John McCain would be a ‘57 Mustang, a hot car for a hot kid. His nickname in high school and his first few years at the Naval Academy was Punk. (I saw him about a month ago and he said, with some wonder, of his son, who is at the Naval Academy, “He’s not like me. He doesn’t have a single demerit.”) But actually I see him on a motorcycle. He’s the original rebel without a cause. You should read his memoir, “Worth the Fighting For”. He talks about surprising things, like his admiration of Hemingway, especially “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, and the fact that he loved Ted Williams in large part because he spat at his fans when they booed him. Who does that sound like? Obama would be something modern, sleek and solid. I don’t know enough about cars to know what that would be. Mrs. Clinton would be one of those cars from the fifties that isn’t the sleekest or smartest, fastest or coolest, but it doesn’t break down much and if you kick the tires you break your foot.

McCain would be an old, well-maintained MG. Hillary would be a Volvo. And Obama would be a hybrid!

Obama would be a very slim hybrid Volkswagen bus with a Ferrari engine, French tires, antelope leather upholstery, and a born again fish symbol visible on the back. McCain would definitely be a 1962 stick-shift Mustang, reconfigured after a series of very bad crashes between 1968 and 1973, with new chassis and wheels. A car brought up to EPA standards in 1985, with new upholstery and a lovely Wenge wood steering wheel, and a matching Wenge Wood stick shift handle. The glove compartment is stuck. Optional cup holders added in 2002, ashtrays removed in 2003, sun roof added in 2004 and removed in 2005. The car was painted blue in 2006 and repainted red in 2007. There are signs of former bumper stickers but it’s not sure what they once said. The duct tape that held the exhaust pipe in place has recently been replaced by new chrome. No one has looked under the hood in a very long time. Senator Clinton is a Volvo (good) SUV (bad) with tinted windows, and extremely muddy tires. The rubber on the windshield wipers has been worn away by constant use. There are candy wrappers behind the driver’s seat and a blue dress sometimes gets tangled in the rearview mirror.

McCain: a Hummer. Clinton: a Bentley. Obama: a Prius.

Sen. Clinton is a Chevrolet Silverado Hybrid — considered the best pickup truck out there. Plenty of room for Bill’s friends in the crew cab and plenty of room for all the baggage the Clintons carry in the pickup bed. It is American, green with an electric-powered HVAC system. (Chelsea drives behind in a bright, yellow Nano. Cute.)

Sen. McCain is Chevrolet’s new limited edition Z06 427 Corvette that pays homage to those big stingrays of the mid 1960s and proves what a man you are! His Corvette is red. Of course.

Sen. Obama is the elegant new Audi R8 two seater with diesel that zooms to 200 mph but delivers 26 mpg. A green, high performance, intelligently designed, smooth looking and agile car. Highly admired. It will be available for you to buy next Fall.

The candidate I dream of is the 1999 Bentley Azure No. 2 — in my eyes the most beautiful car inside as well as out — ever.

My very first car was a used, navy blue 1967 Ford Mustang with a white convertible top. That car is John McCain — even the colors are perfect. All muscle, without a lot of finesse, it didn’t just accelerate when you tapped on the gas, it leapt. For all it’s much-vaunted sportiness, it was a solid piece of metal without a lot of today’s amenities, but it has demonstrated remarkable staying power. It has been in production constantly since 1964, albeit with several makeovers. But the Mustangs that everyone loves are the old-timers — if i had mine today it would be worth a fortune as a classic.

Obama is a black Jaguar XKR, sleek and mysterious and very fast — a little stand-offish and show-offish at the same time.

Hillary is without question a Buick, maybe even one of those enormous, bottom-heavy Roadmasters. When it’s on the road, sooner or later everybody else has to get out of its way. A Buick was always for folks who couldn’t afford a Cadillac, or who were too prudent to spend the money on something so showy.