I don’t even have a GP—I have gone through so many doctors who have disappointed me. The last GP I went to could not diagnose a simple case of eczema, which got much worse before it got better. Three doctors and two months of pain later, I found a dermatologist who cleared it up completely in under 24 hours; he was indignant at the ineptitude of the others. I never had eczema before or after this isolated incident. It was so strange, I still shake my head at the memory of the infection I could have diagnosed, myself, online. By contrast, when I was growing up, I lived in a small town where everyone went to one doctor. He was trusted, kind, and gave me a lollipop if I didn’t cry during an inoculation. It was a different time I think, trusting doctors, trusting anyone with one’s health.

It is enough of a “great relationship” to have confidence in your doctor so that when you are talking you are sure she is listening. Or that you have enough confidence in yourself to know that when she is talking, you better be listening. I am able to email my doctor after a consultation if I want to confirm anything discussed. Saves a lot of time from playing phone tag. She replies within 24 hours. Doctors don’t often hand-hold their patients anymore or soften their words with placebos. It is, therefore, in the best interest of women to lose their shrinking violet syndrome before stepping into the examining room.

The gold nuggets in health care come at strange times, but they have held me in good stead ever since. Back in the middle ages, my local doctor - that white-haired father-figure - retired. On that last visit, he gave me the advice that was to hold me - and many others - in good stead forever after. “When you choose your new internist, it would be best to find someone who might outlive you. Choosing a doctor whose age is around 40, give or take, will allow him to have the years of experience under his belt that will hold you in good stead. And yet, he will still be young enough that he will be very up on the newest and latest in medicine coming up.” But he added one more thing that has saved my life: when you do need a specialist (and we DO find that our need for specialists seem to expand with age, don’t we?) you will find that doctors don’t go locally for their own needs. They KNOW, and if they are wise, they are going to the top of the field in the bigger cities. A lightbulb went on in my head which is still burning bright. Why should I go for a major issue to anyone but those considered the best and brightest in our nearest large city — or even beyond? A world that I could not fathom opened up. Not only was there a notable difference in their expertise — as they specialize within their own specialty, keeping truly up with what is your health problem — but I have found that when this match is made, you have taken your own health concerns out of your hands and into theirs. There is more than a small relief in being able to do that, in believing - knowing really - that you are with the best. How can we judge how our doctors are with other patients? My doctors’ eyes seem to light up when they see me. And vice-versa. OUR relationship is always good, and from their smiles (and mine) I am favorably remembered. I figure that if they CARE, I am going to get the best treatment that there can be. As far as I can see, I would guess that they almost look forward to my visits . . . which is very very neat!! They give me time - none of this 10 minute stuff - and they are not put off by a gal that comes in with knowledgable questions, questions that I have honed over time — a long time if truth be told. My experiences are good ones. My learning curve is sky high, and my avocation is finding the best and brightest specialists for my friends in need. It has worked. It has saved lives. It has given me the opportunity to show my friends that I will always be there for them. Perhaps, after all, that IS the jewel in the crown. So - do I have a good relationship with my specialists? Frankly, it is wonderful, truly wonderful — and I would expect no less.

Fortunately, my visits so far to the internist has been preventive care, just upkeep. I switched to a woman years ago at the onset of perimenopause. My doc is a listener, respects and trusts my judgment when it comes to medications needed, etc. I see her once a year for an overhaul which is just fine. I’ve heard friends of mine with less rapport with their doctors. I also believe the more specialized doctors some of my friends have, the more confused advice and treatment they get. Various specialists caring for the patient need to be on the same page as far as diagnosis, treatment, etc. They just don’t communicate with each other.

