Question of the Day | 10/13/2008 12:00 am
Happy Columbus Day! In life, what uncharted waters have you traversed and what ones have you yet to traverse?
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Kryssi,
In my home when new foster kids would come, many times they were on drugs that their social worker had put them on to calm them down. It was usually done so the child looked like a success case, the child was less of a problem for the system. Once in a great while there would be someone who definitely needed to be on them, but not that often. My mom always got the kid weaned off of them, and they were always grateful saying that they could now start being themselves.
I don’t know much about weaning off of drugs of any kind, except to say that if you need professional help to do it, then get it. Make sure your body has all the support it needs to cleanse the drugs out of your tissues. Lots of water and support for your liver and kidneys. From what I do understand, you should be okay.
I had a friend who had pains in her elbow, not much, but some pain, and a doctor started her on vicodin and she got hooked. She said he didn’t even ask her that many questions, just prescribed her a pain reliever. Crazy. How about some Ben Gay or something.
You are amazing and doing the right thing for yourself. Take it one step at a time.
Thanks!
I am indeed taking it VERY slowly. The last time I weaned over a six-month period, and yet somehow still ended up in the ER.
This time I’m quadrupling it - I am at 1.2 years and counting! I should be completely off the damn drug by next summer. You think two or so years is plenty of time? LOL
You are there, Kryssi. Every effort you make to find yourself is worth it twenty times over. Repressed memories hit me after my first mastrectomy (nice, eh!), and after 12 years of psychoanalysis to rid the demons, I’m a totally different person, but my self, values, and intellect remained. It is a puzzlement to those who could push my buttons “previously” but I don’t care. No need to explain, or fret, it’s others problems now, not mine. Jump in with both feet. It has been worth the money, time, and effort (they certainly cost me enough money too, but as of a few weeks ago, everyone else in the US has lost their money for far less important reasons). Fear not, and move into the light, there’s always that golden cord on the ‘ring’. Grab it anytime you need to do so, and know that you are not alone ( it doesn’t help much but …). Love to you.
Love to you back, Carol!
I am ALL for some demon-ridding psychoanalysis, and look forward to becoming care-free.
Kryssi,
I suffered from anxiety attacks for over 30 years. I don’t know how old you are, but you can conquer it. Between the medication (Zoloft), which I went on after my husband died 10 years ago for reasons that had nothing to do with anxiety, meditation and a very good exercise program, I have been able in my 60’s to say that I overcame them, not the other way around.
I have posted rather extensively on anxiety, and if you go up to my avatar, you can read the posts. If you can’t find them, we can talk about it. Just know that it takes discipline, but you can beat them.
I forgot to say, Kryssi, I also weaned myself off Zoloft about 5 years ago(doing it correctly!), and lasted about 3 months until my doctor convinced me that I would be much better just accepting the fact I will do better on it rather than off. Ditto for 2 of my friends. So, I take it along with my other meds and sometimes, I feel an anxiety try to start, but it doesn’t go anywhere, and disappears. But, I also set out to find the root cause of them, and also discovered that they are medical as well as cognitive.
And, please remember, you have been given a love gift—-drawing and writing. Those are what I call free gifts from God that you came into the world with. Unless use those talents, you can’t be centered within yourself. And, you will never be able to know yourself quite as well as when you can start drawing and writing again. So, go for it and have fun with it!
I was given Zoloft to control anxiety, too. It was the first AD I was prescribed as an addition to the one I have been on since age 13 (Remeron - the one I am trying to wean myself off of). The Z did initially help my anxiety immensely - in fact, it completely eliminated my panic attacks! Unfortunately, it turned me into a zombie most of the time. And when I wasn’t a zombie, I was inexplicably irate. I almost (intentionally) rear-ended a car in front of mine at an intersection, because I was feeling especially impatient and hateful in that dream-like moment. In the end, that drug made me as close to homicidal as I can imagine being. So I stopped cold turkey. I have heard too many stories of Z affecting people in a homicidal/rage way, but I have also heard stories such as yours - so I am glad it works for you!
As for me, the stupid attacks came back…naturally. So they moved me onto Lexapro. Ahhh, Lexapro - my godsend. NO MORE ATTACKS! And it didn’t completely kill my libido, which was nice. …unfortunately, it made me a zombie, otherwise. Once again. Those damn pills must be purposefully engineered to prevent people from experiencing ANY feeling whatsoever. I guess that’s why they’re so successful. But I HATE feeling…nothing. I’d rather feel stress (and the occasional moments of bliss as a result of contrast) than NOTHING AT ALL.
