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Flora…thank you so much for your thoughts. We did get down there and on Sat we all thought she wouldn’t make it through the night. When we went back on Mother’s Day the very next day, she was alert again and she remember seeing the kids and us the day before. We all had a little talk and then headed back home. She’ll probably not last the month and my husband and I will try to get down there again. What ever happens, that Mother’s Day when we saw her more alert will be a great memory to have. Thanks again for your thoughts.
My mother and I have two major things in common: we love Vidalia onions, and we don’t understand why people don’t think things through. Neither issue defines our relationship, but mentioning this has made me ravenous for a hamburger with Vidalia onion on top. Sorry, I’ve got to go…..
In so many ways, I am indeed my mother which is mind boggling as I always believed we were so completely different. Now that I am an adult and she is aged I see how alike we are. She is so much fun. Her love of life is her greatest asset and I am happy to say mine too. She is smart and independent and strong and a woman of integrity. All the things we would wish to be and wish our daughters to be. She has always, always been true to herself and those around her. The world will be a duller place, a sadder place when she’s gone. It is an honor to be her daughter.
Sorry Girls, I’m not a fan of “Mother’s Day”! First place, my Mom is gone - 13 years now, and the last 3 she was stuck at age 40 (she was 82 when she had a stroke). Second, of my own 6 kids, only 2 are nearby. Third, well it’s all become too commercial! We’re told to buy this, go out to dinner, etc. I’d rather “spend” more time together than just this one, opening gifts! I’m sad remembering those days when my Mom, the kids, & hubby spent the day just having fun in the sun.
But I digress. Like my Mom? She was beautiful (even at 84!), not I - she was a spelling whiz, I tanks God for spell check - a vocabulary, language, & writing whiz, I did catch a tiny bit of - a “social activist,” that I caught, but not to the extent she was. And I still don’t cook as well as she! Then too I’m no where near as disciplined as she. She finished college at age 69! Values are caught, not taught!
But her love of family, & history, & politics, & current events, her sense of justice, compassion, patience, and tolerance, and good taste in decor, classic attire, & in creating my own style - yes, I thankfully am like her there.
But I’m also a product of my Dad. In many ways, I’m more like him, my laisser faire attitude toward money, time, and all those other things Mom always worried about. I’ve lived by 2 of his many mantra’s, Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true…” & another fella’s “silence gives consent.” (Pop must have memorized every famous saying, and used them profusely throughout our lives!). I always, even as a kid, admired her, and my Dad. My hubby says I put them on a pedestal - well, they did SO much in their lives to admire!
Guess that’s why I like this site so much! You get to speak your mind & other’s listen, and you get to see other’s thoughts. I haven’t had that since Mom died! After years away we came “home.” Mom & I spent every day together, for 10 years, till her stroke. For that I’m ever gratefull! We solved EVERY problem, Locally, Nationally, and Globally! Our solutions were just full of common sense, we couldn’t figure out why the powers that be didn’t think that way. I miss her tons. I can’t get her a card so I’ll skip Mother’s Day.
I don’t think I have turned into my mother, although I look like her mother (who was my ‘beloved Granny’, but died when I was ten) and my eldest son (who knows my mother) says my voice sounds like hers .. but the words are different, very different.
No one in my family of origin or procreation has, ever, disagreed that I am my ‘father’s daughter’.
And yet …
I look at my daughter … who seems very different from me … at least her life has been. She is the one who sometimes seems like my mother in her personality … but more like her father’s mother.
Then her daughter, my eldest grand daughter, who is very much like me. But I raised that young lady as Granny who had to take the mother role since my daughter ‘had her own life to live’ as my mother had … The confusion of generations here might have made a difference.
… but my younger grand daughter is much like me in her interests, tastes and aptitudes and I do not know her that well.
Then the newest two in my family, great grand daughters … one, age three, who is my best companion these days since I am the ‘Granny’ of this family, and the newborn … who is yet to be known.
I have five generations alive at the same time to understand … and many memories of my maternal grandmother. I have some good memories of my father’s mother as well and my mom says I am more like that woman than anyone else.
