried her best to just decapitate me (and we can’t forget the minions).She knew me 8 years…By 2002, after bringing therapists into work and a hefty five figure medical personal bill (most of my settlement)…I was promoted, I thought it was worth it (yeah) only to have this same woman fire me 4 months later after my second head injury (all you lawyers out there forget it..we all know what’s legal and what’s not, but in some places. That is not what really counts). The beginning of this year….for the first time in my life I was on suicide watch. I want you to work hard, learn as much as you can, suck up as much as you can, keep copies of your accomplishments at home, keep copies of e-mails (send them home) and start planning to get up, dust yourself off and start all over again. No matter what you do, I had to learn the hard way that you are always a liability. Even once you get well. By my second incident, in my mind I honestly thought that all those prior years put in would matter. I also felt that my job would help me to recoup so much sooner…they kicked my ass to the curb so fast, you would have thought I was these tomatoes we are now running from. I had skid marks on my body. Senator Arlen Specter has written an excellent book on how people don’t want to get near you at these times. The great thing is that right now they cannot touch you while you are in the status that you are in — and use that to the best of your ability. I don’t want you to get that letter and end up never being able to trust anyone again (that is not funny). I don’t know your age, If you’re younger, they’ll be thinking you’re faking and at a certain time, put pressure on you, If you’re mid level, they’ll think, we can afford to get rid of her and hire someone younger because she OBVIOUSLY has a spouse or assets where she can take care herself. And, if you’re close to leaving, somwhere in HR they’ve done the analysis and someone is keeping track of your hours in, out, doctor appointments, mistakes, but never your “kudos”. Your boss won’t speak to you…If this woman is older she is part of the management sector that the “network” always uses to do the “deeds”. If she’s younger….etchics may not have kicked in yet and all she is seeing is that monthly income cost beneft analysis. The boss I had would actually come out of her office at 8:40 a.m. every morning to pretend she was going to the bathroom to take attendance. I can’t speak for others but I rarely left at 5:00 because of traffic and enjoyed working in the quiet. They actually lost hours from me. For laughs almost every morning I would stand someplace in the common area of the building and watch her at 8:40.There she was clomp, clomp, clomp. Then the cigarette breaks — 9:15, 10:40 and the diet cokes…. She made everyone miserable and they still are. Don’t stress yourself. They are what they are. Believe that every dime is theirs. So therefore, the behaviour is always acceptable. Hell, my boss didn’t even send me a get well card and I could have lost my life…instead I got a termination letter in the mail two weeks after I made settlement on my new home and 7 months before I was to get married. If she asks how you’re doing, she’s going to have to evaluate and report…I went to a birthday party for what I thought was one of my friend’s daughter…only to see an e-mail of what I had said at the party going to my former boss. Which by the way was wrong — I have actual legal proof of that. Live and work on you. Laugh at how many times you have tried to accomplish something in therapy and you just can’t get it. BUT remember how bad you were when you first started. You are progressing, it’s just slow. Try (even if your income in limited) to get yourself something that makes you feel good. Do you like socks, or even something as little as a postcard. Try planning a vacation of a lifetime. Vision yourself getting there. Believe in you! I call me “weeble wobble and sometimes, I do fall down!” Or, if I misjudge a wall, I tend to say..” ouch, gee the wall just kind of moved and hit me.” I wish I could tell you that the hurt, the pain that you feel from your co-workers will go away, but I don’t believe it will. My doctor just explained to me that we don’t forget. We compartmentalize and move on and it does come back. I still cry and it still hurts 6 years later. I also realise that at this point in my life…I know about true loyalty and friendship. Don’t ever confide in your boss of co-workers of a skill that you feel you they can turn against you. Tthey will find a way to get you out the door before, they think you will cost them any more money! You’ll see it in a statement from someone. Now you might ask, what the hell is funny about all of this?….The funny thing is that you ARE NOT the person they want you to be. They’re the morons and I can lay you odds that somewhere is your organization, there’s a “GREAT” employee right now that is getting ready to take them for a fake disability loop. It happened in my company, The one they thought was so forthright was a jerk! I’m not sure I agree with you in not suing either, but we each cross our own road. I was decent on that level too and now I don’t cut anyone any slack because your “so-called” friend has shown what her interests are and that is not you. Do not do it for “payback” do it because you feel it is right. I sat in those management disability meetings….you would be shocked. You just need to get better! All my best. I’ll check in from time to time to see how your postings are going and tell you a few more crazy stories hopefully to make you laugh a bit. I’ll tell you about the lady that couldn’t hear, but actually did just fine. Get stronger and better….