I had to think long and hard before replying to this question but the answer is..I’m sure I am but I try hard not to be. Some people just shouldn’t have children and my mother is one of those. She said to me once, ” Didn’t you ever want something really badly even though you knew you wouldn’t be good at it?” I was heartbroken but a little relieved to know this was not a conscience choice she made to be self centered and unavailable, it’s just the way she has always been. Perhaps this is why I have swayed the pendulum so drastically in the oposite direction. I have certainly overcompensated but I have a terrific relationship with both of my children and they will never question my love or the importance they hold in my life. I see my mother when I pass the mirror or at least what she looked like before the plastic surgery. I am always painfully aware when I do or say something that reminds me of her and try to make a note not to do that again. lol We had a ten year span where we got along pretty well, I stopped expecting her to act like a Mother and she welcomed the relief. My most profound similarity would be the way I learned to walk away, from her. We now live very separate lives and I wish her the life she wished she had.

I am not sure I ever clearly understood my mom, until she was dying and no longer able to communicate. At those times, you are really listening to how she effected other lives, and the attributes that had become her legacy.As a kid, I thought my mom was more aligned with Edith Bunker, than wisdom.But in the end, it was more of a sense of the wonder of a person, that maybe I never knew. Above all she was love, and always turned a negative to a positive. At her funeral, the church was brimming from friends, to hairdressers, all with the same last thougts. She was peace. We had argued over the years about my not wanting to be the religous person she thought I should be, and following a more spiritual path. But the last question that she asked on an occasion when we had met at my sisters was in a crowed rooom, I was reading a paper and had my head down and she asked who I thought God was. I didn’t look up for a minute, and when I did everyone in the room had dissapeared, knowing how the interactions in the past had developed I guess. So I answered, and all she said was “that is what I thinik also”. For maybe the first time in decades, she had left me speechless. I never had another chance in this world to sit down with her again. A year later at a family wedding, I was looking at my sister from the side and seen a carbon physical copy of my mom standing there, never realizing how much they looked alike, and the tears really started to flow. There was just so much I never knew, or how much we were alike, rather than different. So, heres to you mom, may I leave this world just a fraction of who you were! Linda

God, I wish. I strive daily to be half the woman my Mother was. She did more with grace and dignity with much less in a much harder time. Incredible!

In a number of ways, I too am like my mother. Like she always did, I worry and dwell over what most probably consider trifling matters. But, I can’t help it and I’m asking you for help with the following trifle matter. My question for you pertains to the appropriate protocol in rescheduling appointments (with hair stylists, etc…) due to illness or whatever. My dilemma stems from a couple of factors. One is that my hairstylist’s mother is a friend. They are both the sole co-owners of a local salon. The second is that my stylist is actually based out of New York City. Her general travel/work schedule puts her in New York City for 7-8 weeks; then she returns back here and works in the local salon for approximately 2 weeks before returning to New York. Due to my own travel plans, only a few weeks ago, I rescheduled my original appointment with her from week one to week two of her local work schedule. Several days after returning, despite my desperate attempts to fight it off, I ended up catching a horrible summer cold. Bumm! The brunt of it naturally hit me on a Sunday (when the salon is closed) and my appointment was the following (Monday) day. Naturally, this was also my time for color which was overdue. Double bum! After deliberating over my problem for a while, I decided to call my friend (my stylist’s mother). I am not one to take advantage and I don’t want to be perceived as one who expects special privileges. At the same time, my stylist is phenomenal and I did hate to miss my appointment with her. However, I was willing to reschedule with one of the other stylists which I had planned to offer as a possible solution. In the end, it worked out. My stylist was able to fit me in Wednesday (when I was so much better). Under these circumstances and with last minute cancellations such as this, would you say that the appropriate protocol deems that I, at least first, offer to pay for her time (for my potentially missed appointment)? I wish the best of luck to you with your new venture wowOwow. Thank you for your time and your advice! Teri Heistand

I don’t know. My mother died when I was young. I wish I knew what she was really like, not my childhood images of her.

YES! When your spending quaility time with your children you should be free of worries and concerns. While spending time with your kid or kids, put them first. lay back, laugh and just have fun. Try not to think about the bills and the money that you don’t have; that stuff will still be there later. Time is precious, once it passes by theres no way to get it back.. LIVE. LOVE & LAUGH.

My Mother and I were less than 20 years apart, we were always told we looked like sisters, and I don’t think a day went by without us touching base. She died when she was 47, and I was 27.  I was devastated by her death, and I was in the process of going through a divorce and raising a 3 year old child.  We looked alike, we talked alike, and I thought that I was going to die before I ever turned 50.  Well, here I am turning 67 this year.  Did I forget to mention that she was married and divorced 4 times, before she died.  I have been married 3 times, but for the last 21 years have been so fortunate to have gotten right.  So, even though I looked, acted, talked, walked like my Mom, and felt I was going to duplicate her life, I have had my own wild and wonderful ride.  Wish she was here to see her sucessful grandson, my wonderful husband, and our loving  grandchildren