Maybe, next month, ask about ‘father’s daughters’ …
(To the site which I learned about watching ‘Charlie Rose’ … I am a little confused about how this works … I hope it does.)
I most definately have turned into my mother. I hadn’t realized how much until recently when shopping with my youngest daughter. I was tired of walking around the store endlessly waiting for her to be finished with her shopping (as my mother had done when shopping with me years ealier). I called her from within the store (using the cell phone) and told her I’d wait for her up front by the chairs at the register. There I sat, purse in lap (JUSTLIKEMYMOTHER) and waited. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the glass door I thought OMG, I’ve turned into my mother!!! When my daughter finally came to me she was laughing and said the same thing that I had turned into my mother and I replied…thanks, that’s the nicest thing you could ever say to me. While seated there I reflected on how much I was like my Mom. She was a wonderful example of what a Mom should be. She taught me so much and gave me two gifts that I will carry with me and have passed on to my own daughters. The first is a strong faith. The second gift is the meaning for friendship. She valued her friendships with her “lady friends” and taught me about friends and nurturing friendships and embracing those we love. What a gift huh! WOW
Thank goodness, no! If I had turned into my mother I would not have reached 50. My mother is cynical and critical and makes statements as if they are fact without having done the research to back it up. She is 81 and has always lived in contemporary box through out her house and refuses to learn to cook. But, I love her and she makes me laugh. I am the opposite of my mother, thank goodness for my daughter’s sake, because she is the best of my mother and myself. Now, she is gorgeous.
5/10/08
My mother was a hoot. She died in a car wreck when I was 53 and we had absolutely no unfinished business. I see her sometimes in my mind sitting on a cloud somewhere, smoking the cigarette, drinking Scotch, charming the hell out of everybody around her, and laughing. I have her love of life but I am a lot more complicated and solitary. She was a great friend and those are incredibly hard to find. She was very tolerant of people. She always said, “It’s not up to me to figure out stuff. It’s up to me to be understanding of the stuff I can’t figure out.” I never saw anybody who did not like her, and when we had the Irish wake after she died, we all got up and told Lola Kate stories, for hours. What a send off….
My little mother. I miss her so. She drove me crazy but she drove me. I am the oldest of 4 children and she and my rotten father were divorced when I was nine. We differ in so many ways. She had a sense of fun that was amazing. On 25 cents she could somehow get the whole neighborhood to the high pool in the heat of the summer . Always the perfect adventure.
I’m (only) 29 years old, but I see that I am slowly turning into my mother…in certain ways. She has the biggest, most forgiving heart of anyone that I know. I’ve picked up that trait…I find it too tiring and pointless to hold a grudge or stay angry for a long time. Though this inherited trait can cause people to take advantage….so, I’m not sure if this is a good thing! She is also a hard worker. She had 2 jobs (versus my dad having 1) for most of my childhood, but I don’t remember her not being there for me and my brother. Today, I have 2 jobs, single -no family…YET!
Also, I’ve been told that physically, I am my mother’s “mini-me”, which is fine with me because she’s 56 and looks 46!
No, I am nothing like my mother…She is kind, I am blunt…she is “available”, I am private….she is helpful, I am private, she is always “gathered”, I am helter skeltered. She cleans like a whirling dervish, I ….don’t! But we both love fierce!
I think I have a lot in common with my mother, but still I’m quite different. I really hope that my future personalety and way of “life” would be even more like hers. For even though I admire a lot of great people in this world, there are no one I’ll ever admire as much as my mom! She’s fabulous! And I really hope my view of her will never change, luckily I don’t think so ;)
I wish I could be half the person my mother was. She was a true lady, so smart and good and decent and accomplished. I never heard her gossip about anyone. She was tidy in her thinking; she wouldn’t write interminable posts like me. Today, May 18, would have been her 92nd birthday. I fedexed a present to her in Heaven.
She was wise too. When she made out her living will, she said I would not be the child to make any ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ decisions if she became terminally ill. She knew I would want her around forever. I still do.
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