Some years ago my wonderful OB moved his practice to a town two hours away from me. Since his new location was less than 30 minutes from where my daughter lived, I made the trip every year and spent the rest of the day with my grand kids. Then my daughter moved and I just couldn’t justify the time or the gas for the trip to my doctor…so I went to a new one in the town where I live. My first (and only) appointment with him started with him striding into the room, taking one look at me, and saying: “Ya know, I can fix that…you don’t have to look like that….” He was trying to sell me Juviderm to plump out the marionette wrinkles around my mouth! I was appalled to the point of being speechless. The man didn’t even introduce himself. Call me “old school,” but I wouldn’t ask my dermatologist for a pap test…why would I get a cosmetic procedure from my OB?

Same charming, calm, helpful , generous with samples man has been in my life for 2 decades, must see him today. However, in the last 2 visits I found him to be grouchy and looking exhausted. I think it is time for him to see a good doctor.

I am fortunate…found her years and years ago when she was “new”…she was attentive, listened, followed up by phone…I thought to myself at the time “Uh-Oh..they’re gonna throw you out of the “Doctor’s Club” if they find out how well you’re treating your patients…” She has never changed. In fact, a few years ago when I was in the hospital, she came to check on me just four hours after she gave birth to her first child!!

I shun doctors. I go once a year because my husband makes me. But I see a slew of doctors with my son, and I have a great relationship with his team of doctors.

I have a really great doctor. He is responsive to my needs and questions and is the type of physician that understands just because he has graduated medical school, doesn’t mean his learning has ended. He understands that as technology and medicine advances occur, it means there is more for him to learn. And the cherry on the top is he is a really nice guy!

I have a cautiously respectful relationship with my doctor. I think she’s skilled and she’s a good listener. but she’s a doctor. I just recently discovered that fact when she told someone in my family that the headaches they were having from coming off of an anti depressant she’d been subscribing for SEVEN YEARS could be because their body just “likes lexapro”. That was pretty much when my “I have the best doctor in the world” rhetoric became “I have a good doctor who is still just a doctor”. I wanted to say to her “honey… their body loves lexapro because you’ve been giving it to them for seven years!” Did none of these docs read the research or pay any attention to the fact that anti depressants are supposed to be short term help? not long term fixes? On the other hand this same doctor will forever be the one person who accepted my mother as a patient when she was on medicaid after I wrote her a letter telling her that my mom was being treated like a dog by the doctors who took medicaid in this town (she had moved here a few months prior). most of them didn’t speak english and the one who did refused to talk to her if i was in the room. and scolded her for complaining that his exam room was cold. My doc office didn’t take medicaid patients at the time. but she took my mom. and in the last few months of her life she was finally treated with respect by a doctor. and when my mom was dying it was this doctor who was able to patiently guide me into being able to say to my mom that it was okay if she wanted to die and didn’t want any more treatments or hospitals. so even though she is just a doctor… she’s a hell of a person.

My husband has Myasthenia Gravis as well as many other health issues. It took us years to find caring competent people to care for him even though we live near a medical college. Most of the doctors scheduled three patients every fifteen minutes so they brushed aside any issues that didn’t fit their schedule. I kept asking for recommendations finally finding the wonderful professionals helping him now. They take the time to listen to him instead of writing another prescription and they coordinate with his other doctors so we don’t have to duplicate expensive tests. A relationship with a doctor is a two way street. We have seen patients ignore advice, not show up for appointments and argue about taking care of themselves. I can see why some physicians keep their distance with certain people. We are grateful to have found the dedicated professionals in our lives now.

Yes I do—The Doc and I go back nearly 30 years and he literally saved my life. He is thorough and explanatory and chews me out when necessary. All in all the best doc i’ve seen since VIetnam.

For someone who distrusts everything and everyone involved in the current medical “industry”, I sure do appreciate that my doctor is one of the few who doesn’t make me nearly as overly suspicious… He even tells me when I need to exercise or change my diet as opposed to just throwing pharmaceuticals at every problem…but when it comes to drugs, he’ll pretty much give me all the free samples he can possibly get. It’s pretty sweet. Also, he keeps begging me to move “to the beach or somewhere above the tree line” because he hates watching me get so miserable and sickly every allergy season….