So now I’m back to just my original Remeron, and anxiety. And I can’t help but wonder…would I have ever developed panic attacks if I hadn’t been put on this mind-altering psych med while my brain was still technically in development? I am dying to find out. If I am wrong, then I will always have my Klonopin prescription for emergency situations, until I get my general anxiety NATURALLY under control.
As for the weaning - the last time I tapered off Remeron was over a 6-month period. That should have been PLENTY of time. But apparently not - after one week of being Remeron-free, I found myself in the ER, spazzing out due to a week’s lack of sleep AND appetite. They did NOTHING for me, by the way. They wouldn’t give me a Xanax or just SOMEthing to calm me down - claiming this was a psychiatric issue, not medical. I said “IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT, EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO DISCUSS THIS WITH MY PSYCH!” Nothing. My mother had to pick me up, because I was still too panicked to drive (BECAUSE THE E.R. DID NOTHING TO HELP ME, YET CHARGED ME $600 ANYWAY!)…
Christ, what a nightmare. These drugs are evil. And now, in addition to fearing all pharmaceuticals, I no longer trust doctors of ANY kind. The medical system in this country is FUBAR, and not just because it is under the agenda of Big Pharma.
But I digress…
This time, I am just over a year into my current weaning. I plan to be off Remeron completely by next summer. Let’s hope TWO YEARS is enough this time.
I’m getting way too personal here so I’m just gonna shut up. Thanks for letting me vent, though LOL!
Kryssi,
You still are a creative wonderful young women! Now that that has been said, Back off slowly(I have done this too!) Reverse the intake , and I found meditation techniques very helpful. Not all of them, I think each of us has their own way, but by trying them you will discover yours!
Meditation is my next goal. Currently I am interested in deep-breathing exercises; supposedly you can prevent anxiety by achieving the acceptable ratio of oxygen and carbon in your body. And, supposedly, many of anxiety sufferers are chronically hyperventilating, simply by incorrectly breathing unconsciously/unaware.
Let’s see how much BS this turns out to be….haha.
Kryssi,
Deep Breathing has helped me after I learned to recognize the early onset signs. Would have done nothing for me when I would freeze and just start crying and be unable to move or talk. It sucked! I went through such a bad period, that I could not grocery shop if I had to make a decision I would panic. Now it seems to happen mostly when I am a passenger in a car. I get nauseated and break out in sweats and cry. I have learned not to look out the windshield, instead i am like a dog I stare out the passenger window and look for flowers! Outside of the car, I am pretty O.K. now. If I start to feel at all overwhelmed I stop and use the slow breathing and focus on happy thoughts. Then I will question myself as to why it was triggered, and see it for what it is. You going to win this one, do not give up! And do not let your family and friends to to fix yo,that always makes it worse , mine have learned just to let me deal with it and not to pay it much mind!
Kryssi
You are amazing and brave. I had problems with anxiety when was going through cancer treatment, my oldest son was leaving for Afghanistan which didn’t help matters. Meditation was necessary. Conscious contrary behavior was my compass. Stifled creativity becomes trapped, so to speak, and “fires” from your solar plexus. If you start to feel anxious try holding a pillow and pressing against your solar plexus and breath. After practicing that for awhile, the physical manifestations of anxiety become less dominant. The most important step towards healing yourself is get back into doing art. The anxiety will subside as you express your creativity. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It can be whatever your want to express. You don’t hide here, so don’t hide there. Just take it slowly.
Kryssi,
After a very consequential accident Oct 24, 2000, I started having panic attacks (didn’t know what they were until diagnosed.) Read an article in the NYT that just as life threatening and life diminishing as cancer, etc….seemed an exaggeration then but now see it. I’ve never taken meds but tried to fix with exercise, meidation, diet etc….everyone needs to figure out what works best for them. But yes, chaos in the world does impact us all and creativity thrives in security and the peace to think. So….feed your creativity I think, in nature, music, poetry…whatever. Give your energy to that…and find the peaceful place you need to create. Best of luck…I think you’re great!! Creative, fun and a good writer.
“just as life threatening and life diminishing as cancer”
You’re damn right it is!
I was watching a West Wing rerun a couple weeks ago, and the First Lady (who had some sort of medical degree/past) had popped a couple or so pills in this particular episode. Someone privately called her out on it, and she went on this tangent that was so RIGHT ON, I was stunned and had to PAUSE my dvr just to think about it. She described in such detail what happens to the arteries and tissue all throughout your body when you let anxiety go untreated over the years. She ended up at “and finally, your heart fails.” YIKES! This became her justification for OCCASIONALLY taking, what I am assuming is a benzodiazepine (Ativan, Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, etc), because she was preventing her body from being deteriorated by anxiety.
It was truly an eye-opener.
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